The Lord's answers will be given...

Elder Paxman in the Hospital.

He has always been a good patient.  

He never complains and always tries have a good attitude.

Even when his mission is disrupted by health issues.

"Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting"

 Elder Paxman spent 4 days in the hospital in Indiana and had a variety of tests.  None of the tests could determine what had caused his bleeding, his low blood counts and his low iron.

Due to the fact that he needs more tests and to recover his blood levels he will be coming home from his mission on May 17th with an honorable medical release.  

He had so many people help him, visit him and care for him.  The Elders of the White River areas, His companion Elder Rowberry, The Coffin family, especially President Coffin and Sister Steadman the mission nurse!  They were all amazing and he couldn't have done it without them.

He is so sad to be leaving and would love to stay in Indiana and continue to serve, but realizes he needs to come home and get well.

After his hospital stay he was released to the care of his companion for a few days to wrap up some things and to pack.

Elder Paxman and Elder Rowberry

 Elder Paxman, Elder Rowberry and the Coffins.

"We may not know why, or how The Lord's answers will be given, But in his time and his way, His Answers WILL COME!!"  ~Elder Robert D. Hales

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing."

Not on the mission bucket list....

First I do not have a letter to share from Elder Paxman today.   I do have some pictures from our Mother's Day face time.  He was able to face time us from the home of the Diaz family who he baptized along with his companion in December.  Elder Paxman loves this family so much and they love him.  They shared with us, their conversion story, how the missionaries changed their lives and how Elder Paxman is a blessing to them. That because of the missionaries and the gospel that they shared the Diaz family is now a real family!  The thanked us for the sacrifice of giving up our son for a few years, that he may come to Indiana and be guided to find them and touch their lives.  They also stated that he is like their son and brother.  They will remember and be friends with him always.  They expressed their love for him, the gospel and for us as parents who raised a son that could bring the spirit into their home.  It was nothing short of amazing!! Tears were flowing by all, the Diaz family, Elder Paxman and us.  We took some screen shots, sorry they are blurry.

Now because this is his mission blog and I endeavor to document all the mission experiences he is having I will have to post the reason  I did not receive email today.

Elder Paxman has been admitted into the Indiana University Hospital.  He has been feeling quite weak the last week or so and his color has become very pasty.  It was also discovered that he is having some bleeding either from his stomach or his intestines somewhere.  Due to this blood loss his hemoglobin is only at an 6 and should be closer to 14. He is not feeling sick, not in pain and in good spirits. His only complaint was having a HUGE IV placed in his arm to receive blood and IV fluids.  Also he stated that this "was not part of his mission bucket list"!  He will spend the night in the hospital and tomorrow have an Endoscopy done to see if they can locate where the bleeding is coming from.  He has many people looking out for him and checking on him.  Even though he is away from home... He is not Alone!

Prayers would be great at this time!

I wanted to leave you with a piece of his testimony...he bore it in Spanish on Mothers Day but I of course am challenged and can't get the video to upload.  I will try again later. 

Tomorrows battles are easier won...

Dear Mom,

Ha ha funny enough we actually do not have any parties or anything set up for Cinco De Mayo... So who knows?  We did get invited to one, but we have a lesson planned, so if the lesson cancels or something we are going to go.

As far as transfers go, I am staying and my companion is leaving. I will be getting a new companion and I have three options/ideas of who it will be. I will also put them in what I think the likeliness of it happening is. I think it will be Elder Rowberry, Elder Thurston, or Elder Mancilla. We will see who I end up with.

(We received a cute picture of Elder Paxman with a little Chihuahua and I asked him about it, and I asked if he was still taking a lot of pictures.) I am glad you liked the pictures of me with the puppy.  Yes it is her dog and it is adorable!! hahaha Mom you are more emotional than me which is hard to get sometimes. Although, I have found I am not as emotional as I used to be or mainly just different things trigger my emotions now. I am glad you liked the picture. My camera is still working, it’s a little beat up around the edges but it still works. I have been taking a few, but Elder Markward (my companion) doesn't like pictures so I haven't been taking as many, but there are a few on there. I will probably be sending my SD card home here soon.

(I sent him pictures of our outing to the Tulip Festival and told him about what a fun family outing it was.) That sounds like a really fun outing with the family and one we will have to do when I get home. Also that is a freaking ton of flowers.

I am sad to hear about Rachel. I hope all goes well for her with her health and she can continue to do whatever the Lord has in store for her... I hope all goes well with her future plans, tell her I say Hi when you see her and that she can always email me if she wants.

Well they haven't let us know anything about the calls for mother’s day, so I will let you know the night before as usual.  But I really have no idea on details right now. We have church from 11-2 so my guess is it will probably be at night time. So I will let you know how that goes when the time comes.

The work this last week has been really good, we taught quite a few lessons.  We were able to get some less actives to church which was amazing. We actually keep track of how many lessons we teach in a week and this week was 21 which is really quite good for our area. When we are not teaching we go door to door or stop by formers or Less-actives.  We can keep busy doing service or a variety of things.  Usually it is going by formers homes and potentials and stuff more than going door to door. Overall we are pretty busy.  We never have down time except the breaks that are planned, but most of the time we just eat and sleep during those. One cool thing that happened was a less-active got up and bore his testimony and it was an amazing testimony!!  It was very strong and the spirit was amazing. So that was great for him and he has been coming for the last 2 weeks and I believe he will keep coming as long as we get him a ride, so that was awesome. We are going to hopefully be finding some families or something like that we can work with, because right now we are not teaching any families and I find that the gospel is better accepted in families and I love teaching families anyway. Yea Spanish is rough but I am still going along and it gets better weekly so that is good. Also I am behind on my Book of Mormon challenge reading because in Spanish you have to read like 9 pages a day, so it has been rough.

(What will you be doing for p-day, anything fun?) We will be playing sports and stuff as usual which is always fun.  My health has been hanging in there I haven't gotten sick really, I still feel weak sometimes, but for the most part good.  I have a little cold I am trying to shake, but it isn't too bad. I go back to the doctor in June so not for about a month. (I asked about his weight because I thought he was looking a little thin again) Actually we don't have a scale so I have not been monitoring my weight, my guess is probably around 170's but I have no idea without a scale.

Oh one other amazing thing is Drew was down here on Sunday and I got to see him before church, that was amazing and he is doing really well, so that was really nice for me to see him.

This week from my studies, I always study a Christ-like attribute from Chapter 6 in Preach my Gospel every Transfer and this upcoming transfer is going to be between two of them and I haven't decided yet.  It is either going to be Humility or Faith. So I have been studying about those a lot. It was interesting, I was reading about Faith and it was talking about how even though the Diligent seeker can obtain faith it is still a divine gift from God.  That is how some people have the spiritual gift of faith. Also we can strengthen our faith by hearing others testimonies, which was something I already knew. But it made me think about how many times I had slept during fast and testimony meeting as a youth at church back home and I felt a little guilty haha. One part that I really liked is that Faith is a principle of power and God works by power and that he works through our faith to perform miracles, but how often times our faith needs to be tried and put to the test. To me it reminds me of the tempering of steel and how it must go under intense heat and pressure to become as strong as it can be, because it helps get out all the impurities. I feel this is the same with us, often times we are put through hard moments to help get the imperfections out of us, in a way and manner that is most beneficial to us, and of course at times very trying. I feel as though I have been through many of those moments in my life and am continuing to have them. They are not always big events sometimes they are small things within the caverns of our mind, the small day to day thoughts and actions that are almost rote to us. We fight the battle in our minds on a daily basis of Faith versus doubt, or Hope versus Despair and even though sometimes it is hard to pick the good side, it always pans out for our greatest benefit in the end, because the higher the heat and greater the pressure the better the steel, and when we have better steel, tomorrows "battles" are easier won, because we are better equipped.  These are just some thoughts I had as I studied this past week.

Well I have taken a lot of time and have to get going soon. Well I love you so very much and hope that all continues to go well back home, and I will be giving you a call this Saturday in the night probably to let you know about the details.  It  will only be for like 5 min though just to set up the Mother’s day stuff. So I love you mom and hope you have a great week.

Love, Elder Paxman  

The Temple was Amazing!!

 Elder Paxman and his compa Elder Markward.

 Elder Paxman and his compa and some others at the Louisville Kentucky Temple.

 Same Elders with the Branch President who took them, President Coffin.

Louisville, Kentucky Temple

Dear Mom,

I do have pictures from the Temple, but I don't have the things to attach them, so that will have to wait sorry... The temple was amazing, and I loved it as always, the new video was epic! It felt amazing to be back, and the whole event was really fun. Although the temple is tiny!! Hahaha or at least on the outside it looks like that. But, I am going to include more details about the temple later on in the email.

Do you eat at President Coffin’s house often?  We eat with the Coffins maybe once every other week.  I have eaten with them twice so far, and we probably will again once more before this transfer is over.

I received a picture of you via Elder Hjelms mom taken by Hermana Hernandez I think… Where was this?  I think you look good in it, not too skinny. We were at a dinner appointment with Maria De Los Angeles she is a really nice lady that feeds us every Sunday. Although I am glad I look good in the Pic because I felt terrible when it was taken, we went back to our house and I was way sick! So that really stunk.

How has your health been?  What about your energy level, you told daddy it was really low?  So overall my tummy is alright, I told Dad you guys could send out the vitamins and stuff.

(Ben’s sister Bailee graduated from College this week.) It sounds like the graduation thing went awesome! I am glad that she enjoyed it and that all went well. It is crazy to think that she has already graduated! That is so crazy... After this there is a ton of crazy adventures up ahead.

Oh just to let you know this letter might be a little shorter because we don't really have a p-day because of spending a day at the temple, so we have to be done with all our p-day stuff soon.

(I told Ben that news at home was that I had thrown out my back and his sister had to be grounded for typical teenage behavior..) It seems like you have thrown out your back more and more, be careful mom... Yeah Teenagers... Good thing I was never like that, bahahaha, if only... Hang in there mom we get better, well it might take her a few years yet to grow out of the teenage stuff, but hey I still get to miss a year of it so let’s look on the positive side bahahaha.

The weather here has been anything but severe.   It has rained once in the last few days and for maybe like 2 hours and not that hard.  It is cloudy today, but no rain yet. So the weather thing is not an issue it seems. When it does rain hard here it is beastly, but it is similar to when it rains hard in Utah.  I have been in worse in Utah.  The thing is here it is much more frequent and can be terrible. Driving isn't too bad although Indiana drivers are the worst in the entire nation I swear!! Yep it is still humid here and it will get worse as time goes on. I don't think I will ever miss mowing the lawn... EVER!! haha

The work is going about the same, nothing really new to report on.  The Diaz family is doing great, we are still teaching them and everything there is going good. My Spanish is alright and you are right about me being my own worst critic thing, I have always been that way though. Things are still going good with the companion. For transfers I am not sure what is going to happen, one of us is leaving for sure, maybe even both of us, so we will see. We pretty much know he is getting a new companion, but we don't know if it will be in this area or what... So he can't drive because he doesn't have all the licensing and stuff worked out, but he got a call from the car guy saying he needs to get his stuff ready because he just needs to. Now that either means he is training, which we don't think or that he is going with Elder Mancilla who also cannot drive because he got his privileges taken away. So he is freaking out poor guy. As for me and the whole transfer thing we have no idea what so ever. I am indifferent to go or stay, I would love to stay, I love the area and branch.  But I won't be torn apart if I leave either. On exchanges my companion met some new people, but we have not really met or started teaching any new people very consistently... I really like the complete Spanish branch it helps a lot with the language and I do understand everything!!  We don't really have a P-day today, because of the temple, and I am going to have to end my letter soon, so I can respond to others. I only have like 15 min left. The translation challenge is going alright, I have gotten behind a bit because we have had tons of meetings and stuff at the time I usually read, so I am trying to catch up a bit. I am actually really glad people are reading the blog I hope it is making a difference for someone out there. Oh quick side note, Get on Roo's case about that girl writing me!! I feel lonely, bahahaha, no not really but hey potentials mom come on!!

Ok so a little about the week. Mainly I want to talk about the temple. It was amazing the power of the spirit there is just amazing. I was fortunate to have the Celestial room to myself for about 5 min. This was an amazing experience. Although this week I have been thinking a lot on how we receive Revelation.  Especially out of D&C 8. I read that in the temple and it was really strong to me in that moment. I think it is amazing that we can pray to our heavenly father and receive answers on a daily basis and even more frequent than that!! It to me truly shows his love and His closeness to us. It is simply amazing how he can hear all of our prayers and answers them all when it is best for us. I think it is cool to ponder about when we pass on, how familiar His face will actually be, and all the memories that will come pouring back into our minds of times we walked and talked with our father and our Savior.

Well like I said this week’s letter is going to be shorter. But I love you all and hope you have a great week and that all goes well for everyone. You are all in my prayers constantly and I hope that this next week is filled with miracles and adventures even just the everyday ones, like no red lights or who knows. Well I love you and hope to hear from you soon. Although, next week will also be short because it will be transfer week p-day.

Love, your son, Elder Paxman

Not just Enduring, but Enduring Well!

Picture sent to me by a dear friend and shared to her by President Coffin, 

Elder Paxmans branch president

 Picture posted this past week via Face Book by Hermana T. 

Dear Mom,

(We recently took a trip to St. George and while there saw a few fairly large lizards, in the past this would have resulted in a catch and grab by Ben.  I asked if he would still chase lizards.) Hahaha, as far as the lizard thing goes... Do you really have to ask that question... Of course I would still go grab them and chase after them!!! Give me some credit hahahaha. I do remember the Gublers sending me letters, there is just one problem I don't have them anymore because they were in the big blue thingy I sent home. Also, yeah I am terrible at writing back by snail mail, but I want to get better so if they send me some letters I will try and get back to them.  Although one reason I feel bad to write back to people is because my hand-writing freakin sucks haha it does, especially when I am in a hurry.  

Hermana Selegna Torres is a member that I am tight with.  She is super cool, I knew her at the beginning of my mission. So accept her friend request, plus she will probably send you pictures of me through Facebook.

(I asked him where the picture of the 6 Elders shown above was taken and when.  I received it on Thursday, via a text from the branch president to another missionary momma that sent it to me.) We were at the Branch Presidents home, and it was I think this last Thursday. (I also mentioned that he is again looking a little skinny.) I probably am a little thin again, it has been a while since I got really sick, but my intestines are still not really normal, they still give me fits every once in a while. I have stopped the medicine for now. We are doing the 2 weeks on 2 weeks off thing, but I am keeping a pretty good record so the Doc and I can keep track of things and talk about it when I see him again.

(We are all doing the Book of Mormon Translation Challenge.  He is doing it in Spanish, which I told him was awesome!!) It is a little hard to do the challenge in Spanish, but I really like it, I don't know quite a few words, but I can deduce them with the sentence and words around it.  Another goal I have is to read the entire bible by the end of my mission.  Right now I am in Leviticus 18, it.... okay I am not going to lie, kind of stinks, like I need to know the 200 different ways to tell if some guy has leprosy! Goodness I can't wait till I can get out of that part of the bible, which is pretty much the first 5 books.

I am glad that people like to read the blog, it is kind of cool to think about for me. I just hope that people get to hopefully feel the spirit even just a little by the words that I write, especially since I am not the greatest at it.

Yes I was at the meeting; it is called Why I Believe.  It is a meeting where a few of the newly baptized people get to go up and tell their story and their testimony.  I really liked it.  They have it about once a month or once a transfer here in the city. We did get the Easter package and I did really enjoy it! I loved it, the socks where awesome. I liked the design ones, I have always wanted some. I did give my companion his Easter sack, and we didn't open our sacks till Easter and we did find the money. I really liked the Submarine tie bar, I thought it was super cool and I wore it that day to church. I loved the package overall and the candy was awesome! I still have most of it because I have been saving it.

This week has been good, but as before nothing much new has really gone on. We did find people to teach, so we will see how all of that pans out. We did also teach a few lessons and they went well.  We did get fed by Hermana Maria De Los Angelas and Vicky some members.  Oh Vicky is Hermana Selegna Torres by the way but we call her Vicky.  I am serving under Elder Cozzens he is my DL, he was my trainer, and it is cool to work with him again. We are getting along well.  So as far as the work goes not a whole lot is new, actually no investigators showed up to Church which was sad, but it was still really good. Jesus Diaz (now a member Hno. Diaz The father of the family that Elder Hjelm and I baptized) taught in Priesthood today and it was amazing to see how much he has progressed in about 5 months! He did an amazing job and testified of many things, it was a really cool experience for me, and gave me an opportunity to see the fruits of labor not only on the missionaries’ part, but also on the part of the convert. The Diaz family is doing really well; they just got called this last Sunday as Ward Missionaries so that was amazing to see.

So I do have some amazing news, but I will get to that near the end. First I am going to talk about my studies and stuff. So this week we have gotten some training and I have studied a little bit about Enduring to the End. Which seems to be a pretty simple principal, but when things come down to it, it can be the one we fail at the most. One of the big thoughts I have thought about, is how can I endure and what blessing have I seen in my life from enduring?  Well first off, I came to the conclusion in and of myself that it is not a matter of enduring, but enduring well!! All men can endure, but it is truly admirable when it is done well. I thought of times in my life where I felt I have endured well and times where I felt that I have failed in that aspect. One of the many experiences I came upon was that of being in the hospital, after the surgeries, especially the 4th one. I remember being told I had to walk every day. Now if you remember that was not an easy thing at the time.  It took 5 minutes to get unhooked from all the wires, then it would seem as though I would take 15 steps, be in too much pain, return to the bed get hooked back up, and still being in pain, doze off.  I do remember though something that Dad and I discussed several times and my own thoughts from that time in my life. The first "it could always be worse" Dad would say as he would have to lift his own crippled son out of the bed so he could watch him take those 15 agonizing steps, than to only return to where he/I was in utter pain laying almost lifeless in a bed. I learned though that many people have the thought, “it could always be worse”, but yet when they are in the act of suffering there attitude changes from that to "Yea it could be worse, but right now I feel like I am going through hell so who even cares if it could be worse... I don't know if I can even make those steps!!" I learned that although those 15 steps would be some of the hardest I would ever have to take, that each one meant the world to me, and they meant even more when I had a good attitude about it. People take 200 times that amount of steps daily and with ease, but yet in their hearts they are in a worse state than I was physically. Another thought of those 15 steps, I was able to go 15 steps further in my progression towards being somewhat normal, what if I had not taken those 15 small agonizing painful steps...? Well I would have been exactly where I was in the first place with little or no progression. Sadly a lesson I learned at an early age is that Suffering is something all too common in this life and often time’s necessary in this life for us to grow. How do we expect to take a hike in the mountains when at first we don't think of those 15 steps? Our lives change greatly I believe based on our Attitude, at times I have had a great attitude and other times not such a great one, but in this life attitude can make the difference.  So I have learned to smile more, be grateful, and look forward with faith, because if it wasn't for those 15 steps I wouldn't be where I am today, and so I am grateful for those "15 steps" or moments like it in my life. Even though at times we wish we didn't have to take them, after we have done so, we are always glad we did.  So yea that is what a lot of my thoughts have been about lately.

Well the good news that I have is that I am going to the Temple on Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited, I haven't been in a little over a year and I am so excited to go back!! So I am preparing for that, we are just going with the Branch President, but I am so excited. So yep that is about it for this week nothing too amazing but it was a good week none the less. Well I hope you all have a great week, and that all goes well. I love you so much and hope to hear from you soon.

Love, tu hijo, Elder Paxman  

It's the small details that have always changed my life....

 A picture posted to an Indiana Mission page I follow of Ben's district.
Ben is almost right in the middle, back row.

A picture I stole off of Elder Trenton Griffiths blog... from right to left starting at the top.

Elder Marse, Elder Bawden, Elder Griffiths, Elder Butterfield, Elder Simms and Elder Paxman.

These fun boys were all in the same primary, cubs together.  Now all serving missions!!

What a handsome group!

Dear Mom,

Okay, so first I will try and think of something for the missionary momma’s thing for you. Although I already have an idea for your mother’s day gift so we will see with that. Also how long do I have for the missionary momma’s thing? Because I will need time to think of a missionary mommas thing to do, I hope I can do something cool, but I will need time.

I am doing good this week, my health has been better. Scott Beckstead got re-married that is good, and I hope Kenny Graffs fiancé can get her visa and stuff, who knows maybe it will come sooner than they expect. I hope all is well with Eric Vance.  Damon Harker was always saying he wanted to go to Alaska, so maybe he is living the dream who knows; hopefully he is doing well though.

(I shared with him some fun experiences Brooklyn had at the Stake Dance and after this past weekend) Oh great.. so the boy stuff starts with the youngest.... Let us just say, that is something that I could wait another two years to have to deal with. So one of the missionaries that I knew out here just got married, now that was really really weird, anyway that was just a side note. Hopefully Brooklyn will be all mellowed out with the boy thing by the time I get home hahaha, but knowing my luck that is not going to be happening.... That is cool that she and Bai did a song together in church. Kevin Ford said he is anxiously awaiting a trio when I get home.... Yeeeaaa Right!!!!! He does write me about every week so it is good to hear from him.

Conference was amazing, and I got 450 views in 2 days holy cow!!!! hahaha that is really cool, although who is reading my blog...?? Well I am glad, as long as it might be helping someone out there, that is enough for me. Oh before I forget can people comment on blogs or how does that stuff even really work...??  Oh which reminds me you have to watch a video that is really cool called "Because of Him".  It is super cool we all got to watch it the other day and it is amazing, it only lasts like 3 min. but it is about Christ.   Yep me and the companion are doing well, every once in a while there is an issue but we resolve things pretty quick, so we get along well.

(I told him that since his companion is a good Spanish speaker he and his companion should make a goal to only use Spanish with each other.)That would be a good goal we will have to see how that goes. Also I am reading the Book of Mormon, I am actually doing the Translation Challenge in Spanish!!! I am in like second Nephi chapter 2, I think so that is going good. How is the challenge going for you?  I have found a lot of really good scriptures that I enjoy.

As of right now we have no plans for Easter Sunday, but we will see.  Although this week we are getting fed a lot, which lately it has only been once a week so that is nice. I also had Mole which is probably my favorite dish, so that was really good!!  I hope to learn how to make it and some other foods so I can cook some stuff for you guys when I get back. It is Spanish members that feed us.  We were fed homemade chicken nuggets this last time... They were good, oh wait actually we were fed Enchiladas which where amazing, the nuggets were before that, so we actually usually get fed one to two times a week.

I am excited for the Easter package, although I cannot think of anything that I need... Maybe two pairs of socks, some of mine are getting pretty thrashed, but I only need a few pairs. That bites about Grimm getting erased from the DVR, but at least you can still catch up online, it would really be bad if you couldn't catch up the rest of the way. I will definitely be watching Grimm when I get home... sounds good to me, I really liked it!! I was the one who got all of you hooked on to it after all!! BWAHAHA. I’m glad you are going to see Grandma and some of the family, I miss them, especially Calin, me and him are buds for life haha.  Could you just try and get Gma Paxman to email me, I hope she will. I also hope she is doing alright.

Anyway it is indeed crazy to think that I have less than a year left.  It is said that it becomes even more crazy when you hit single digits. So who knows we will find out, sadly. I love the mission so much, it is by far one of the harder things I have ever had to do in my life, but it is so very worth it. I am glad that you have enjoyed me serving, as have I, but I am still young and full of youth so we aren't on the homeward stretch yet.  When I only have 4 months left, okay, then this conversation will be a little more depressing and exciting all at the same time haha. Plus remember Uchtdorf's comment, this gospel is not filled with endings only Everlasting Beginnings, and that is one thing that I believe helps every missionary move forward, whether that is from area to area, or mission to home. The mission is going good though overall, the week has been good and nothing really new has happened, at least not that I can remember right now. Things are going pretty good with the investigators that we have right now, everything is kind of moving slowly so we are trying to find ways to really get this area going again and to think outside of the box, so if anyone has ideas feel free to shoot them my way. I am glad that you added my companion to your prayers, I feel as though he needs them right now, he is doing good though as far as I can tell.  (his grandmother just passed away) There is still a little bit of a wall there, but I am trying to break it down and he is trying too, so with time things will continue to get better. I just hope I can be the companion and help he needs right now. Today for P-day just the usual, going to the church to play sports and have fun, that is about it. We usually play Volleyball which I like, I am not great, but I at least feel like I can do alright.

Mom… no worries, we have a Tornado plan, although as pretty much as you said, it just consists of not dying! hahaha We will be alright though.  I have been thinking, it seems my life has been filled with little events that have shaped my history, even in the midst of the big situations it has always been the details that have changed my life. Well today to finish off, I just want to share a little bit about Jesus Christ seeing as this is Easter week. One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately, is how much I mean to him? I have come to the conclusion in my mind that if the Atonement could have saved only one of Heavenly Fathers children, that Christ would have done it. I truly believe that is how great his love is for us. Luckily though his Atonement is not for just one, but for all, for that is the invitation right, that all may come unto Christ and be perfected in him. Another thing that I have liked is in reading pieces of the Bible I have found a scripture, although I do not know where it is at in this moment. It is very short but it just talks about how the Savior went to the Garden of Gethsemane and pondered or stayed there for a while. I feel as though one thing he could have been doing is thinking of the great challenge he was soon to face there in that place. Christ is everything to us, and even though in the scriptures it states that we are less than the dust of the earth, we are indeed everything to Him! I am sure of it!! I believe one can feel this for themselves, by simply thinking of what it would take to go through what he did, and not just in these last moments of his life, but in his entire life.  The hardships, the trials, the scorn, the temptations, all of it, and then if we simply kneel down and humbly ask, with a sincere and earnest desire to know, not as a witness or proof or miracle or anything, but simply so that we can know and feel it for ourselves, which honestly I believe many of us already have and we just forget it. But that we can ask to feel the Love of Our Heavenly Father and his Beloved Son Jesus Christ has for us, and that it will be made known unto us!  It may be made known in a hundred different ways, or maybe only one way, but I know that we will feel of it! I mean just think, he made this world for us to come down and live on it, and be happy "Adam fell that men might be, and men ARE that they might have JOY". Joy is what is meant for us in this life, and in the life to come, and it is all made possible through Jesus Christ and all that he did and continues to do for us, because after all he is not among the dead, but among the living. Anyway that is what a lot of my thoughts and studies have been on.  I have already taken a lot of time and I still have to respond to a couple of people. So, I love you all very much and hope that this week is filled with hope and blessings for you and those around you. Have a great week and hope to hear from you soon.

Love,

Tu hijo Elder Paxman.    

Missionary Vacation of Awesome Revelation!!

Dear Mom,

Man I miss the classic food that we have for conference! We were talking about that today even haha. That is sad that Dad went alone, but I am glad that him and Eric hooked up there! (He is speaking about Priesthood Session) How is Eric doing by the way? How is all the gang? Scott? Kenny? Eric? Perkins? I was curious how they have all been. I loved conference as usual.  It is like a missionary vacation of awesome revelation! We did get food in between sessions. For the sessions we just watch them in English in the Chapel with a bunch of missionaries and members. I loved all the talks, but especially and as always all the ones in the Priesthood session, they were amazing. I also really enjoyed Eyring’s talk, he is one of my favorites to listen too. I just loved all of conference!!! Elder Holland’s talk reminded me of a movie that a recent convert showed us the preview too, and it looks way good.  It is called the Saratov Approach, It is about two missionaries in Russia that got abducted and beaten, it is a true story, although you probably shouldn't watch it... knowing you, you will have weird nightmares... hahaha.

(We have had quite a few auto break in’s in the last few weeks in our neighborhood, it’s teenage riffraff I’m pretty sure and the neighborhood is starting a neighborhood watch.) That sucks about the break-ins and stuff.  I always hated the stuff that goes on especially by the delinquents... So hopefully all will go well in the meeting and things that follow.

(I asked how it has been returning to an EXACT area he had already served in.  Same apartment and everything.)The coming back into an area is not very common at all on the mission, and so far I have not heard of that happening at all! So that is kind of awesome. We will keep the car I am sure, but I will probably have to ride a bike again sometime in my mission... Driving in the city is stressful there are a lot of morons out there hahaha, but it makes for good and funny stories. I really like my companion, he is a great guy with a good heart.  He is a crier like me, so I don't feel so alone on that front anymore haha. We get along well and I am sure we will get along better with even more time. We have investigators of course, but we are trying to find a lot more.  (I asked him if they still do language study, companion study and companion prayers.  Just because I don’t know and was curious.) Yes we do language study and also we do companion study every day. We go over lessons and do a bunch of stuff like that we also talk about things we have learned and know and all that kind of fun stuff. I like them they are fun for the most part. We do pray together.

(I always see reports on their weather and asked him about tornado plans etc.  And I had heard that they had flooding in the White River and wondered how close he was to it.) We have a few tornado plans, pretty much hide and pray hahahha, I have no idea. The White River is right next to the church and there hasn’t been that much extreme weather yet, but sometime here soon I could see that happening. Yes, the river you have seen in my pictures of Indy is the White River, I know not very white...  

Bahahahaha!! Thanks for sharing the story about Trenton buying whiskey, knowing Trenton it was probably him that made that mistake hahaha that is a really funny story. Do you remember my Friend Tyler Augenstien, he is serving in Florida near Disney World and he is baptizing Mickey Mouse!! I died of laughter. 

I had the follow up Doc appointment; he just changed the anti-biotic I take, so we will see how that goes. Also sadly I got really sick this last week after I started the new medicine, which sucked because it has been a while since that happened... (But not too alarming, it’s not uncommon for him to have problems with his stomach when he first starts new medicine before his body adjusts)

(I told him that as a family we started a new thing called The Book of Mormon Translation Challenge.  It is that the book of Mormon was translated from April 7^th to June 30^th 1829.  The challenge is that if it could be translated in that amount of time we could read it in that amount of time.  So we took the challenge and I said if he had time he could do it also.) I might try to read that much, but time wise we will have to see if I can do it, I read slower usually so I can get more out of each verse, and I’m already studying some other things.

(How long do you think you will serve in this area?  Any ideas?) I am thinking… well really I have no idea for how long I will be back in this area, we will see with time I guess.  Well so far not a whole lot new has gone on, we are just looking for new investigators, but it is funny because I swear I have knocked every house in this place so knocking them again is weird and fun. Not much new has happened though.  Conference and the Doc and being sick took up most of this week... So I will go to studies and such until next week haha sorry not much new like I said. So, one thing that I have and am going to start studying again is the Pre-earth life. I really enjoy this subject, I am not sure why, but I always have. Also, I like to study a lot about Christ and our relation to him. One thing that stuck out to me though this past week was with the story of when Christ drove all the merchants and stuff out of the temple.  I found in Jesus the Christ it elaborates on it as well, so I read that and also the story in the bible to get my own insights. One was that no one really tried to stop him or got angry at the moment, I think this is because they all deep down knew he was doing the right thing. Something came up like Vice cannot stand when the hand of Virtue is raised, I related this to a comment in a talk at conference, that talk about how there will always been opposition to Truth. This is so true. As a missionary we fight opposition daily, we are the front lines if you will, and that opposition can come from many different sources. One of the greatest sources of opposition is trials, but, another one that is more subtle but just as deadly is one’s self. I feel as though often times we are the only thing getting in the way of happiness in our own lives. Whether that is Pride, a lack of Confidence (my personal fall back) or simply a lack of desire, we all have those things inside us that make continuing on the straight and narrow more and more difficult as the days go by. Overall though these things can way us down and drag us back as chains of great weight or they can help us move forward. I have also found that after carrying a large load we often feel lighter than before, not because the load got lighter but because we got stronger.  So yea, it also related to Elder Bednar’s talk and how we can gain traction. One last side not before I end, Do you remember that night Damon and I got stuck in the Blizzard hahahaha, I do and Bednar’s story reminded me of that moment which is actually a pretty spiritual story, that I realized I have never shared with you. Oh well a tick for another day. Well I love you all and hope you have a great week! Stay warm in the wonderful weather..... And have fun!

Love, Elder Paxman   

Surprised at Transfers, Follow the Will of The Lord

Elder Ben Paxman at Transfers.  Picture taken by a sweet missionary momma!

 Elder Paxman and his new companion Elder Markward.  Taken by Branch President Coffin and posted to facebook.

Dear Mom,

I really liked the cookies mom, they were super good and I am glad that you got them for me.  Elder Markward actually got the other cookies because he is my new companion. I am glad you liked the packages and the Books of Mormon.  (Elder Paxman sent us each a Book of Mormon with a post it note that had a list of scriptures that he wanted us to look up and mark.  He had also written his testimony in each one.) I wasn't sure what to do so I thought that was a pretty good idea.  I was going to highlight those scriptures and make you all find them, but that would have taken forever, seeing as you all got like 12 scriptures.

(This past week we were super blessed to receive 3 packages from Ben, a phone call from Brother TIncher, a member in the area he was just transferred from, and pictures posted via facebook by a sweet sister and the branch president in his new area) The Tinchers are amazing and I plan to email them next week, they are awesome people and yes we always joked that they were going to set me up with their granddaughter. I would email them this week, but I am a little short on time. I don't know if they have served a mission in Palmyra but I will ask him next week and see what he says.

1.      Why did you send home your Spanish Preach my Gospel?  Don't you need it? Isn't that what you teach from and study? I have two of them so I sent one home just in case you guys wanted it, and because it took up space.

2.      You also sent home the Spanish MTC study book, don't you need it to study your Spanish? The really big one is super old and I figured dad could use it if he wanted I found it and thought it would be cool to send home, I still have the newer ones with me.

3.      Where did you get those metal dice?  Are they homemade and who made them?  They are cool.  Brooklyn wants to put them on her shelf in her room till you get home. I told her NO WAY they are Ben's.  If you want to display them you have to ask him.  A member made me the metal dice back in Logansport his name is Junior. he was super cool and from Puerto Rico.

4.      Why did you send home tie tacs? The Tie tacs were sent home because they put little holes in my ties and so instead I used to use them as lapel pins, but they said we can't use them for that anymore, so that was sad...

5.      Where did you get all those CD's.  The country Christmas ones?  Do you still have the CD's because all the cases were empty.  If so where do you keep the CD's? I bought a CD case and the CD's are gifts from members, and then I bought I think two of them.

6.      FYI, Drew Shaver requested you as a friend on Facebook.  I accepted him for you.  You have also had a request from a sister Deandra do you want me to accept that one? That is awesome Drew invited me as a friend and I am glad you accepted him, also you can accept Sister Deandra she is a very nice less active sister from Logansport.

7.      What were all the Bibles?  Gifts from investigators, and the mini scriptures... where did all of that come from?  The bibles are gifts from investigators and the little books are a military set that Elder Hjelm gave to me and I need a box made for them haha.

This week was really interesting... First off as far as transfers go... I am BACK in CUMBERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Crazy right!!!!! I thought so.  Yes I am in the same Branch and so I have the same mailing address as from the start of my mission hahaha. Hermana Marciella is a member in the White River branch.  We have a full time car, thank goodness!! My new companion is Elder Markward. I like him he reminds me a lot of myself when I first came on the mission. I drive, he has only been out for about six months. The apartment is the same one I started in, but they fixed the shower so it isn't retarded. So I like it. The Branch is good.  Good news the Diaz family is active again (this is the family he prayed so hard to travel back to Cumberland to be able to baptize) and it was like having a small homecoming yesterday in the Branch so that was awesome haha. I did love the country though.  My Spanish is alright not amazing, but it does alright considering I have not been using it.  It is going to be an interesting transfer.  We have a few investigators, but we will be trying to find more as time goes on. The Diaz family is in the branch and my area of course, so that is good they were really excited to see me when I surprised them with a visit on Saturday!  

8.       What are your plans for Conference? We always go to the church for conference so that is amazing.

How was the women’s conference thing?? I will have to go after my mission and just hang outside haha you know to hit on du ladies and stuff bahahaha, man am I evil. Just kidding!!  That is crazy that you had snow but probably good, you need the moisture.

No plans for the temple yet, but we will probably go here soon, and yes it would be Kentucky unless someone from somewhere else invites me

Well this week has been great, transfers were a curve ball that is for sure, and I really like Elder Markwarad he is from Washington. Well I do not have much time to email so I will talk a little about my feelings of transfers and such. First off, I have really learned about the will of God and also how he will do whatever he can for the people and me. Coming back to Cumberland has brought back many memories of great times, and funny stories. Another thing, it has helped me realize that Heavenly Father needs me here on the mission and even more specifically in certain areas for certain purposes.  After this transfer I will hit 9 months in this area, but I know without a doubt that I would not be here if it wasn't for a specific reason.  Maybe it’s to be with this certain companion, or maybe to help strengthen some Converts or some new people searching for the gospel, whatever it may be I will continue to do my best to try and fulfill his will and be the best I can. I know the Lord and my Father in Heaven love me so much, and the people here, to bring me back once again to the area, I cannot express enough how much this has been on my mind that I am definitely here back in Cumberland for a reason.  Although I may not know what it is, I will do my best to complete it. Also, with all the pondering and reflection it has caused a lot of remembrance and yet excitement for the future. Overall I am excited and grateful to be back and we will see what the future holds for me as a missionary.  By the way this is extremely rare and usually never ever happens!

Well Mom I love you so much and I can't wait to hear from you all again soon. Oh also one last story before I end, so I was talking with Sister Diaz, which they have been coming back to church for about 5 weeks now, and she was telling me again how much I have changed her family for the better.  In fact her mother and one of her sisters have been baptized because of their influence, and the spirit of this Gospel.  It has strengthened my testimony so much of the divinity of the work and the power of my calling as a missionary.  Anyway I love you all so much and hope everything continues to go amazing! Also I hope to hear from you soon.

Love, tu hijo, Elder Paxman