I felt like I ate a Cactus!

Elder Paxman and Elder Blood on exchanges

This picture shared to me by Elder Bloods mom via facebook.

Dear Mom,

You have snow on the mountains? I do love the mountains when they have snow on them; they look just amazing when they do. Although I prefer no snow, so I can go hike in them a lot easier. This week I am doing... Well I’m hanging in there, let’s go with that. Ha ha.

I heard that Indy had snow one day last week.  Did you get snow down where you are or just rain?  Are you keeping warm? We did get snow on Halloween night and I am staying warm for the most part. We have only had a few days of bitter cold, but we are getting more as the days go on.  I will get a blanket sometime; it is not on my priority list though.

I received a picture of you and Elder Blood. Did you guys have exchanges recently and in what town was the picture taken? Didn’t he come out with you just 6 weeks ago? He did come out the same time I arrived, and he is Elder Rowberry's greenie. I really like him; he is a good kid, with a good heart. We were on exchanges in Columbus and that picture was taken about oh three weeks ago or so.

I taught my first lesson to the Sunbeams this past Sunday, it was about music and the way it can make us feel.  I gave them all kazoos, harmonicas and little flutes to play.  Bribery works.  It is true the amazing influence that music has on each of us. Speaking of which where is that CD? I am bored with the CD's I have. Anyway, hahahaha man crazy kids, the parents probably didn't like you very much for giving the little monsters a bunch of loud noise making objects haha. But hey as long as you don't have to hear it right?!? Totally joking. (I did not refer to them as monsters, that is just Ben talking)

Every week I check Facebook and give him updates on his friends lives. Bro. Smiley I love that man, I bet his Facebook posts are just a riot and a half. At least Bro. Smiley is still staying on point with all the new social hub-bub. I knew about Tyler that started to develop right before I left. Summer is getting married!!!!!!! Freak Mom!! They are dropping like flies.  That is tons of excitement, I remember the last time I saw Christina it was in the MTC actually and she hardly even recognized me, mainly because of the new height and weight thing. Now I probably look even more different, seeing as I don't have the chunky squirrel cheeks anymore!! I give her till the time I get back and she will be married. So that is what 8 months. Joel does come home in December; I still do keep in close contact with him, usually once every other week if not every week. Cameron is every week, Trenton is usually every week, and my companion from the MTC Elder Johnston is every week as well. So yea I still keep in contact with a lot of the old buds. We are already planning a time for what we call. "Story time with the Bros" Or in other words where we just all sit around and B.S. and have a good time. (Is it bad that a missionary includes B.S. in his email..... Ah ni modo).

How was your weight at your appointment?  Your blood tests were sent to me, your Iron is still low, your platelets still high.  Sounds good with Doc. Flynn I am still taking Oral Iron, which doesn't bother me one bit.  My weight was 165 so it has gone up a little since I have been out here, I think because of my awesome muscles hahahaha, not really but hey one can dream. I will keep eating, don't worry.

So you did get Colton's bike?  Have you had it since transfers?  How is it working for you? What did you do with your bike?  Will you continue to ride a bike in the snow as long as you are in Seymour?  I got Elder Hjelms bike and we just talked for a brief second, and I think you are paying his mom, he said that the moms were working it out, and I said sounds great to me. I have had it since transfers and it is really nice to have. It makes biking not as much of a pain, we will probably still bike or walk in the winter so that will be interesting.   I still have the old bike and it will sit there or in a dumpster till a time and a place when it is needed haha.

Your prayers are more appreciated than many people realize, I can feel it as a tether that keeps me above water in the moments of darkness. I have always found it best to just jump in and get to work, but maybe for others it needs to be different.   I will elaborate how the work is going for me later on.

I did get your package and it was awesome thanks mom! I did realize that one was for my companion and I did see your little note scribbled on the side of it. I really liked all that was in the package.  Thank Nancy Thoreson for the banners they are awesome!!  I loved the food, everything thanks for that mom. The cologne did survive and it was much needed thank you.

(added after his mission was complete)  Elder Paxman's greenie at this time really struggled and we omitted all of the information from his blog, I'm now adding it so it will be in the printed version.

Well Elder Seegmillers parents worries might become reality, for a few different reasons, one some stuff might need to be fixed for him to function as a worthy full time missionary, and we are working on that stuff. Another is he is really down a lot of the time because of that whole issue. Things are getting better, but some of the work has had to take a hit, so I can try to address personal needs more. I do not know if talking with his family helped at all, I sure hope it did. It went well with President I think it was just for him, so they are working things out, we have some other meetings for him today too, so we will see how things go. The plan of attack is wait and see. Other than that I am not too sure. I feel like him and I get along really well, I hope I have helped him in these hard times. I want you to do something for me though if you can. It is asking a lot and I hope it is not over stepping bounds. I would like you to get his mothers number and call her for me, or reach out somehow. Whether just you or Dad and you it does not matter. I want you to just talk to them, imagine if I was struggling greatly in the mission and if someone were to call you. They need just as much help as he does in this situation, because even if this does go south I want both him and his family to know, that there are some people not far off who are here to help. I know it is asking a lot of you, but if you could do that for me I would be forever grateful. She is even welcome to email me if she wishes. Just be friends to them if you could. The example that comes to my mind is when I came home, I never asked what it was like for you or Dad in the process, but Aunt Deb, and some others told me a little bit about it. I really want to help him and his family, even if it turns out that he does not stay, I want them to know that I will not leave him hopeless or abandoned. So please if you could do that it would be great. Your prayers are more appreciated than many people realize, I can feel it as a tether that keeps me above water in the moments of darkness. He seems to be doing better, maybe because I have slacked off on the driving force of the work. I always found it best to just jump, but maybe for him it will be different. I can get him out to do the work the problem is he feels sick doing it, and that it just puts him in this mood as if someone just smacked super hard and is making him feel guilty. 

How is the work?  How are your investigators, especially Bertin? The work: So we have no new investigators and this week was really slow. One, because I got sick twice! From the same stinking restaurant, so I will not be going there anymore. It’s called El Nopal or the cactus in English and it was like I ate a freaking cactus with all the spikes on and everything, it was awful!! It was even bothering my companion. We pretty much tract to find people and sometimes PC, but it is very rare that we do that. Lessons, number wise was really small, Bertin is coming along slowly but surely, he should be coming with us to church again this Sunday, which will be great for him. He is so close I can just feel it; I am just not sure what we need to teach to get him to just fall off the fence so to speak.  I have a few funny experiences I want to share, but they are kind of long and I am running low on time so I will share some another time, also they probably aren't as funny in English...?

Okay, now the spiritual thought I want to share, and how I am doing go hand in hand. Honestly mom, at times I feel like just rolling into a ball and rocking myself to sleep. It takes a lot out of me when I see investigators and others struggle. I always seem to feel like I have not done enough... like I can never do enough. Overall these events of recent have really gone toe to toe so to speak with my emotions and spiritual well-being. I love this mission with everything I have, if that has not been blatantly clear, then I do not know how else I can say it. I have fought for it many a times and I will fight again. This week we had a pretty in depth discussion. The central idea was this. "How do you know that God loves you?" As this question was asked to me, I at first did not know quite what to say, all I knew is that he does and I could not deny it. I remember trying to tell people what it feels like to feel his love, but never being able to come up with just the right words.  I pondered back on moments in my life where events transpired to the point where I was either alone or in the hospital or really sick or whatever it was. Several thoughts raced into my mind. One was of an experience I have told no one about.  I feel it appropriate to share at this moment a little bit of those thoughts.  I of course will still not disclose all of the experience though. It was the day I came home from the mission, I tell people about that day, but always leave out the part of getting off the plane in SLC.   I was walking through the concourse and nearing the area where I come to the escalators to see my family waiting, those who you have waited so long to see.   I stopped in the hallway that has windows on one side and the little moving walkway and pictures on the other. I just looked outside and thought to myself... "So what is the purpose behind all of this? What is everyone going to think? Am I going to still be able to stay strong in the gospel? How long till I recover fully? As well as many other questions. I remember I hadn't even said a "prayer" so to speak, besides the one I try to carry in my heart always. But I had this kind of gradual sense as if someone was standing beside me supporting me, looking out the window with me.  It was so real, I looked to see if anyone was there, and there was not. I remember almost an audible voice yet not, almost as if someone was placing thoughts into my heart and then kind of giving me a nudge in the right direction. That feeling, to this day rings in my heart as well as many others. I remember looking back out the window and seeing the mountains and everything I had given up to serve, I almost didn't want it; I almost wanted to go back to the flat lands of Indiana. Those thoughts were swept away in an instant and I had the feeling that “this is where you are needed... This is where you belong at this time in your life." I then looked at where I knew my family would be waiting and walked on, while putting a huge smile on my face. I do not know if I have ever felt as alone as I did in that moment, even though there were streams of people around me. It didn't even matter, the feelings I felt in that airport that day are a living testament to me that God loves me and all of his children. Even and maybe especially when we feel abandoned or alone in this home away from home we call earth. Everyone can feel of His love if they but seek it out. I don't know if in the airport I was seeking it out, but it sure did find me in the moment when I needed it most. I knew I was where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. Now even though I am back on the mission, I know as much as I have ever known that going home was what was needed at that time in my life, I don't know why, and I may never know exactly why. Heck there could be a thousand different reasons, but I am indeed forever grateful that I was needed elsewhere than the mission field at that time in my life. I have grown stronger because of it. The Lord and our Father in Heaven work in often mysterious ways. Unto which small things in the sight of man bring to pass mighty things. Who knows maybe one day I will look back and be able to see why I went home or at least one of the reasons.  (Fingers crossed to meeting a hot wife in the mission!! Ha ha Just kidding.  Just lightening things up.) But not knowing is also some of the surprise I think. Anyway I have probably rambled a little.

Well Mom I love you so much and I hope that everything goes well for you and the family back at home. My prayers are often with you. I am excited to hear about the next weeks adventures, and hopefully this letter was needed by someone. Well I love you and I can't wait for the CD and the day when I get to see all of your smiling faces again. (Well actually, I can wait for a nice long 8 months ;))  Love you all and have a great week.

Love, Elder Paxman

When Push Comes to Shove

 Elder Paxman at transfers last Wednesday

Elder Paxman and his new greenie Elder S.

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good Mom, at least for the most part. I am indeed a trainer. It has been a week of lots of learning and growing for me and I believe and hope for my companion as well.  His name is Quintin Seegmiller. (I think that is how you spell it) He is from Syracuse Utah and he is 18! I really like him, he is a good kid.  I definitely think we get along well and have things in common.

I hope I can be a good trainer for him and help him along the path to eternal life. The new schedule now that I am a trainer is mainly just 2 hours of comp study a day instead of 1. We will work on the Spanish when that time comes, as of right now we have a little more pressing matters haha. His Spanish is actually pretty good! He is good at speaking he struggles to understand, but for the most part he is doing very well with his Spanish especially at his age in the mission. My Spanish is improving daily it seems it is pretty good I feel.  I have really tried to be open to any ideas he has and to help encourage him to speak the language well. I hope I have been a good trainer... It makes me think of all the times in my life I have felt inadequate, which there have been oh so many, as I am sure there is in everyone's life. We just want to show people we can do things too and we are worth the effort, and almost every time this feeling has occurred, the Lord has brought me through it, and I have seen Him bring many others through it as well. So I know he will help us if we simply let him. Thanks for all of the advice mom, every little bit helps, and all of the prayers for all of us as missionaries are much appreciated. 8/  I hope I can live up to everyone's expectations... I really want to be the best I possibly can for him and for the Lord. It breaks my heart to see those I love and have come to love struggle. I have been blessed to be able to Love him at least a fraction the way the Savior does.

 The work has been going good, the last few days we have found a few new people and taught quite a few people. We usually spend at least 5-6 hours tracting or teaching a day.   Everyone is doing pretty good, Bertin is still struggling with getting an answer. Mom I wish to take a moment to say how much I love that young man, he has become a dear friend of mine and another person whom I hope to see enter the waters of Baptism and continue in this Gospel.  He is an amazing person, and I hope you get to meet him one day. Thank you again for all the prayers I think often times I forget that behind each missionary are around a billion other people on all sides of the veil, rooting and cheering them on. I know I have felt the closeness of many people who are far from me in my dark moments, whether on this or the other side of the veil.

That is awesome about the area 70 and the Stake Conference.  I hope to be able to keep in contact with many of those whom I have touched and have touched me spiritually for many many years. I will have to read that scripture and see if I can put the emphasis on it as well. So as far as the music goes, did you put together a CD, with all the songs I mentioned on it?? If not if you could do so, that would be awesome! And it is alright if not. I got both the letter and the postcard so we are in business as far as me receiving mail at the residence goes.  I am way looking forward to the package!! Thanks mom for putting those together for me! I will definitely check the mail for the package.

As far as Halloween goes we have not done anything fun really. It isn't as big of a holiday for us missionaries as Christmas or Easter. We just had the party this last week.

I have already bought the Halloween candy and put it in the bowl and Daddy keeps trying to snitch butterfingers out of it.  I might have to hide it.  Hahahahaha Hey I would be doing the same if I was home! I love Butterfingers so much; they are probably the best candy in the world!

How is your weather?  Has it cooled down at all?  Are you wearing sweaters yet?  

I have worn a sweater a few times, but not many. It is still pretty much the same as far as weather goes here. I am expecting the temperature to drop here soon.

At transfer meeting did Elder Hjelm happen to mention if he would be done with his bike or not?  His mom said she would remind him that you want to buy it from him.  Does your companion have a bike or did he have to buy one when he got to Indy?  Yea so he gave me his bike and stuff so we are good on that front. Plus it has been super nice riding his bike; also it has been nice because I think the other one is just about dead haha. My companion bought one online that was there when we got his luggage and stuff. So that was nice.

Have you bought a blanket yet? I don't have a blanket yet, I have not needed one, I actually have been hot at nights sometimes. I am still not sure if I am not a vampire or something!  haha.

Did you get to see any Elders you hadn't seen yet while you were at Transfers?  Yes I got to see Elder H. and a few others like Elder Duve and such. It was awesome to see them! I missed those guys a lot haha. I also will go home now with Elder Van Haren haha.

Did you have your blood drawn?!?  You are two weeks overdue. Yes I had my blood drawn and I have not yet received the results or anything, so I will let you know how all of that went, when I find out.

That cat mom she is an evil creature.... I have said it once and I will say it again, I am pretty sure she is like a fourth demon spawn.

I told him I loved the picture that the Diaz family had shared with us because the joy on his face is so awesome. I am glad you liked those pictures I miss that family, they are awesome and I love them. It was a great blessing to see them. (See picture below)

Okay so now for the spiritual story part of the letter. So I have felt in my life as I am sure you all have moments of weakness. Now it isn't so bad when we have those moments in solitude or a room at night or in the mountains or wherever, but when it is in the presence of those we love respect or cherish, I feel as if it becomes almost a disgrace. I do not know entirely why this is, but for me one of the reasons is because I feel as though I need to be strong for those around me. As well as I do not wish to appear weak and vulnerable to those around me. I have come to discover throughout my life as a result of certain events that being weak is not entirely a bad thing. We are weak because we are imperfect, and that is okay. True strength comes when we realize that we are weak and are willing to rely on others for strength in those moments of need. The Lord gives us an example of this, which I never saw it this way until a few days ago. In the Garden of Gethsemane the Lord asks the Father if there be some other way, and in a sense, asks for help during this time in his ministry. As a result an Angel is sent to comfort him, and give him the much needed aid, so that the Savior of the world could perform the very act that would save and indeed exalt many of His Fathers children. Now I am not saying the Savior was weak or had faults, for he was perfect, but I believe we can use this as an example in our lives that it is okay to struggle and wish for a different way. But when push comes to shove, are we willing to bite down and bear through the pain? Are we willing to swallow our pride and admit we need some help? For when we do this is when Heavenly aid can step in and give us that much needed help. These are just some of my thoughts from studies, probably not Doctrine or anything, but just some thoughts from pondering of mine. 

Well Mom I love you so much and hope that you can have an amazing week! I hope all goes well for Halloween and that you will have a fun holiday. If you could pray, especially for me and my companion I would be eternally grateful. Anyway I love you and hope to hear about all the fun next week!

Love, Elder Paxman

I love this picture of Elder Paxman and his reunion with the Diaz family.  Sister Diaz captured this picture and I love it because of the pure joy on my sons face.  He just loves this family.

"Be Still and know that I am God"

 Elder Paxman, Elder Rowberry, Elder G
 and the Diaz Family.  These pictures were sent to us by Sister Diaz
via facebook.

Elder Paxman LOVES this family!

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good Mom, although first off this week’s letter might be a tad shorter, because of transfers.

So Transfers are this week and I know transfer calls go out on Sunday so you must know if you are getting transferred and where you will be.  What's the news?  So the news with that... I am staying in Seymour and Elder Golledge is leaving. Oh and something else...... I am getting a GREENIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My first Trainee, it is crazy I am way nervous.....

On our family Vacation we ate at a place he loves called Family Tree in Santaquin.  We saw tons of scarecrows in Scipio and Torrey Utah. We did some antique shopping and we drove on the Hog’s Spine, a road that is the devil of scary. I love those scones and we will need to go there when I come back, which by the way I finally received my official release date! June 30th!! So my mission overall actually got extended!! It’s awesome! Antique stores, they are really fun to go around and look in. That one sounds really cool though. Scarecrows, I am surprised you didn't freak out thinking of Supernatural!!  hahahaha There are a few scarecrows out here.  I got a good laugh of the pictograph poses. Bailee and Kyle look more Asian, Brooklyn looks like she was a bug nailed on a windshield and dad and Egyptian; so I laughed about that one. Dad was probably goofing around like we would usually do before the pictures hahaha. Ba ha ha.. Oh mom you and heights. Dad and I will have to take the Bikes on that ride!! And the family can follow behind in the Van or something. (He is referring to my fear of the scary road)

The pictograph Picture we took

It sounds like an amazing trip I am way jealous and we will definitely have to go when I get back!! While staying at Ruby’s Inn we visited with a missionary who served in Indiana with Ben. ELDER SYRETT!! I love that kid! I am glad you got to talk to him, I really like him. I also know Elder Brinkerhoff he is a cool Elder too, I do not know him as well though.

On Sunday the Diaz family who Ben and Elder Hjelm converted and baptized almost a year ago sent me pictures taken with him at church.  However, they live an hour away from where he is currently serving.  So I was surprised to see the pictures. I asked him if he knew they were coming or if they surprised him. I was surprised by the Diaz family so it was amazing to see them! They are like family to me, like a goofy aunt and Uncle and two awesome cousins. I am excited for the day when you get to meet them. I didn't get to chat with them long, because, we were getting ready for church and had a few meetings before I saw them. So it was more rushed than I would have liked, but oh well. They gave me some food, and stuff, which was so nice of them. It was just so amazing to see them!!! I love them so much! The members really enjoyed that they came as well, because they stayed for the first hour, which ironically enough I was giving a talk that week. A surprise one at that! The night before church the speakers fell through and so Elder Golledge and I had to prepare them with only like 2 hours total prep time. But a lot of people liked it so I think it went well.

How is the work?  How are your investigators? The work has been much the same. Magdalena a lady we have been teaching only recently, came to church, but it was a weird Sunday because of meetings and stuff so I hope she liked it. We should get to see her again on Tuesday, so hopefully all goes well there.  B. is struggling at the moment, but not in too bad of a way. So I ask all to pray for him!! He is trying to decide which church he should be baptized into, ours or the Evangelical church. He believes in the Book of Mormon, but he wants to know he is doing the right thing. So please pray that he may get the answer from God that this is where he needs to be.  Gods only true church on the earth, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

Alex told me about his new job so I am excited for him. How did the Dinner go with Aunt Brenda and family? What do you think of the new boyfriend? How is Parker treating Rachel? I am glad she likes him. He seems to be a good kid. Don't forget the music list that I sent you a few weeks back in the email. I want that music sooner than later :) thanks mommy.

Okay now like I said this letter is going to be a little shorter. But could I first ask a favor of you. I need you to put my name in the temple this week. Not for anything grave, but just to help me to know how to best train this new missionary, and that both he and I can be edified in doing the work. It would mean a lot to me if you could do that. I am nervous for this calling so to speak. I know the Lord qualifies us for our callings and is always there to help us, but I would still really appreciate it.

Okay story time, so like I said about Bertin He is having a hard time right now trying to decide and more than this get an answer. We were teaching him, and I had already told him, and testified, and done all I felt I could. I feel as though this happens many times throughout our lives, we reach a point where we feel we have done all we can, it may not be the same circumstance, but it is still the same. We do all we can to help influence those around us, but there comes a point when we have nothing left to offer, we are all out of ammo so to speak. So we were talking, and I just remember saying a few words that I had left. I remember saying something similar to... You know Bertin, we have taught you many things over the last few weeks, but all we have taught you, and will teach you, will mean nothing if you do not take it into your heart, and strive in believing them to be true. He knew as I did in that moment, that I was speaking the truth and that WE were and are Representatives of God. I had been pondering the last few days in some moments of hardship, questioning if I had made the right choice in returning to the mission, and if so how will I know it. Because as far as everything else had gone, with frustrations, teaching very little, not having much success and feeling like I was drowning. I remember asking God this question deep in my heart; of did I do the right thing. And when I taught B that simple truth and felt Gods love for him and the Spirit of the Lord in abundance there was no doubt in my mind that I made the right choice. Yes things will still be hard at times, and yes I have much to learn, but I know just as I knew back the first time that I am called of God, as his Servant and Friend in helping bring to pass "the immortality and eternal life of man"!!! I know it and I know God knows it and that he wants me to be happy and be proud of the decisions I made. That is the advice or spiritual message I have had this week. We must when all things seem dark, push forward and know that we have made the right decisions, for if we have, God will be there to greet us on the other side. We will know without a doubt that we served him the way we should have, and we will never be disappointed in the decisions we make, if God is involved in the making of it. So yep this week was really hard and great at the same time. Now, look forward to the next day and the next Dawn and the next challenging horizon.

Well I love you so much and hope that everything goes great this coming week.  I hope that you enjoy your calling, for it is of God, if you have felt it, and even if you haven't, trust in his servants and move forward knowing and following his council. "Be still and know that I am God".

Love, Elder Paxman

The Amazing Miracle of Forgiveness

Picture of Spanish Training taken from Touch All The Lines, Indiana Mission Facebook page

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good for the most part!

How did the lesson you had to teach at Zone Conference go? Where was zone conference?  Is this something that President Cleveland comes to?  I will talk more about the training in Zone meeting near the end.  But the training went really well! I do feel that it was well received by some in the Zone. Zone meetings President Cleveland does not attend, and it was in Columbus.

Responses to news from home: That is awesome that you are on fall break for 2 weeks you lucky dogs haha. The family vacation you have planned sounds way fun!! You should see if you can find Elder Syrett and or his family!! He would freak out if he knew who you were!! I would too!!!  You bowled a 218, holy cow mom that is really good! I am glad you enjoyed the motorcycle ride with Dad, that way when I get back we can all go on some fun rides! That is a pretty cool story with the car! I am glad you listened to the spirit, so that the story ended in a good way. I love Bro. Smiley he is an awesome guy!

Where did you see meet the Mormons?  We saw it and my favorite stories were the ones about the Candy Bomber and the Mother, but I liked them all.  Did you have a favorite? We saw it both times as part of training, it was awesome. I really liked the Candy Bomber and the Fighter and really all of them!! I really liked the whole thing! Spanish Elders saw it first at our specialized training.  We were the first people to see it in all of Indiana!! We watched it in the church.

Transfers are next week do you think you will be transferred? For transfers it is probably about a 40/60 chance of leaving or staying so I am not really sure. It is crazy that I have been out almost an entire transfer; it blows my mind all the time!!

How are your investigators?  Bertin, Carlos and Freddie?  Any news on them?  How about success in finding any others?  You would think that opening a new area; you will be able to tract out many people.  Do you feel like you have covered much of the new area yet?  How is mission life going overall? So we got a total of 6 lessons this week...... Not ideal at all. I learned a lot this week. That is for sure. As far as finding more investigators, very slow because of some different reasons which I will not really go into.... :(  Freddie has fallen off the face of the earth, we can't find him. Carlos is still progressing, but just super slowly because of his very little understanding. Bertin is doing well, our main struggle with him, is committing to baptism. He is so close, but just not quite there yet... It drives me insane because I know of the happiness the Gospel can bring him, and those around him. I don't feel like we have covered much of the area, a chunk, but not a ton of it. As far as the work goes overall, it is slow for some certain reasons that make me very angry so they will not be discussed. I really like my companion.

Mom this letter is probably going to be shorter than usual because of the holiday so I am sorry. So now about the training. I taught my lesson last, and it was supposed to be something motivational, but the more I prayed and studied the more it came out kind of harsh...  I really put a lot of work into it all, and when it came time to give it I just went for it. So I started off by telling them that this is going to be a very personal training and not on how to do things with those around you, but on how to better yourself. I read a scripture in Alma that is very strong talking about how we are all guilty according to thoughts and actions and such and how we all must come to a realization of this, either now or before the Lord at the Last Day. So after that I said for this training to have any impact you cannot to yourself, and most importantly the Lord. I then went on to share some stories of my life and principles I have learned. One story I shared was the one about the baby duckling I brought home when I was really young. I don't even know if you remember the story, how Dad told me that I had done something very bad because the mother would now never take it back. I then later saw when I took it back how the mother ignored it, all because of something I had done. So I related this to how all of our actions have consequences no matter how big or small. Everything has an effect, kind of like the ripple on the water. I shared how we needed to be better not only in how we teach, but as in who we are. I shared with them ways that I had experienced this in my life. I shared a letter from Dad that I hold very dear which caused several in the Zone to cry... Including me, because I had not read it in a very long time. I told them how if we expect to be servants and representatives of the Lord we needed to be striving to be better than we now are. I told them that all things are possible if we are but diligent, and obedient. I have seen it in my mission, there are many other things we must do to invoke the blessings of Heaven as well, but if you start there, the others will follow as you continue to push forward with that steadfastness in Christ. I told them how they will never know the full value the badge they carry on their chest until that day when it is no longer there. I promised them many blessings if they improve themselves and truly commit themselves to the work. I had them do a commitment similar to the one the Stake President gave me when I came home, with the notecard.  I told them to take a note card and write down 5 goals and things you want to accomplish in this next transfer, and not like have 10 baptisms, but ways to improve yourself. I feel it went well.

Okay now for another story of the mission. So this week in the mission has been very hard.  As the week went on and my Patience continued to go down farther and farther, I not only noticed a decline in the work, but a decline in myself. Then one day I felt this feeling, and I will never forget it. It was along the lines of Christ’s discourse on the beam in one’s own eye. It hit me very hard, because to me my issues were because of things and people around me and how they had been affecting me. So I continued to ponder on that. I saw that yes because of the actions of others the area was struggling but that I was not helping it in any way by feeling negative and angry!  I got humbly to my knees one night when my companion had gone to sleep and asked for forgiveness and the spirit of forgiveness that I may forgive.  I felt the Lord's love for them and many others in that moment. I felt the amazing miracle of Forgiveness not for myself, but for others, which also helped me feel forgiven of my own sins and short comings, which there are many of. I learned as we were taught in Conference, that we are to love others as the Savior would, which is even more than I can imagine.  I feel as though I have been blessed to see a portion of the Saviors love in a time when I needed it. Yes things are still hard and at times I still get frustrated, but I know now that I must be better, follow the lesson I had given at zone conference.  It was a week where I learned a lot.

Well I love you so very much and hope that everything goes great for you this week!! I hope the vacation is fun and all goes well. I love you all and my prayers are with you daily. I hope to hear from you soon!

Love, Elder Paxman

Pushing a mission vehicle

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty great things have definitely been crazy here!! 

Good job bowling a 204, wow that's a good game. It scares me that Brooklyn is driving all the time, makes me nervous haha.

I have been thinking about some things, how we deal with family and friends and decided, I feel it is important we let those people around us know what we believe in, but it is not our duty to tell them they are wrong or judge them, when they are trying their best.  We must love them as the Savior does, which means if necessary we must be willing to go to Calvary and back for them. (Deep thought I know). I know that if we treat these tender situations with care and have the spirit with us, so it may be with those we care about when they are in our presence, through our example they can come to the knowledge that Jesus is the Christ and that this is his one true church, and they will wish to live by its laws, but we must be wise and prayerful in all things.

(I shared with him that I made homemade soup, rolls and a new pumpkin desert that tastes similar to pumpkin pie for conference Sunday)So now you make the really good stuff once I am gone... Okay I see how it is. I don’t mind pumpkin pie it is quite good, so I would probably like that desert.

What were a few of your favorite talks?  Where did you watch Conference on Saturday and on Sunday?  Did you get any good food involved with Conference?  Did any investigators go to Conference?  I really enjoyed every talk; there was not one talk that I did not write something down for. Some of my favorite talks were by Elder Robbins, Elder Eyring, Elder Klebingat, and Elder Monson's in the Priesthood session.  Both Bertin and Carlos came to conference for at least one of the sessions so that was amazing.

(I told him that we heard his Cousin Elder White had been assigned to an area called Sepota, Chuck.  He is in the Micronesia Guam missioin.  I told him that he told his parents he would be living in a hut, sleeping on a yoga mat with no electricity, no running water and no toilets.  And that he would not have access to email and his parents would receive a hand written letter from him once a month when he goes to a bigger island for zone conference. His parents feel like it is straight out of the movie The Other Side of Heaven.) That would be super fun to be there with Nick!!  I think that is a crazy awesome adventure, I am a little jealous. I do remember that movie.

Speaking of Movies, I got to see Meet the Mormons!! It is an awesome movie we watched it at the specialized Spanish training.

I hear you Seymour Elders are so far out you are exiled and that no one expected you to be successful in getting your investigators to chuch because they have to drive so far.  But, you have had investigators to church every week.  Hahahaha yep that's us Seymour Elders for you, doing the impossible one step at a time. Just following the Master.

Who is the Drew you mentioned hearing from last week? This is Drew Hunt! So it was amazing to hear from him.

Have you met any new people?  Do have much reason to meet up with the sisters in your area?  Are they in a car or are they on bikes as well?  How far do the sisters live from you?  Is there an English ward or branch in Seymour?  If so do the sisters get fed often?  Have you had any meals lately? How are your investigators doing? B is doing well, he is trying to get work off to come to Church with us, and he is reading and progressing.  We are having trouble putting him on a date for baptism though because of some family things. Carlos is scheduled to be baptized on the first of November, and Freddie is doing well.  We have met a few new people, but as of now, none are really progressing. We don’t interact with the sisters too much, we sometimes eat with the sisters, or see them around. They have a full time car as do ALL sisters in my mission..... no comment..... The sisters get fed very often; they live about a 5 to 10 min walk from our house. There is a ward in North Vernon that all of the English members in Seymour attend.

How was Spanish training?  Did you enjoy it?  What was it like?  How was it seeing Elder Hjelm. again? Do Elders even hug each other?  Yes mom Elders hug, probably a little too much actually. Ha ha! It was awesome to see Elder Hjelm again, he was really busy because he was partially in charge of the training meeting. The meeting was awesome and we learned a lot, and like I said we got to watch Meet the Mormons, which was a super good movie.

Did you get your packages? Sorry your Butterfingers were opened, daddy had one and I had one.  I did get my two packages and I am very grateful for them. I loved the fruit roll-ups they were super good, and nice to have. The butterfingers made it and were very good. I assumed they were taken out for dad haha. The weather has been good, this weekend it dropped to the 50's but is coming back up into the 70's and 60's this week. I have not needed my coat or the sweaters; I handle the cold pretty well surprisingly. I have had to use my rain jacket only twice.

Have you heard from any of your other missionary friends?  Like your MTC companion Elder Johnston, Trenton, or Joel or anyone.  Do you get many emails each week, if so who writes besides me, Bailee and daddy? I have heard from all of my friends since being back, and I usually average 11 to 12 emails a week. Also I am in constant contact with Elder Johnston my companion in the MTC.

It is almost getting time for you to have your blood drawn.  I will research a place for you to do that and send you the info either in a mailed letter this week or in next week’s email. :)  You should probably have it drawn next week.  Yea get me all the paper work and everything. Sister Steadman is actually in the process of doing all that stuff. I really like her a lot; she gave me a hug the first day back in the mission in front of all the sisters. Then she proceeded to lecture me about things like weight, diet and such in front of all the new sisters. So not only did I break a mission rule by being hugged by a female in front of them, but then was humiliated in front of them by Sister Steadman. I love her, she is like a goofy Aunt.

Ok so first I have a request, I need more music, I have every song of the Work memorized and can harmonize with them now... It’s kind of sad. Okay stories and such. First off Elder Rowberry and I, whenever we are together interesting things happen, like this week. I pushed the mission vehicle for over a mile so we could get to an appointment and still have the miles to drive the car home. Crazy stuff, and it happens whenever he and I are together.  It is pretty great!!

Excerpt from Elder Rowberry’s email this week, shared to me by his sweet mom, telling the same story:

Dear Family and Friends,

I have come to the realization that Elder Paxman and I should avoid each other at all costs. Too many ridiculous things happen when we're together. (Elder Rowberry’s way of saying they are having a good time)

On the last day of the month, we had District Meeting and I decided to go on exchanges afterward. And all was going well until we realized that we were nearly out of miles. We had appointments to go to and had no way to get there. I thought that I had budgeted everything out sufficiently, but I suppose things must have come up and there weren't enough miles.

So, we did what we had to do. Our appointment was 7.2 miles roundtrip, and we only had 7 miles left. So, we threw the car into neutral and we pushed it for about a mile. (A little more than we needed to, but we wanted to make sure that we were covered.) Elder Paxman and I had a blast pushing it, and it turned out to be a spiritually uplifting experience.

However, it was really awkward as we pushed the car past bystanders. "Do you guys need a jump? Some gas?" At first we tried to explain the whole limited mileage situation, but it was so bizarre and long to explain that we eventually resorted to, "Nope, we're just doing this for fun!" But, I'm grateful to know that there are still good people in the world who would offer their help.

We made it to the lesson. The lesson went phenomenally well, and we came in under our mileage allotment.

Now a story from Conference. First though, sorry this is really sporadic and badly written I have very little time, but did not want to cut down on the length of my letter to you. So it was the first session in General Conference and a Seventy gets up to speak, Elder Robbins. He gets up and as he is giving the talk and I felt like he was speaking directly to me.  He rebukes me and calls me to repentance through the Spirit of the Lord...  I learned that I had not been facing the right direction, I have been so worried about pleasing those around me that I had forgotten about the reason I am out here and Who I am serving. It was a very humbling moment for me... Although very enlightening, as it gave me the tools, strength, and inspiration to change how I act and who I am to be a better servant of God. Many of us, I believe suffer from this same thing. We are not facing the right way. We worry about what others will think more than what God will think, which will almost undoubtedly cause us trouble in the long run. Remember that the Lords way is always the best way. I learned that I need to stop fearing those around me and be the servant of God I am meant to be, not just who people want me to be. So that was one of the greatest lessons I learned from Conference this week. One more thing, this week on Friday I have to give a 20 minute training in front of the whole ZONE!! I am freaking out a little yet feel as though I can do it with the help of the Lord. It is going to be on "How to motivate the Zone to be better servants of the Lord, or how to help them be motivated to continue to be good servants. Sadly I have felt the impression to follow the first. I will be needing the Spirit in such an abundance so that it may carry the message that I share to the hearts of those listening, As well as to my mind as I research this subject. So this interested me. What inspires us to act? Now many people would say, well a Love of God, or something along those lines. All though that is great, I know that, that is not all true! Do not tell me those primary answers.  We are all motivated by different things. One should always be the Love of God, but I see many other things as well, but people are just afraid to admit that they are weak or many other things. This is what is going to be hard in this training, because I cannot inspire someone unto greatness, only they themselves can change to be the person they want, and need to be. And so with it Inspire and motivate themselves every day. I know it is hard, I have seen in my life being motivated by fear, lust, pride, duty. Many things, some are even good, but are they the best. So I ask your help this week and all those who might read my blog, if they want to participate. One, I need your prayers to be able to give a spiritually powerful training, second I need your input. What have you seen inspire you to be better? Anything it can be absolutely anything. If you are not sure, stop and think "Why am I doing this? What is my motivation behind it? Is it what God wants me to do?" And many other questions like unto these. Any feedback is awesome!!  Plus searching deep in oneself, we often find the deepest yearnings of our soul, and what we desire most. If it is good keep it, if not throw it out and change, repent and be better as I had to. So if you could do that for me it would be great. I can promise that blessings will come as we are motivated by righteous things to act in accordance with Gods will. If we are not than we are all invited to change by the Great Healer even Jesus Christ, I have felt this as of late, it is humbling and a little hard, but the feeling of being better and closer to God will triumph any of those other feelings, I know it because I have felt it. So there is my challenge and my plea. If you could help that would be amazing!

Well I love you so very much Mom and all. I hope everything is going well for you at home and that you aren't too sore from resuming the duty of Mowing the Lawn, remember he mowed it first hahaha (okay maybe I shouldn't say that, it sounds like sacrilege). Anyway I love you and hope to hear from you next week or sooner, if you wish, so that I can have your thoughts by the time I train on Friday, so by Thursday!

With much Love, Elder Paxman

PS. Pushing a mission vehicle is not my idea of having a full time car..... hahaha Love you! 

Smelling like mothballs is not kosher....

 Picture of Mission Conference taken from Indiana, Indianapolis mission Facebook page

Elder Paxman is the fourth from the Right.

A picture of the apartment he is living in via my google search.

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty great mommy!

We have had a ton of Rain. How has our weather been? Has it started to get cold yet?  Or is it still quite hot and humid? Lucky, we haven’t had rain for what feels like weeks and it has been high 80's all week!!

I'll bet you’re excited for Spanish training this next week.  Will you get to see President Coffin when you go to Indy? The training will actually not be in Indy, it is in Kokomo Indiana, so about a 3 hour drive or longer for us. Although we got a wonderful surprise Saturday! President Coffin got a hold of us and we all went out to dinner! It was great to see them again! Natalia face timed them too while we were with them so I got to see her too. It was nice to spend some time with them, and get fed, because that never happens in this area hahaha. I was going to get a picture with them, but we ended up being a little rushed at the end, so I wasn't able to get one... But hopefully I will see them again before the end of my mission, although we will see what happens with time.

Due to the question of if your address gets delivered mail we sent your package to President Nehring. Ok cool sounds good to me with the Package.... Although I thought of a few more things I need... hehehe. First laminate sleeves that have three whole punches in them so I can put my Preach My Gospel in them so I can write on them and later erase it for the things that I am studying that week, and for protection against rain and other things.  It almost got really wet the first week I was out. Also some Cologne, however you spell it, the smelly stuff you spray on to smell good and be awesome. I didn't bring any and my suits sometimes smell like moth balls... This is not kosher... (I don’t understand this because we had them all dry cleaned before he left.)So either get me a new bottle of Black to send out or one called Bleu de Channel I believe it is a little more expensive but it is a lot nicer, and will last longer.

Did you get daddy’s letter in the mail?  And is the picture I sent you of your apartment correct.  I googled searched… I have mad searching skills. I did get the letter and the picture, so the mail is working.  The picture you shared indeed looks like our apartments when they were new, hahaha is my guess anyway. I have no way to download pictures so I can't send them to you... Sorry. I am taking a few though, although sometimes the camera takes really bad pictures, so you will have to take a look at some of them and see what you think and if you don't like them or something maybe get a new camera, dad and I talked about this before I left.

I shared with him a story about Bailee and Kyle hiking.  While they were hiking a rear view picture of Bailee bending over picking leaves may have been taken and posted to Instagram.  I sent him a screen shot of fit. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA so funny thing about the picture... I looked at it first before I read the description, but only for a brief second and wasn't really paying attention. So I thought to myself.... "Man... Kyle has gotten some freaking lady hips since I have been gone!!!!" BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I than realized it was Bailee after I read the email and it made me laugh really really hard, almost hysterics. I then indeed laughed at what Kyle had written, he is already getting corrupted by our awesomness bwahahaha. Anyway so that was really funny, my eyes are still kind of watery from laughing so hard...

Oh yea so about the Aux cord I cannot find it anywhere.... although those are really easy to get mom, those are the ones you just plug into the speaker and IPod so you can listen to it, it’s like the one you have in the van. I thought I packed it and the charger, but I have not been able to find either so if you could look again that would be great! Otherwise I have found some temporary solutions. As far as my personal funds go, I sadly have been using a lot because of the lack of member meals.  Although now I think I got everything sorted, so that won't happen as much anymore. Also I finally got an MSF Card so that should help too.

As for the bike, I should be able to wait 3 weeks and that would be fine with me to buy his bike, it is a really good bike. I remember seeing the back of it a lot in Cumberland haha. My bike will hopefully not break until then.  Mom, that is crazy about the Tomatoes and canning, it seems like some very painstaking work.

I told him about the experience the girls and I had at the women’s conference. Yeah it will never be as awesome as when Dad and I go out to the Priesthood session and dinner.  One reason is because I always get a very attractive hostesses or waitresses number and second, because it will not have Dad or I there. ;P  Olive Garden!!!! Freak we always go to Chili's because Olive Garden is expensive, so maybe that means when I get home we can upgrade to Ruby River or something tehehehe. I really like what President Uchtdorf said  that is really cool, I like that a lot. Thanks for sharing.

Do you guys have plans for General Conference next weekend?  Where will you be watching it? We will probably be watching it in a church building in North Vernon, which is about a 20 minute drive from here.

How are things with your investigator Betin?  Was he someone you and Elder Gooledge found or was he an investigator that Elder Rowberry had found and is now yours?  How is he progressing?  How often do you meet with him?  Do you have any other people you are meeting with or teaching?  Elder Rowberry had found him and taught him I think 2 times, and then we stepped in. He is doing well, we have a hard time getting him to church because he doesn't have a car and we are having a hard time putting him on a baptismal date for several reasons. One of which, is the fact that he feels that his family feels like he is slowly separating himself from them with the step towards baptism in a different faith. So we are hoping to get his families address in Guatemala and send some missionaries there!!! I think that is pretty cool. I also felt inspired to extend a promise to him. And that was. "If you make this covenant of Baptism and strive to live worthy to it all your life, I can promise you as a servant of God that your family will follow in your footsteps; I don't know when or how, but they will. So that was really cool, to feel that prompting to say that. We meet with him and most of our investigators twice a week that is the goal anyway, sometimes we can only do once, and sometimes we get lucky and get three in. We found 5 new investigators this week, and I know that by Obedience to the Lord's command we will continue to find more as we improve and strive to be obedient. So we now have quite a few, there are two more which I feel have some promise. They are Carlos and Freddie and they are both really cool and have potential, I will probably include more about them in the future, but for time’s sake, I will not today. Although Carlos has a fiancée that is white and hardly speaks Spanish and he is Hispanic and hardly speaks English and he thinks he might have an evil demonic spirit that resides in him.... 8/ Other than that he is doing well. Freddie is a really cool guy we have only taught like three times, his wife and child live in Kentucky and he drives back and forth a lot. I think both of them have a lot of potential so we will see here in the near future how it all pans out with them.

You received a Facebook friend request from a sister named Pany Ourai Davis who lives in Monticello.  Do you know her and should I accept the request? YES!!! Accept the friend request from Monticello!!! I served there while in Logansport!! I told you about the Davis family they are way awesome! So yes please do that. Remember to accept that friend request from her, we call her Gabby or sister Davis but she is awesome!

How often do you interact with the sisters in your area?  Do they live near you?  Do you like them are they nice?  How often do you interact with the Elders from Columbus?  Are there only the one set Elder Rowberry and his companion or are there others in Columbus?  What did you do for P-day last week?  What are your plans for this week?  We interact with the sisters pretty frequently so it is nice, they are very friendly and one kind of reminds me of Brooklyn, at least in the way she acts, which makes me laugh sometimes. We interact with the Elders in Columbus about 2 to 4 times a week and I love both of them dearly, especially Elder Rowberry. He is under a lot of stress right now, I think just with training, being a district leader and also having to deal with the fact of going home in not that long at all.  I feel bad for him and help him as much as I can. There are like 5 sets of Elders in Columbus and a set of sisters, although they are all English speaking. Last week we went up to Columbus and had P-day and this week we will do the same which I really enjoy doing.

I know I asked before but are you driving or is Elder Golledge?  If he is the driver is he good or does he scare you? Ha ha!  Are you still getting a long and do you feel like you have things in common? Elder Golledge is driving and is a maniac!! haha kidding. We are getting along really well, and I think it will only get better.

How is your cooking going?  Making anything good to eat?  Have you eaten with any members this past week? I eat a ton of eggs and Froot Loops, these are really the main staples in my diet hahaha... We got fed Tacos last week that were amazing with a great spicy salsa. YUM!!!! I loved it.

I really like the Branch here, it is really small though. I use my Spanish frequently, everyone says my Spanish is the best out of many of the Elders, but I don't know how true that is. I am still learning and trying to get better, because it is very rough sometimes. Anyway stories, mainly only one. So this week we had Elder Perkins of the quorum of the seventy come to the mission and give a big training. He was really cool and so was his wife. At lunch time we ended up sitting with them! So myself and a few others got to pick their brains for a good hour or more, and hear a ton of amazing stories. He associates a lot with the First Presidency and the 12 so he had lots of stories about them. One cool thing he told us is that Conference is never themed or given certain topics. Speakers are only given how much time they have to speak and that is pretty much it!! So it is all straight revelation from Heaven!!!!! So I thought that was pretty amazing. Other than that he gave a really good tid bit on Faith. Which, I have always been very key on due to my Patriarchal Blessing. So it was amazing to hear all that he had to say, and also see some of the Elders and sisters that I hadn't seen yet. Like Sister Warner.  I also got to see Elder Pendleton again which was awesome. He and I will definitely be spending time together after the mission. Also I have been getting emails from Drew which it has been awesome to hear from him!!

So my Spiritual thought of the week is actually about Faith. See there are to me anyway, different degrees of Faith. Namely like first, Belief, then knowledge, testimony, wisdom, and then Faith unto Power. Now I believe this is the Faith that allows us to move Mountains as stated in the scriptures like the Brother of Jared and Enoch. (Which by the way are probably two of my all-time favorite people in the scriptures.)  Also do we doubt or fear even the slightest, because we know that Doubt and Fear are opposite to faith. So I have really been studying Faith over the last week and will probably continue to study if for a good amount of time. I usually pick one Christ like Attribute from Chapter 6 in Preach my Gospel to focus on in a transfer. I believe I am doing Faith for this one. Well I know that by Faith miracles are brought to pass, and that yes not many of us have that Faith unto the mustard seed without a fragment of doubt, but we can all strive for it, strive to put our doubts aside, until the day it is obtained. I am grateful for all those who have supported me in my times of trial and lent me there Faith, so that I could make it through the dark times. I only hope now that I am doing the same for someone else, whether and investigator, a member, or a stranger who reads this blog, I hope I can help someone in any way I can. Especially for me, there is a reason I am back out on the mission, for all intents and purposes they probably would not have let me come back, unless it was a direct cause of revelation. So I hope to continually seek and find what that reason is, even if there are many. I have always felt a tie to the missionaries out here so maybe that is it, or to an investigator or recent convert. Although not knowing is half the fun, it makes things more interesting and makes you work as hard as you can in every way to find what your purpose is. I think that is the same in life, if we were to know what was to happen tomorrow we would go about mindlessly waiting for it to come. Since we do not know, it makes every day an adventure to be had and a story for the future! Well I love you all very much and I hope everything is going really well for you at home! I hope to hear from you soon and my prayers are always with you!

Love, Elder Paxman