Be a LIGHT unto those who need it!

I captured this image from the Indianapolis, Indiana mission

Touch All the Lines facebook page. 

It was taken the day Elder Paxman arrived, 

and all the other newly arrived missionaries from that day.

Dear Mom,

My week has been pretty good!  I will get to that probably throughout the letter.

Did you have the car this past week or were you on your bike?  By the way how did you get your bike back?  What about your helmet?  How does the sharing of the car work?  Which day do you trade on?  If you’re on your bike how do you go to the grocery store on P-day?  How are you holding up riding the bike?  Do you feel like you are getting stronger physically?  Okay so we actually share the car split week, because we are a 40 min. drive from church we have it usually Saturday to Tuesday, and they have it the other times. Elder Rowberry had found my bike and brought it to Columbus when he found out I was coming. Helmet no, I had to buy a new one. So we trade the car on Saturdays and Tuesdays usually, but that sometimes changes upon convenience. We always have the car on P-days which is super nice.

 Do you spend p-day with the missionaries from Columbus or is it just you and your companion?  It depends on the P-day and what is going on whether we drive up to Columbus for them or not. It is a lot of miles to be going back and forth several times a week, so last week we stayed down, and this week we will be going up to play sports and such.

 How are you holding up riding the bike?  Do you feel like you are getting stronger physically?  I am holding up alright on the bike, although it is a serious piece of very bad words!!!! I hate the thing!! If I knew that for sure at the end of my mission you guys were coming to pick me up I would buy a new one, and a nicer one. So kick that Idea around between you and dad. If not, to ship it back home isn't worth it. I will probably try and ride this bike into the ground which honestly has mostly already happened.  It makes terrible noises as I ride it and is bound to break any day now. Stronger physically... Probably a little, I am tired a lot still which stinks, and not like fatigue tired, but like low energy. I feel like I am getting stronger, but not very fast, so really about the same as far as that goes. My stomach has been a little off set lately I am not sure if it is because of the Iron pills or what, so I have had to be really careful with how much I eat, and what I eat.

So tell me about your new area.  How many square miles does it cover?  Square miles I have no freaking clue mom.... A lot, we cover several towns, it is just us and the other Spanish Elders for an entire stake, so we probably cover at least 80 square miles. Something about my new area is this, I have been using a lot of personal funds, because we don’t get fed by members, because we have no members here close to us, so if we are lucky we get fed on Sundays. So kind of how opening a new area works is you move in first. Then after that, you go by and visit all the members in the area (we have none) then after that, you go by any investigators that were recent, and then you just start pounding pavement. We have tracted a butt ton load lately. We usually do create a map and start gridding things out. So we are still working on that. We have found 4 new investigators over the last week and a half so an alright amount, but we still need to find a ton more. There are a lot of corn fields here and I would love to go sprinting through the corn, but we would probably get shot by the farmer or something. There is another plant they grow a ton of here, but I have no idea what it is...

Are there English Elders/Sisters in Seymour?  Or is it just you and your companion?   Have you eaten at any more members houses?  Were they English or Spanish? There are English sisters here in Seymour and that is it. I got to eat at the Nehrings, and we had snacks at the Hammonds. Both are English.  The Hammonds are interesting. They have 7 kids and are pretty much like a white picket fence Mormon family. We spent some time with them yesterday and they are really cool, they have their own pond, and a very nice house. SOOOO I am going to try and become really good friends with them so I can have a place to chill when we come back and visit ;) hahaha teasing.

How are things going with your companion?  Are you getting along well?  Things are going well with the companion we get along well.

I understand that you had specialized training for the Spanish Elders this past week.  Did you get to see Elder Hj. or any other Elders you know?  What did you think of the training, helpful?  Did you guys have to drive to Indy for that?

Specialized training got moved to October 1^st.  We do have a mission conference from an area 70 tomorrow, but it is just my zone and I think one other, they broke it up into different days for convenience. So I haven't seen anyone since transfers. Sorry if there are a lot of errors with this email I am trying to type fast because I do not have a lot of time

I do feel like I am getting back into the swing of things. Also I am quite a bit less homesick, so it just took a little adapting, and will probably get even better as the time goes on. Sounds like fun with all the weddings and everything. We did not get to see the Temple dedication; in fact I do not think it was even broadcast here. I know that feeling of missing the temple seeing as while I have been out here I was only able to go once.  Church was good we had an investigator come, which is a miracle in itself because of the distance we have to drive to get there. His name is Bertin he is new here from Guatemala about 6 months, he speaks 5 languages and the 5th is Spanish.  He is young, 21 years old, and I really like him a lot. I believe he will be baptized if all keeps going well, we will see here in the coming weeks. I hope to hear from Alex soon, I didn't this week, but maybe next.  Bai told me about the surprise party for Grandma, it seemed like it was a lot of fun. In my package with my coat could you include some snacks, and my other set of scriptures and those two little books I need that I told you about last week, and some mechanical pencils, good ones. Thanks for fixing my coat.

Ok so this will have to be quick, I am almost out of time. So a spiritual thought. So this week with getting sick for a day, I was quite terrified that I would get really sick again while out on the mission, and then they would send me home again, which I don't know if I could handle. Anyway throughout the week things had been normal, but in my quiet moments by myself I would often ponder various things. One was why am I back? Another was How have I changed through all of this? And many many more, but one thought that I will share a little bit on today, is that of patience in afflictions, which I feel I have been blessed with throughout my life. Well whilst being afraid and worrying of being sent home again and all of that stuff. I realized that once again, I have been blessed with an amazing amount of patience and aid when it has come to my sickness. While at a members they commented on how I have done a lot with my life in the short time frame I have had, and while being so sick. I paused for a second, and said: "I want to prove people wrong" He was curious by that so I continued. "People think just because one is sick frequently or has trials of their own whatever they may be, that they are broken or able to do less. I know this because I feel it and have felt it many times. But I have set out to prove that I can do everything the guy next to me can, and I can do it just as good. I wanted to be an example of those who aren't always healthy in whatever way, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental. I wanted people to be able to hear my life story see some of the things I have done, and say there is someone with the heart and will to do hard things. With the ability to stand out, and do what needs to be done, someone who knows that yea, I am broken, but that doesn't mean hopeless. Life is meant to be hoped for and lived for. Even in those moments of darkness. I am terrible at expressing my words, but I feel if I could sit down with people who are just going through Hell right now, and tell them some stories and share some knowledge that I believe I have gained and am still gaining. I could help them be just a little happier or better off in some way. I honestly don't know why I am back, and I may never know, all that I do know is that I am, and I am going to do my best to be a light unto those who need it. I am truly no different than anyone else, experience has made me learn and grow as it does or should everyone. Yes I am broken, but weak or (broken) things are to become strong. I know that God lives and loves each and every one of us, yes even the broken ones. I actually think everyone is a little broken in some way. We all could use a little fixing, I myself could use a lot, but that is what this gospel is about right? Being better, improving, realizing our potential, becoming what we were meant to be. I wish I was better with words so I could tell people this in a more poetic or beautiful way, but my simple words are gonna have to work.  This Gospel is amazing, and I am honored to be a part of spreading it once again, even if that is only for another week, or however long, it is another week in the service of my God and King.

So overall a great week, as is every week, even if it takes hindsight to realize that. Well Mom I need to wrap up, I love you so much and I hope this didn't sound preachy... Was not intended to be that way. Anywho I love you so much, I hope everything is going well back home. Remember the Bike discussion because this piece I am riding is a pain hahaha. Anyway love you all and can't wait to hear from you soon.

Love, Elder Paxman  

Each Missionary and Person is designed for Greatness!!

Elder Paxman and his new companion Elder Golledge.

Dear Mom,

Okay, so my stomach is feeling alright.  I have started the Iron, and I might jump to once a day depending on how I feel.  It has been hard for me too, not crying hard, but harder than I thought it would be. I need you to send me the 12 weeks book and another one you might have to find called Adjusting to Missionary Life, they are in my room somewhere.  Okay now to answer all of your questions first.

How was your flight and did you fly with other missionaries?  Was your cousin Miranda on your flight?  When you got to the gate were there other missionaries for you to hang out with?  Did you get to talk to other missionaries going to Indy that are Spanish?  Was it a smooth flight or bumpy? My first flight I did fly with other missionaries, but none going to Indiana. When I got to Atlanta I met 3 more Spanish speaking Elders going to Indy so that was good. Cousin Miranda was not on the flight, I did not find her. There were missionaries waiting at the gate. It was a smooth flight for the most part, and I did get to talk to quite a few of the Spanish Elders. They asked me so many questions and they seem like a good bunch of kids, I am excited to see their progress.

How was it seeing the mission President?  Did he say anything noteworthy to you? 

It was nice to see the President again and his wife, when I first walked up they had a huge grin same with the assistants, and Sister Cleveland was just like AHH!! I want to hug you so bad!  I laughed and President Cleveland was his usual stalwart self, but he gave me a hug which was really unexpected haha.

How about Transfer meeting?  Did you see any Elders who are friends?  Were people excited to see you?  Who have you seen that I would know?

At transfers as Elder Golledge stood up and President said I have some amazing special news, his companion will be one of our favorites who has returned to us to serve again.  It is our amazing pleasure to have him again, Elder Paxman. So that was really cool. At transfers there were a lot of Elders that were really excited to see me. Namely Elder Rowberry (who is now my district leader) Elder Pendleton, Elder Larson, Elder Given, Elder Wolverton, Elder Twitchell, Elder Hansen and quite a few more. I didn't get to see Elder Hjelm, or Elder VanHaren, but I am sure I will before long. Tons of people were excited to see me, even one really cute sister who I don't know too well, I remember she came in the transfer I left. Sister Hunt I think was her name.

What did you do the first day there when you were at the mission home?  What did they feed you for dinner and did you have your appetite back? I didn't really have my appetite back and still don't. They fed us Cafe rio style salads and rice, so I ate rice haha. The first day they actually peeled me away from the new missionaries and put me with Elder Syrett's companion for the day! (Because Elder Syrett went home that same day.)So we hung out and did some stuff than got food from the mission home and I spent the night at his apartment. Also Elder Syrett called when he got home so I got to talk to him which was really nice.

What is your address?  What is your apartment like?  Make sure you are taking pictures! :) Are you in a car?  IF so what kind? MY address is 811 East 4th street Rd. Seymour Indiana. I don't know the zip code, you can probably look it up though. My apartment is really nice, probably the nicest one I have been in, although we have to pay out the mouth for laundry. We share a car and it’s a corolla.  So I am back on my piece of junk donkey steed for a bit.... I hate this bike with a fiery passion.

Did you buy a pillow and blanket?  Groceries?  What are you eating?   Have you been fed by any members yet? Oh before I forget I had to use personal funds the other day because my MSF hadn't been all worked out yet, although now I should be good. I bought a pillow, but no blanket yet, the sheets keep me plenty warm. Groceries: Grape juice for vitamin C and because I like it, Chocolate milk for weight gain, string cheese, frozen pizza, chips, sour cream, chip dip stuff, yogurt, milk, fruit loops, eggs 2 dozen, frozen meals 4 of them, blocked cheese, butter, bread, and laundry detergent. That's about it. We have been fed twice, the problem is we have no members in our area and the nearest ones are about 25 min. away!! Church is 45 min away so it is going to be a bugger to get people to come to church...

How do you feel about your new companion? So far I like Elder Golledge. He is from California and he loves Disney things. I did know him before.

Tell me about your area?  Is it Columbus?  Are you opening up a new area?  If so what is it like?  Ghetto or nice?  Details.  We actually opened a new area called Seymour, it is not a bad town, some areas are kind of ghetto, but not too bad.  I really like it, lots of farms all around. Lots of Hoosiers though, so we will see how things go, not too big so biking shouldn't be too brutal.

HOW IS YOUR SPANISH?!?!  Do you feel like you lost any or are you communicating just fine?  My Spanish is doing alright; I don't really feel like I have lost much of it, so that is nice. I can communicate pretty well, although at times I will forget how to say something.

Did you forget anything at home that you need me to send you? Just send me those books and an Aux cord for the speaker. Other than that I think I will be okay. I will let you know if that changes.

I told him that some of the people he had converted were so excited to hear he was coming back. That is so good that she was excited, the mission had actually changed regulations on calling converts so I got to call her the other night and talk to her which was amazing! They are planning on going through the temple on the 2nd of December!! They want me to go with! I will be so excited if I can go! Elder Cozzins my trainer, love that guy, it’s good to hear from him.

I really have no idea how long I will be in this area I am hoping I will be here for at least a few transfers. This next one will kind of let us know I think. It is possible I will kill off Elder Golledge in December, but I really have no idea. I already told you mostly about Elder Rowberry he is my district leader and is training a new missionary, and he is about a 40 min. drive from us. My week has been pretty good, really crazy we weren't able to move into our apartment until Saturday so we weren't really able to get any work done till then. Once we moved in, we have found two new people and taught three lessons. We have two investigators progressing as of right now, and we have a total of I think 5... So not very many at all, but that should change here soon. Church was awesome! I really like the branch, it is really tiny, and most of them speak English, but they are very loving and great people. The weather has gotten cold fast, Saturday it was in the 40's for a chunk of the day and then rose to the low 50s so it is going to be a cold winter I feel.

Honestly being back in the mission is much harder than the first time. I am more homesick, I tire more easy, and it is just really hard, but it is so worth it and I would not change a thing, even though at times I struggle, I have never really let that stop me in the past. The transition is still coming so hopefully it will get better.   I am hoping here in a few weeks I will be running at full speed again.  Being out here has made me realize that I am still not all the way healthy yet...

My first spiritual story, well I will share two, the first happened in a Zone meeting on Friday. We were having a discussion as a Zone and it was all on making our time worth it out here and being unified as a zone. For most of the meeting I had been relatively quite as usual, but I got the impression to share some thoughts, when they started talking about how we have this time in our lives to serve.  I said something like this. "You know... This is coming from personal experience, but you never know how much that tag on your chest is worth to you until it is taken away, and I am afraid none of you will know what that feels like till it is taken from you.  But I can tell you right now, that little black tag and your calling as a missionary will mean more to you than you can possibly imagine, so please make every day count, because like me, you may never know if you wake up tomorrow and are sent home." The room was deathly quiet until one of the Zone Leaders spoke up and said the spirit was so abundantly strong when I testified of that, and that he was grateful for me saying those words. I never realized and probably won't fully how many people have looked up to me with this decision to come back. Honestly, I don't know why they even do, I am just an ordinary kid... I struggle just like the rest, I suffer, I cry, I work, I do everything I can just as many others.  I am no different than those who will be reading this. We all have amazing potential and are capable of doing those things that are inspiring to others, because we all come from Heavenly Heights. So that was one story the other, was a personal one. I was pondering one day on the feelings of being a missionary, and I can distinctly feel the difference between being a missionary and not being one.  The mantel that is placed on us is so heavy but so rewarding. If I could impact anyone on my mission I would hope it would be those I serve with, if not everyone, because each missionary and person is designed for greatness. I realized the strength of the spirit we feel and experience as missionaries. So yep that was my week really.

Well I have written a really long email it feels like, so I will wrap up. I love you all so much and hope everything is going well at home.  I miss you all dearly and love you all with all my heart, and wish the very greatest and dearest of Heavenly Fathers blessings upon you no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. I hope to hear from you soon.

Love, tu misionero, Elder Paxman

Returning to the Mission

After almost 4 months of medical treatment Elder Paxman has returned to his service as a full time missionary.

Early in  August Ben received a call from his mission medical doctor stating that if it was his desire to return to the mission he would now approve a reinstatement to mission service.  This was not a guarantee Ben would be able to return.  His doctor had to sign a letter and a letter had to be written by the Stake President as well as a letter from Ben.  On August 19th Ben turned in a letter to the Stake President stating his desire to return to missionary service. It along with a letter from Ben's doctor and the Stake President all had to be reviewed by a variety of different people including the missionary department and then final approval by a member of the Quorum of the 12.

On the afternoon of August 21st Ben received a call from our Stake President informing him that he would return to the Indianapolis, Indiana mission on September 9th.  On August 27 a letter was issued from the office of the First Presidency officially reinstating Ben as a full time missionary signed by President Thomas S. Monson.  On September 8th Elder Paxman was again set apart as a full time missionary and on September 9th we again sent him on his way.

Many prayers were answered and many miracles have happened to allow Ben to return to his mission.  He is excited to return to Indiana and share the gospel with the Hispanic people there.  

Our family after he was set apart.

 At the airport just prior to leaving.

Indiana here I come!

And off he goes.

One last look back and a wave.

Arriving in Indiana and in the hands of the Mission President and his wife.

D&C 42:6 And ye shall go forth in the power of my Spirit, preaching my gospel, two by two, in my name, lifting up your voices as with the sound of a trump, declaring my word like unto angels of God.

Well done thou good and faithful servant...

You can't have a welcome home without signs and balloons!!  So we prepped the yard.  Brooklyn even broke out the sidewalk chalk and decorated!

 I thought she did a pretty good job drawing Indiana!!

 We had to get creative with short notice.  Thank goodness for butcher paper and sidewalk chalk!!

 Grandma, the Girls and I waited on pins and needles at the bottom of the escalator!!

Daddy and Grandpa were a little more patient.... 

From the time the screen says his flight has arrived... it just takes forever.

Everyone that comes down that escalator before him, says "he's coming" with big smiles! 

Then we FINALLY caught our first view of him... gave a big cheer and then my waterworks started

Daddy getting his first appearance on video...

 Look at that Handsome Missionary!!

 Time for "The Hugs"

I'm 90% sure I was saying,  "Let me have a look at you, your so skinny and pale.."

 Daddy's turn

Bailee...

Brooklyn...

Grandma... Grandpa had a hug too, but he had crazy eyes in the pic, so I saved it. ;)

So fun to be reunited after 14 months!!

 He's Home!

Our stake has a tradition that I did not know about...

When the missionary meets with the Stake President and the missionary is released 

the Mom removes the Missionary's name tag.

Can I just say I did not want to be the one to do this..

He didn't want it removed, he wants to keep serving, so it was a bittersweet moment.

We both shed a few tears...

Well done thou good and faithful servant!!!

Ben has been continuing to undergo further tests and treatments.  He is doing much better and his blood levels are improving.  It's not going to be a quick fix, but it's moving along.  He has such a strong desire to return and finish out his mission in Indiana, if it's the Lord's will, it will happen.  If it's not, he served a great mission, he served with honor, he was a great missionary,  and he touched and changes many lives, including his own!!

So unless the Lord sees fit to return "Elder Paxman to Indiana" this part of Elder Paxman's life and this blog are complete.

These next two photos were taken on a small (very small) hike he and his dad went on the past Saturday May 29.  It is a place overlooking the Draper Temple.  Ben has been having cabin fever and wanted to get out for a bit.  As you can see he is looking a little better every day! Still skinny and still pale, but we're working on it!!  Continued prayers, love and support are always welcome!!

*This entire blog post was actually written 2 1/2 weeks after he came home, that's how I could add these last two pictures of him. 

The Lord's answers will be given...

Elder Paxman in the Hospital.

He has always been a good patient.  

He never complains and always tries have a good attitude.

Even when his mission is disrupted by health issues.

"Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting"

 Elder Paxman spent 4 days in the hospital in Indiana and had a variety of tests.  None of the tests could determine what had caused his bleeding, his low blood counts and his low iron.

Due to the fact that he needs more tests and to recover his blood levels he will be coming home from his mission on May 17th with an honorable medical release.  

He had so many people help him, visit him and care for him.  The Elders of the White River areas, His companion Elder Rowberry, The Coffin family, especially President Coffin and Sister Steadman the mission nurse!  They were all amazing and he couldn't have done it without them.

He is so sad to be leaving and would love to stay in Indiana and continue to serve, but realizes he needs to come home and get well.

After his hospital stay he was released to the care of his companion for a few days to wrap up some things and to pack.

Elder Paxman and Elder Rowberry

 Elder Paxman, Elder Rowberry and the Coffins.

"We may not know why, or how The Lord's answers will be given, But in his time and his way, His Answers WILL COME!!"  ~Elder Robert D. Hales

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing."

Not on the mission bucket list....

First I do not have a letter to share from Elder Paxman today.   I do have some pictures from our Mother's Day face time.  He was able to face time us from the home of the Diaz family who he baptized along with his companion in December.  Elder Paxman loves this family so much and they love him.  They shared with us, their conversion story, how the missionaries changed their lives and how Elder Paxman is a blessing to them. That because of the missionaries and the gospel that they shared the Diaz family is now a real family!  The thanked us for the sacrifice of giving up our son for a few years, that he may come to Indiana and be guided to find them and touch their lives.  They also stated that he is like their son and brother.  They will remember and be friends with him always.  They expressed their love for him, the gospel and for us as parents who raised a son that could bring the spirit into their home.  It was nothing short of amazing!! Tears were flowing by all, the Diaz family, Elder Paxman and us.  We took some screen shots, sorry they are blurry.

Now because this is his mission blog and I endeavor to document all the mission experiences he is having I will have to post the reason  I did not receive email today.

Elder Paxman has been admitted into the Indiana University Hospital.  He has been feeling quite weak the last week or so and his color has become very pasty.  It was also discovered that he is having some bleeding either from his stomach or his intestines somewhere.  Due to this blood loss his hemoglobin is only at an 6 and should be closer to 14. He is not feeling sick, not in pain and in good spirits. His only complaint was having a HUGE IV placed in his arm to receive blood and IV fluids.  Also he stated that this "was not part of his mission bucket list"!  He will spend the night in the hospital and tomorrow have an Endoscopy done to see if they can locate where the bleeding is coming from.  He has many people looking out for him and checking on him.  Even though he is away from home... He is not Alone!

Prayers would be great at this time!

I wanted to leave you with a piece of his testimony...he bore it in Spanish on Mothers Day but I of course am challenged and can't get the video to upload.  I will try again later. 

Tomorrows battles are easier won...

Dear Mom,

Ha ha funny enough we actually do not have any parties or anything set up for Cinco De Mayo... So who knows?  We did get invited to one, but we have a lesson planned, so if the lesson cancels or something we are going to go.

As far as transfers go, I am staying and my companion is leaving. I will be getting a new companion and I have three options/ideas of who it will be. I will also put them in what I think the likeliness of it happening is. I think it will be Elder Rowberry, Elder Thurston, or Elder Mancilla. We will see who I end up with.

(We received a cute picture of Elder Paxman with a little Chihuahua and I asked him about it, and I asked if he was still taking a lot of pictures.) I am glad you liked the pictures of me with the puppy.  Yes it is her dog and it is adorable!! hahaha Mom you are more emotional than me which is hard to get sometimes. Although, I have found I am not as emotional as I used to be or mainly just different things trigger my emotions now. I am glad you liked the picture. My camera is still working, it’s a little beat up around the edges but it still works. I have been taking a few, but Elder Markward (my companion) doesn't like pictures so I haven't been taking as many, but there are a few on there. I will probably be sending my SD card home here soon.

(I sent him pictures of our outing to the Tulip Festival and told him about what a fun family outing it was.) That sounds like a really fun outing with the family and one we will have to do when I get home. Also that is a freaking ton of flowers.

I am sad to hear about Rachel. I hope all goes well for her with her health and she can continue to do whatever the Lord has in store for her... I hope all goes well with her future plans, tell her I say Hi when you see her and that she can always email me if she wants.

Well they haven't let us know anything about the calls for mother’s day, so I will let you know the night before as usual.  But I really have no idea on details right now. We have church from 11-2 so my guess is it will probably be at night time. So I will let you know how that goes when the time comes.

The work this last week has been really good, we taught quite a few lessons.  We were able to get some less actives to church which was amazing. We actually keep track of how many lessons we teach in a week and this week was 21 which is really quite good for our area. When we are not teaching we go door to door or stop by formers or Less-actives.  We can keep busy doing service or a variety of things.  Usually it is going by formers homes and potentials and stuff more than going door to door. Overall we are pretty busy.  We never have down time except the breaks that are planned, but most of the time we just eat and sleep during those. One cool thing that happened was a less-active got up and bore his testimony and it was an amazing testimony!!  It was very strong and the spirit was amazing. So that was great for him and he has been coming for the last 2 weeks and I believe he will keep coming as long as we get him a ride, so that was awesome. We are going to hopefully be finding some families or something like that we can work with, because right now we are not teaching any families and I find that the gospel is better accepted in families and I love teaching families anyway. Yea Spanish is rough but I am still going along and it gets better weekly so that is good. Also I am behind on my Book of Mormon challenge reading because in Spanish you have to read like 9 pages a day, so it has been rough.

(What will you be doing for p-day, anything fun?) We will be playing sports and stuff as usual which is always fun.  My health has been hanging in there I haven't gotten sick really, I still feel weak sometimes, but for the most part good.  I have a little cold I am trying to shake, but it isn't too bad. I go back to the doctor in June so not for about a month. (I asked about his weight because I thought he was looking a little thin again) Actually we don't have a scale so I have not been monitoring my weight, my guess is probably around 170's but I have no idea without a scale.

Oh one other amazing thing is Drew was down here on Sunday and I got to see him before church, that was amazing and he is doing really well, so that was really nice for me to see him.

This week from my studies, I always study a Christ-like attribute from Chapter 6 in Preach my Gospel every Transfer and this upcoming transfer is going to be between two of them and I haven't decided yet.  It is either going to be Humility or Faith. So I have been studying about those a lot. It was interesting, I was reading about Faith and it was talking about how even though the Diligent seeker can obtain faith it is still a divine gift from God.  That is how some people have the spiritual gift of faith. Also we can strengthen our faith by hearing others testimonies, which was something I already knew. But it made me think about how many times I had slept during fast and testimony meeting as a youth at church back home and I felt a little guilty haha. One part that I really liked is that Faith is a principle of power and God works by power and that he works through our faith to perform miracles, but how often times our faith needs to be tried and put to the test. To me it reminds me of the tempering of steel and how it must go under intense heat and pressure to become as strong as it can be, because it helps get out all the impurities. I feel this is the same with us, often times we are put through hard moments to help get the imperfections out of us, in a way and manner that is most beneficial to us, and of course at times very trying. I feel as though I have been through many of those moments in my life and am continuing to have them. They are not always big events sometimes they are small things within the caverns of our mind, the small day to day thoughts and actions that are almost rote to us. We fight the battle in our minds on a daily basis of Faith versus doubt, or Hope versus Despair and even though sometimes it is hard to pick the good side, it always pans out for our greatest benefit in the end, because the higher the heat and greater the pressure the better the steel, and when we have better steel, tomorrows "battles" are easier won, because we are better equipped.  These are just some thoughts I had as I studied this past week.

Well I have taken a lot of time and have to get going soon. Well I love you so very much and hope that all continues to go well back home, and I will be giving you a call this Saturday in the night probably to let you know about the details.  It  will only be for like 5 min though just to set up the Mother’s day stuff. So I love you mom and hope you have a great week.

Love, Elder Paxman