The Gleaners Food Truck and a Gross Cat

 Elder Paxman Snow Selfie

 Elder Paxman and Elder Blood 

 He titled this "Gross"

Missionaries take the weirdest pictures. 

 Preparing for Gleaners food truck service.

Dear Mom,

I agree with Dad, you can’t turn on the Christmas lights till after Thanksgiving! I am glad that the lights turned out so great though!! I am way excited for Christmas!!! Although, I realized that shortly thereafter I will only have six months left on the mission!!! Which kind of scares me, the time has gone by super-fast. I think I will probably stay in this area of Columbus or Seymour for this next transfer; it depends on a couple things. So we will see what happens. This transfer is the first big shipment to go home, it is crazy. Just those three Elder Rowberry, Elder Hjelm and Elder Gooledge are the Spanish that will be leaving.  (he has been companions with all 3) We are supposed to get a few more like 4 or so here in the next little bit. After this next transfer the mission will be reduced down to 200 or so I believe.  We will get fewer new missionaries than are going home. The rumor is there will be no new Spanish missionaries this transfer, but 4 the next one. I think we will at least get one. I hope so, but we will see. I am hoping to go to Seymour full time, but I will do whatever I am called to do. Although, as I said  I believe I will be staying in one of these two areas.

It is true we teach the Doctrine, but we are not the true teachers. The Spirit will testify of truth so it is our job to allow him to be present, and do all we can to allow him to testify through us or with us or whatever it may be, so that the person may feel of its convincing power.

Any snow? We have had one good snow fall of about an inch or so and it stayed for about oh 3 days, and it was then just super cold. Now it is really rainy and in the 50's which is supposed to change here in not too long.

Wow the first Great Grand baby. I heard from Grandma that is kind of weird I am not going to lie... Bai and Kyle better wait to pop out a small one till I get home. Well it is too late anyway, she can be preggers before I come home, but no baby!! Even though it would be freaking weird to see Bai with a baby belly.... No thank you!! Not till later!

The work has been slow to say the truth. Although, Carlos will be getting baptized this Saturday!!!! This is awesome! I will be doing the Confirmation in church on the 30th!! I am so excited I love being able to participate in things like that. Especially giving of the Holy Ghost, it is so powerful to be able to give them such a great gift from Our Father in Heaven! As far as exciting lessons we watched JSPR with Bertin, because we found that his big concern was if Joseph Smith was really a Prophet. So we watched it and he loved it! So we have a lesson with him tomorrow, and I am really hoping that we can help him along. He is so close mom, I can feel it, we are just waiting for that day when it finally all clicks together. We have not found anyone new to teach this week though. We are hoping and going to change that though if the Lord be willing in the next few days! Things are going really good with the comps. I really like Elder Rowberry, hopefully those feelings are reciprocal, and Elder Blood is awesome too. I am closer to Rowberry by far, I’m sure because of serving briefly together before, but I am really working on trying to get along and be a good friend to all missionaries, especially my companions.

I received pictures from a member of you doing service on a food truck.  What is this? The Gleaners food truck, we do it once a month. It is really cool. It was my first time this last week. It is for those who are less fortunate and a way for them to get food. I am not sure how it all works exactly, but it was an awesome service we got to do. I will comment on a story from that at the end of the letter.

In the pictures of the food truck you were wearing your thermals and shorts; do your jeans not fit? Also in the picture you are looking fit and healthy. Yes my jeans fit, but since I am living out of both apartments, they were down in Seymour. So I just wore what I had, it was around the high twenties that day... I actually stayed rather warm. I didn't take a hoodie for that event, although yes I do have one. haha The looking really fit I am sure comes with the outfit hahaha. I am doing alright health wise anyway. I got really sick this last week which was not fun, and I haven't felt too great since. Although I will start my antibiotics on December 1st so that is not far off. So hopefully that gets better, the big thing is there is now a cough going around, and I think I am starting to catch it. Also my appetite is gone again, so hopefully it will come back, I still eat, just not as much as usual. I will work on the blood draw thing.

Have you done any other service this past week besides the food truck? Not really any other service besides the food truck. Although this week it looks like we will be building a lean to like thing for a member. We will see.

You said you sleep on the couch, is this still true and I thought you were supposed to all sleep in the same room how does that work? I do still sleep on the couch, but we moved it into the same room. Except in Seymour, I sleep on the couch, and it is in the other room. So we just keep the doors open and such. We stay in Seymour usually one or two nights, so not too many. 

The three of us get into some fun times. One of which is we were making cookies at a members house, and there oven is way jacked up. So we burnt several cookies and made their house smell terrible. We did get some good cookies out of it though. So while we are there, we keep hearing this pounding, well shortly after someone knocks on the front door. It is Hermana Soares she is another member that lives next door to the Ramirez who we were visiting. She comes in and says she is locked out and doesn't have a phone because she sent it to get fixed. Her husband was home, but not answering the door. So after some discussion, it is concluded, we decide that I will break into their house and let her in. Great plan right, let Elder Paxman break in and open the door for you, oh one problem the husband is inside, doing who knows what and he might see me and put a freaking cap in my butt!! So I am like okay adventure right!!? So I walk out front whip out a card and start working on the door, I am just about to get it, when they come out and say that they got a hold of the husband and he is coming to let her in now. So in the long run I did not break into a member’s home, almost, but not quite. So it was kind of funny and a fun night overall.

This week’s more spiritual thought comes from the Gleaners truck. So we were there early and were sitting inside this building talking together as missionaries. Well this older fellow starts talking to me and another missionary, asking us where we are from and so forth. He states that he had a few good friends who served missions and so forth. So after we have some small chat, the other Elder leaves and I start talking to him. It turns out he was a Green Beret sniper for 23 years. He speaks over 5 languages and has been called on military missions in over like 35 nations. He was awesome. Well after a lot of discussion we come around to the topic of Will. More specifically one’s own will. We were talking and he said it is sad in this rising generation, that many young people do not have the personal drive to do things anymore. I agreed with him, it is sad, but true, many of the young people today do not have the mental drive or fortitude to do many things in this life. He talked very powerfully about the word Can't. He said that it should be abolished from the English language. He said many people before they even start or once they hit hard times they say "I can't do it!" He said once you say this, you have already lost. You might as well have added 500 pounds to your pack on the journey in life. It was great for me to hear, because often times I think I doubt myself too much. I am very hard on myself, as you well know. So hearing this was a great help for me. He said it is not wrong if you need help to get things done, but saying you can't do something is making it seem impossible. I remember as a kid dad always telling me that I could do whatever I put my mind to. I felt that same resounding determination in this older man's voice. We must believe in ourselves, we are of great worth and potential. We can do anything that is in God's will for us, and that we strive and fight for. This life is fought in the everyday battles of one’s mind. You determine whether you win or lose, you determine if it’s a good day or not, you determine your own destiny! I have come to know this without a doubt. Agency is indeed one of the greatest gifts we have been given of God.

Well, this has been a really long letter. So I love you all so much and hope that things are going great back home. Remember never to doubt yourself, for He will help, and we are engineered for eternal greatness! I hope you have a great week and I can't wait to hear from you again soon. My prayers are always with you.

Love, Elder Paxman   

Hoosierville and Chasing Chickens

Columbus, Seymour and Mt Vernon missionaries. This picture was taken before last transfers.

Dear Mom,

This last week has been pretty good.

Have you adjusted to being in Columbus and living at the Nehrings house?  Did you get a bed or are you sleeping on what? As far as living with the Nehrings it’s pretty good. It is really nice of them to let us use their house. As for a bed I am using a couch... So yea it isn't that bad luckily.

Living in the basement of the Nehrings, do you interact with them much? We do interact with the Nehrings quite a bit.

I imagine living in Columbus where the branch is located; maybe you get dinner appointments more often.  Is this true?  Or are you mostly still cooking for yourself?  I do get fed a little bit more; it is a lot easier to budget things when you get fed every-once in a while. Now the only problem is with traveling back and forth we eat out a fair amount which bites.

So do you guys drive out to Seymour a few days a week or how does that work?  How are you teaching the investigators that you already had out there like Bertin and Carlos?  Do you still look for new investigators out in Seymour or just teach the ones you already had? We are usually in Seymour about 3-4 days of the week. We do look for new investigators and such, but it makes things hard with the cold and the weather and everything. Also we are now not allowed to tract after dark, which is like after 6... So this is going to be very interesting.

Did you move all of your stuff out of your apartment in Seymour and do you still get your mail there or should we start sending your mail to Columbus? How many miles is it exactly out to Seymour and how long does it take you to drive there? I am about halfsies in both apartments, because we don't have a ton of room in Columbus, and we do spend nights every once in a while in Seymour so it all works out alright; it isn't ideal, but it works. You can send mail to either address we get it from both of them. It takes about 35-45 minutes to drive between the two cities; it will probably start to take longer seeing as it is getting colder and icier here.

I have noticed on your personal debit card that you have a charge to a place OLFY quite often.  So I googled it to see what it was and it said it's called Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt?  Is this what it is? Orange leaf frozen yogurt, yea we eat there quite a bit. It is one of the places we eat here in Seymour. It is mostly frozen yogurt, which is what I get anyway. It is filling and tasty. In fact we will probably go there tonight, I like it, but we will see.  

Have you found any new investigators since becoming a trio or just continuing to teach people you already had? How is it going being in a trio? We have not found any news since we have been together. We are teaching some investigators that they already had and some I had, so we are working with them, and LARCS as well as members. I love being with Elder Rowberry again; he is a great friend of mine. I also really like Elder Blood.  I feel for the most part the trio is going pretty well. We are also getting better as time goes on and we are growing more accustomed to the way we teach, act, and work.

How are your investigators from Seymour doing?  Carlos is going to be baptized on the 29^th, he just has to pass his interview. Bertin is coming along, but is struggling with a testimony of Joseph Smith so if you could pray specifically for him about that, it would mean the world to me.

I see that you got snow today, Sunday.  Did you get a lot of snow or just a little bit?  Do the people of Columbus get snow often?  You are quite a bit south; do they know how to drive in the snow there?  Has it been really cold? We did get snow today only about an inch though as of Monday. Elder Blood was freaking out hahaha, oh Californians haha. Mom no one knows how to drive in the snow here in southern Indiana... We get a bit of snow, not a lot, and really only this last winter. Usually it is a little cold and maybe a tiny bit of snow, but we keep getting the polar vortex thing or whatever the heck that is. I have a blanket now, so I am good there, for the most part I am staying warm.

My hair is quite long haha I am getting it cut on Wednesday by an English member. So that should be fun. Although a lot of people like my hair this length, it is kind of strange I actually don't mind it too much either.

Daddy is going to make 3 big lighted Christmas trees to avoid hanging lights on the house.  I will miss them on the house. I think the big trees thing is a lot cooler than the ones on the house. I’ll make you a deal though, if he does all of those trees, when I get home, I will put up some on the roof, just for you mom.

I love how my room becomes the bunker haha. Makes me chuckle. Special Christmas Candy I would like are those freaking Butterfinger bells!!!!! They are the best!! Little chiming pieces of heaven are what those are right there. Good looking sweaters for Christmas maybe...? Not just plain ones either, ones with stripes and designs, they let us wear those. Also, I will probably need mediums.  One cool Christmas present idea is to go online and get all of the families or some of them anyway favorite conference talks and burn them onto CD's and have them sent out to me. Or you know a girl, that would be nice. Just to write me of course tehehe. Other things about Christmas I am not sure. Music is a huge one. I am not sure though really... I will try and think more on that. Wow I can't believe that Grandma and Grandpa are already about done with their missions, it just blows my mind... It will be nice to be able to go to their house again for holidays and have some of Grandmas bread again. Maybe some of grandmas bread for Christmas haha.

Do you have an invite for Thanksgiving dinner yet? Someone will probably feed us, but I am not sure who, or whom. Sometimes we get like 5 meals on that day, but we will see.

Is Elder Rowberry excited to go home or sad?  And I commented to his mom via his blog… no motorcycle. I think he is both; I will miss him a lot though.  Why no motorcycle? We need to get a gang together so we can ride and have fun adventures.

Brooklyn has been hanging with a really good group of guy friends and we told him about some of her adventures. Good friends my freaking BUTT!! Those young boys better keep their eyes peeled, because when I come back... ooooohh man I will be on the prowl like a freaking wild beast! They even look funny and I will hit them so hard when they wake up their hair will be out of style!! Well maybe not... Ba ha. We will see when that times gets here 8/  

Joel comes home in December. I think I will now be the last of all my friends to come home pretty much. I was lucky to have good friends throughout most of my life.

Sounds like you will be in the mission for the Indiana Temple open house and dedication.  I’ll bet that news excites you. Yes if it goes according to schedule I will get to do a lot of stuff with it hopefully! We will see when that time comes. If I think too much of the future it seems the present escapes from me.

So I am running out of time, but I will try and tell the stuff I wish to before I have to go. So, a little funny story, we went to this street mid-week because the Columbus sisters needed us to go to a lesson with them. So we drive to this road called Dawson St. which is pretty infamous I hear. Although I did not know why, well we show up and I am talking freaking Hoosierville!! PWT out the wazoo!!!! It was crazy! There was a Deer head freshly lopped off hanging from a tree like a Christmas decoration, and garbage everywhere, along with tons of other junk. So we show up to the house we are supposed to go to with the Sisters and there are probably 80 chickens walking about, and cats and other creatures. Well Elder Blood being the Cali boy he is, wanted to catch one... He then proceeded to chase chickens around for a good 15 min. It was like a small child. (he is so funny).  I was like okay you stink at this, so I go and surround one with him, and he has like 20 chances to catch this stupid fat chicken and he doesn't do it. It turns out he was afraid they were going to attack him or peck him with their "sharp beaks" as he referred to them. It was pretty funny. Also we got pictures of the sister teaching a cat the law of Chastity... Man mom we are weird as missionaries... Anyway that was a funny story of the week.

Okay so now the spiritual stuff. This week I was struggling with my own personal self-worth. Wondering if I was doing all I could to be a good missionary, and to do all the things that are required of us. Not only this, but also if I could do it, because I am imperfect, and broken. Yet after a prayer that literally felt as if I was communing with God (as every prayer should probably feel). I was reading in the scriptures and I ended up in D&C 76. In which is described many things of the Plan of Salvation. One part of which, being the kingdoms of Glory. I was reading about the Celestial kingdom when one verse stuck out to me. It said something along the lines of. "these are those who have overcome..." Overcome, this made me think deeply for quite some time. Overcoming can only be possible if there is something to overcome. Which is proof to me that those who inherit the highest tier in the Celestial Kingdom of God will be those who although imperfect, broken and weak, will have Overcome themselves and the challenges of this life to inherit eternal Glories with our Father above. This brought great comfort and peace to my heart. I know that through the Atonement of Christ we may all overcome those things that are affecting us and binding us down to the gulf of endless misery and woe, even if that is ourselves. So cling on to God and run forward never doubting, that he is by your side waiting to deliver you in those moments of need! I hope to inherit that great kingdom above with all of those whom I love. Well my time is pretty much up, but I know that we can all make it to that Kingdom if we but follow the precepts and Commandments of God and His Son Jesus Christ the very Savior of the World of whom I testify.

Well I love you all and hope that this week is full of enjoyable adventures. Love you all and have fun!

Love, Elder Paxman

We are a Christ centered church!!

*A little note before you read this letter that will help explain some of the context. Elder Paxman’s greenie unfortunately had to come home last week; he was given an honorable medical release.  Elder Paxman has really struggled with this process as he has grown to love his companion very much and was sad to see him leave. 

Dear Mom,

Okay, so first on the list of things I guess.

Where are you living?  Who is your companion? Are you on a bike or in a car?  Were you able to stay with Elder Seegmiller until he came home?  My address is still the same for now. It is kind of confusing because I am living with the Nehrings in Columbus, as well as in our apartment in Seymour.  That leads me to the next thing, I am in a trio, haha and this part is good, I am with Elder Blood and Elder Rowberry!! We are covering both of the areas. So we also have a full time car. I kind of wish though that they would have just given me one of the visa waiters, it would have been easier.  I will miss Elder Seegmiller he is a great friend. He did indeed stay with me the whole time. In fact I gave him a hug and said goodbye and helped him load his luggage into the car that would take him straight from there to the airport. My friendship with Elder Seegmiller was in my opinion amazing. We were very close, at least in my eyes. We left on really good terms, one of the last things he said was, “I will see you at your homecoming”!  So that was nice and I really hope to see him there.

Anyway, funny thought, Elder Rowberry "killed me off" as we say in the mission (Elder Rowberry was Ben's companion when he had to come home on medical) and now it is my turn bwahahaha.  I will kill off Elder Rowberry! (Elder Rowberry will finish his mission in December)

Were you able to get out and teach much this past week with all that was going on? Did Bertin make it to church this week? We were able to teach a little bit, not much. This week though looks as though it will have some promise! Bertin was able to come to church with us this last week which was awesome and so was Carlos. Carlos also had some amazing comments and testified of the power of prayer in Priesthood it was amazing. He will probably make his date of the 29th unless something goes awry.

Have you heard any details on the possible sealing of the Diaz family and if the President will let you attend? I have not heard about the sealing, but I am sure President would let me go up, if not I will freaking walk!!!!!!!!! I am very excited for the day that they go and get sealed in the temple! It will be an amazing experience for many. I hope and pray that I will be able to go. I will definitely get a hold of them at the end of this week to get all of that sorted out. 

I shared with him that we attended the farewell of a family friend.  At this farewell another returning Elder also spoke and was telling a story of a man named Nefi.  The missionary  realized he was saying Nephi in Spanish and soon apologized.  The congregation thought it was funny. I am glad that Brayden will be serving; it will be a great blessing to him for the eternities. Yes Nephi in Spanish is pronounced Nefi. It does become a habit; we do not get it as bad as some Spanish speaking missionaries because of our being in the states.

We celebrated our anniversary and I shared with him the sweet things his dad did for me. Man I am glad I do not have to worry about pleasing women for another 7 months, it makes me at ease haha. 27 years, wow I can't believe it has been that long. haha Dad has always been good at being "cute" like that. I bet he enjoys doing it as well haha. I hope to be like that, I have watched Dad carefully to try and mimic his ways, although he will have to teach me the tricks of the trade when I get back. That sounds like a really fun anniversary.

We went and saw Shrek the musical, do you know about it?  It was funny slapstick humor. I do and the musical is pretty funny as well. It is not one of my favorites, but I do rather enjoy it. Dad and I probably would have laughed at the funny bits you mentioned, haha.

I hear you are in for a COLD 10 days, have you heard this as well? Yea that is what I have heard as well, we are in for a few cold days... So we will see how all of that goes.

Any ideas for things you might want/need for Christmas? For Christmas, first more music!! There is an LDS artist named Christian Hobbs, I have only heard a few songs, but I really like it so that would be awesome! Also any other music, and maybe some ties. That is all I can really think of right now...

We were excited to hear you had gained 6 pounds, which is the first weight gain you have had in a year. I know it is the most weight I have put on in a while because I am finally feeling kind of fat, which has pushed me to exercise a ton! So now I am starting to get some serious abs!! Probably not as serious as I think, but hey one can dream! Plus I feel as though I am getting stronger, but we will see as time goes on.

Okay so now thoughts on the last week, which involves the spiritual thought. This last week in reality was really hard for me. I had grown so close to Elder S. it was hard to see him go. I balled like a freaking baby... oh well. There have been many things I have learned from this experience over the last 3 weeks. I will touch on a few of them today. One is the simple fact that we are a Christ centered church. Often times people get so wrapped up in the Book of Mormon and in all these different things, that they forget who the Book of Mormon testifies of. A fellow missionary brought up something this last week that rubbed me so far the wrong way. It had to do with an investigator who knows the Book of Mormon is true, but its struggling with some of the other things. One, for example is his testimony of Joseph Smith. Anyway the missionary said something like. "well having a testimony of the Book of Mormon is all he deserves... what else does he expect to get.". I just about lost it!! I will tell you and everyone else right now, that we all deserve a lot more than that, especially those who are still coming to know of the truth of these things. It is said that the Book of Mormon is the keystone to our religion, this is true for a few reasons that I will not go into. But something this missionary and others forget is that just having a testimony of the Book of Mormon is not enough to save you in these last days. The Book of Mormon which I know to be the word of God is an amazing book, but it must not replace or substitute the corner stone of our religion which is Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon is "Another testament of Jesus Christ". With that little splurge of slight frustration, I wish to say something more. It is in Christ Jesus that comes Salvation, for there is no other name given under heaven wherein the children of man might be saved! Jesus Christ is indeed the Living Son of the Living God!! I have come to know this with a surety in these last two weeks. I have known for a long while, but this experience has helped me to know that even more. I want my words to go down with those of old, Testifying that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world, that He suffered and bled and died for us. He is the great I Am, the very Prince of Peace who one day will return again to reclaim his people. He loves each of us with such an intensity it is nigh impossible to describe! This love is shared and also shown by Our Father in Heaven. The most often and possibly one of the most important Doctrines that is changed by man is the Nature of the Godhead, and our relation to them. We are ALL sons and daughters of God, and if you are not sure about this I invite you to pray to know for yourself, for if you do so, with real intent, and doubting nothing, it will be made manifest unto you. We invite all to come unto Christ as well as to God the Father. We know that this is true, that God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son. I know it and I hope that many of you know it, and if not, use my knowledge and the knowledge of those around you to carry you, until that day when you shall know for yourself.

I love you so much mom and I hope that everything goes great for you back home! I can't wait to hear what is new with all of you in the next week. The days and weeks seem to fly by out here. I miss you so much, and appreciate your prayers. I love you so much and hope and pray you have a great week.

Love, Elder Paxman 

I felt like I ate a Cactus!

Elder Paxman and Elder Blood on exchanges

This picture shared to me by Elder Bloods mom via facebook.

Dear Mom,

You have snow on the mountains? I do love the mountains when they have snow on them; they look just amazing when they do. Although I prefer no snow, so I can go hike in them a lot easier. This week I am doing... Well I’m hanging in there, let’s go with that. Ha ha.

I heard that Indy had snow one day last week.  Did you get snow down where you are or just rain?  Are you keeping warm? We did get snow on Halloween night and I am staying warm for the most part. We have only had a few days of bitter cold, but we are getting more as the days go on.  I will get a blanket sometime; it is not on my priority list though.

I received a picture of you and Elder Blood. Did you guys have exchanges recently and in what town was the picture taken? Didn’t he come out with you just 6 weeks ago? He did come out the same time I arrived, and he is Elder Rowberry's greenie. I really like him; he is a good kid, with a good heart. We were on exchanges in Columbus and that picture was taken about oh three weeks ago or so.

I taught my first lesson to the Sunbeams this past Sunday, it was about music and the way it can make us feel.  I gave them all kazoos, harmonicas and little flutes to play.  Bribery works.  It is true the amazing influence that music has on each of us. Speaking of which where is that CD? I am bored with the CD's I have. Anyway, hahahaha man crazy kids, the parents probably didn't like you very much for giving the little monsters a bunch of loud noise making objects haha. But hey as long as you don't have to hear it right?!? Totally joking. (I did not refer to them as monsters, that is just Ben talking)

Every week I check Facebook and give him updates on his friends lives. Bro. Smiley I love that man, I bet his Facebook posts are just a riot and a half. At least Bro. Smiley is still staying on point with all the new social hub-bub. I knew about Tyler that started to develop right before I left. Summer is getting married!!!!!!! Freak Mom!! They are dropping like flies.  That is tons of excitement, I remember the last time I saw Christina it was in the MTC actually and she hardly even recognized me, mainly because of the new height and weight thing. Now I probably look even more different, seeing as I don't have the chunky squirrel cheeks anymore!! I give her till the time I get back and she will be married. So that is what 8 months. Joel does come home in December; I still do keep in close contact with him, usually once every other week if not every week. Cameron is every week, Trenton is usually every week, and my companion from the MTC Elder Johnston is every week as well. So yea I still keep in contact with a lot of the old buds. We are already planning a time for what we call. "Story time with the Bros" Or in other words where we just all sit around and B.S. and have a good time. (Is it bad that a missionary includes B.S. in his email..... Ah ni modo).

How was your weight at your appointment?  Your blood tests were sent to me, your Iron is still low, your platelets still high.  Sounds good with Doc. Flynn I am still taking Oral Iron, which doesn't bother me one bit.  My weight was 165 so it has gone up a little since I have been out here, I think because of my awesome muscles hahahaha, not really but hey one can dream. I will keep eating, don't worry.

So you did get Colton's bike?  Have you had it since transfers?  How is it working for you? What did you do with your bike?  Will you continue to ride a bike in the snow as long as you are in Seymour?  I got Elder Hjelms bike and we just talked for a brief second, and I think you are paying his mom, he said that the moms were working it out, and I said sounds great to me. I have had it since transfers and it is really nice to have. It makes biking not as much of a pain, we will probably still bike or walk in the winter so that will be interesting.   I still have the old bike and it will sit there or in a dumpster till a time and a place when it is needed haha.

Your prayers are more appreciated than many people realize, I can feel it as a tether that keeps me above water in the moments of darkness. I have always found it best to just jump in and get to work, but maybe for others it needs to be different.   I will elaborate how the work is going for me later on.

I did get your package and it was awesome thanks mom! I did realize that one was for my companion and I did see your little note scribbled on the side of it. I really liked all that was in the package.  Thank Nancy Thoreson for the banners they are awesome!!  I loved the food, everything thanks for that mom. The cologne did survive and it was much needed thank you.

(added after his mission was complete)  Elder Paxman's greenie at this time really struggled and we omitted all of the information from his blog, I'm now adding it so it will be in the printed version.

Well Elder Seegmillers parents worries might become reality, for a few different reasons, one some stuff might need to be fixed for him to function as a worthy full time missionary, and we are working on that stuff. Another is he is really down a lot of the time because of that whole issue. Things are getting better, but some of the work has had to take a hit, so I can try to address personal needs more. I do not know if talking with his family helped at all, I sure hope it did. It went well with President I think it was just for him, so they are working things out, we have some other meetings for him today too, so we will see how things go. The plan of attack is wait and see. Other than that I am not too sure. I feel like him and I get along really well, I hope I have helped him in these hard times. I want you to do something for me though if you can. It is asking a lot and I hope it is not over stepping bounds. I would like you to get his mothers number and call her for me, or reach out somehow. Whether just you or Dad and you it does not matter. I want you to just talk to them, imagine if I was struggling greatly in the mission and if someone were to call you. They need just as much help as he does in this situation, because even if this does go south I want both him and his family to know, that there are some people not far off who are here to help. I know it is asking a lot of you, but if you could do that for me I would be forever grateful. She is even welcome to email me if she wishes. Just be friends to them if you could. The example that comes to my mind is when I came home, I never asked what it was like for you or Dad in the process, but Aunt Deb, and some others told me a little bit about it. I really want to help him and his family, even if it turns out that he does not stay, I want them to know that I will not leave him hopeless or abandoned. So please if you could do that it would be great. Your prayers are more appreciated than many people realize, I can feel it as a tether that keeps me above water in the moments of darkness. He seems to be doing better, maybe because I have slacked off on the driving force of the work. I always found it best to just jump, but maybe for him it will be different. I can get him out to do the work the problem is he feels sick doing it, and that it just puts him in this mood as if someone just smacked super hard and is making him feel guilty. 

How is the work?  How are your investigators, especially Bertin? The work: So we have no new investigators and this week was really slow. One, because I got sick twice! From the same stinking restaurant, so I will not be going there anymore. It’s called El Nopal or the cactus in English and it was like I ate a freaking cactus with all the spikes on and everything, it was awful!! It was even bothering my companion. We pretty much tract to find people and sometimes PC, but it is very rare that we do that. Lessons, number wise was really small, Bertin is coming along slowly but surely, he should be coming with us to church again this Sunday, which will be great for him. He is so close I can just feel it; I am just not sure what we need to teach to get him to just fall off the fence so to speak.  I have a few funny experiences I want to share, but they are kind of long and I am running low on time so I will share some another time, also they probably aren't as funny in English...?

Okay, now the spiritual thought I want to share, and how I am doing go hand in hand. Honestly mom, at times I feel like just rolling into a ball and rocking myself to sleep. It takes a lot out of me when I see investigators and others struggle. I always seem to feel like I have not done enough... like I can never do enough. Overall these events of recent have really gone toe to toe so to speak with my emotions and spiritual well-being. I love this mission with everything I have, if that has not been blatantly clear, then I do not know how else I can say it. I have fought for it many a times and I will fight again. This week we had a pretty in depth discussion. The central idea was this. "How do you know that God loves you?" As this question was asked to me, I at first did not know quite what to say, all I knew is that he does and I could not deny it. I remember trying to tell people what it feels like to feel his love, but never being able to come up with just the right words.  I pondered back on moments in my life where events transpired to the point where I was either alone or in the hospital or really sick or whatever it was. Several thoughts raced into my mind. One was of an experience I have told no one about.  I feel it appropriate to share at this moment a little bit of those thoughts.  I of course will still not disclose all of the experience though. It was the day I came home from the mission, I tell people about that day, but always leave out the part of getting off the plane in SLC.   I was walking through the concourse and nearing the area where I come to the escalators to see my family waiting, those who you have waited so long to see.   I stopped in the hallway that has windows on one side and the little moving walkway and pictures on the other. I just looked outside and thought to myself... "So what is the purpose behind all of this? What is everyone going to think? Am I going to still be able to stay strong in the gospel? How long till I recover fully? As well as many other questions. I remember I hadn't even said a "prayer" so to speak, besides the one I try to carry in my heart always. But I had this kind of gradual sense as if someone was standing beside me supporting me, looking out the window with me.  It was so real, I looked to see if anyone was there, and there was not. I remember almost an audible voice yet not, almost as if someone was placing thoughts into my heart and then kind of giving me a nudge in the right direction. That feeling, to this day rings in my heart as well as many others. I remember looking back out the window and seeing the mountains and everything I had given up to serve, I almost didn't want it; I almost wanted to go back to the flat lands of Indiana. Those thoughts were swept away in an instant and I had the feeling that “this is where you are needed... This is where you belong at this time in your life." I then looked at where I knew my family would be waiting and walked on, while putting a huge smile on my face. I do not know if I have ever felt as alone as I did in that moment, even though there were streams of people around me. It didn't even matter, the feelings I felt in that airport that day are a living testament to me that God loves me and all of his children. Even and maybe especially when we feel abandoned or alone in this home away from home we call earth. Everyone can feel of His love if they but seek it out. I don't know if in the airport I was seeking it out, but it sure did find me in the moment when I needed it most. I knew I was where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. Now even though I am back on the mission, I know as much as I have ever known that going home was what was needed at that time in my life, I don't know why, and I may never know exactly why. Heck there could be a thousand different reasons, but I am indeed forever grateful that I was needed elsewhere than the mission field at that time in my life. I have grown stronger because of it. The Lord and our Father in Heaven work in often mysterious ways. Unto which small things in the sight of man bring to pass mighty things. Who knows maybe one day I will look back and be able to see why I went home or at least one of the reasons.  (Fingers crossed to meeting a hot wife in the mission!! Ha ha Just kidding.  Just lightening things up.) But not knowing is also some of the surprise I think. Anyway I have probably rambled a little.

Well Mom I love you so much and I hope that everything goes well for you and the family back at home. My prayers are often with you. I am excited to hear about the next weeks adventures, and hopefully this letter was needed by someone. Well I love you and I can't wait for the CD and the day when I get to see all of your smiling faces again. (Well actually, I can wait for a nice long 8 months ;))  Love you all and have a great week.

Love, Elder Paxman