I'm Getting Transferred! I'll go where you want me to go...

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good. Freakishly stressed for a variety of reasons, the biggest of which is I am being Transferred!!!! I am so sad to be leaving this area. Although I have been sad leaving every area. So at least I am used to it by now. So, like I said I am going... Which has its ups and downs, but I wish I was staying. As far as details go, President has changed how he does things a little. Unless you are being trained, you have no idea what is happening till you get to transfers. So I am freaking out!!  I have no idea if I will stay DL or be going back down to normal missionary... That could be very nice. Elder Ryan is staying in Columbus which is good for our investigators he is such a fun kid, and in Seymour Elder Porter is getting transferred and Elder Baird is staying. Also, because of transfers hold off on mailing any letters or anything.

I have also started something you might find interesting. I think Griff challenged me to do it. When I had 138 days left I started at section 138 in the D&C and am reading it backwards one day at a time. It is crazy!! I like it though.

Do you think this will be your last companionship change or do you think you will have two more before you come home? I bet I at least have 2 more companions before the mission is done though.

So you have been getting a lot of snow and cold how is it? The snow was awesome. I quite enjoy snow, the cold no, but snow yes indeed!! We were able to do lots of shoveling service so that was really nice. hahaha I do not mind the snow at all though. Although, you guys do need the moisture over there at home big time.

Did Calin (his cousin) write and tell you about his mission call?  He did. He will love it! I am jealous, that will be so cool for him! I hope we get to spend some time together before he leaves on his mission. That would be really nice to see him once before he goes.

To the family: That is awesome you were able to go and see Bailee’s show of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I bet she loves it! Well I know she does haha. She told me she highlighted her hair, I bet it looks good on her, although I would have to see a more recent picture. I am sure you do get lonely with Brooklyn being gone so much, although you realize that there is a possibility of within a few years of me coming home, I will be gone too? Also Brooklyn will be in High School which means even more lonely. I hope Brooklyn’s knees start getting better, I am sure that does not feel good when they hurt. All these cousin weddings, Alex and I both agree, "They are dropping like flies!". I am happy for them though. Here soon he and I are next in line for marriage as far as the grand kids go!!?? HA!! Yea right, maybe in like 4 years or so!!

How is the work?  How are your investigators?  Who is the Karina Banda you mentioned I don’t think you have told us about her? The work has been good; we still have been teaching both Sergio and Judy, so that is really nice. Although, neither of them were at church this week which was a bummer. Yea I have mentioned Karina Banda before. She is the one who asked me what I was thinking and also the one I gave the tag to. She is 28 and married. It is crazy! I also hope that whomever takes my place does the work and helps this area grow. I have grown to love many people in this area. I will miss them. Although on to a new adventure right?!

I’m glad you enjoyed your time in the temple.  It’s such a blessing in our lives. The temple is amazing and it will be great when the one here in Indy is done.

Would you like a Spanish CTR ring sent to you instead of your English one?  We have the camera ready to send to you as well. If you want you can get a Spanish one that looks really cool. That would be awesome. You can also include it on the chain. Just get it maybe a half size smaller than the one I have or the same size. You will want to post-pone the camera mainly because of the transfers. So when I find out where I will be I will let you know. If you could send me a blank SD card that would be great as well, then I will send you the older one. I have tried to take pictures when I remember, but it has been hard.

How are you doing after being sick a while back?  Are you watching what you eat? Do you need more antibiotics to have on hand? My stomach is doing pretty good, some days better than others, but for the most part doing good. I watch my diet more than you know mom. Although I have found it is much less what I eat, as it is how much. I have to really watch how much I eat. I have no anti-biotics right now. So I am on the C ones right now. I can't remember what they are called.

 I would agree this has been some of the best times of my life, along with many other moments throughout my life, I am sad to see that they are going so fast... Oh well we will go on and do our best.  Okay so now some stuff on the work. So with Karina it has turned very sad. We ran into problems with the cousin that lives there as well as the husband. They do not want us to come back, and let’s just say they were very forward about it. I hope all goes well there, even with the new Elder who comes in. She means so much to me in my second mission life. I hope and pray that things will get better every day. We are hoping to at least be able to stop by and get a picture and swap contact info. So we will see how that goes. Sergio is doing well, we have another lessons with him tonight. Judy I probably won't be able to see before transfers which will be sad.  We have found more people to teach and I hope they pan out for the new companionship over the next little while. So hopefully all will go well with this area. I will be sad to leave it.

This week was a very trying one in many different ways... Sometimes I feel we are tried not to see if we will break, but to see how much we can take and keep going forward. I have been blessed with a life filled with joy and happiness. I have had the pleasure of seeing the miracles of God in my own life as well as the lives of others. I have enacted the powers of heaven to perform miracles many times in my life. Whether through simple prayer, through blessings I have received, blessings I have given, or simply actions I have done or the example I have been, and that others have been to me. I asked my Heavenly Father that there might be a miracle this week in the life of Karina with all these issues and problems that are going on... We fasted and prayed and worked hard to make it come to pass. Although, it has seemed as though it has not happened. I learned some very key things from this event, and I am continuing to learn from it as well. Maybe that was the miracle in and of itself. One thing that has come to my mind, is that of timing. We in our lives often ask for something and expect it now or in the near future. When we in reality should be willing to accept whatever time frame that God has set. Another thing I have learned is that a miracle is determined by the one who sees it. I have had many of them in my life some so incredibly small, others immensely large. Just because a miracle is not perceived as one does not mean it is not there. When we ask the powers of heaven to intervene in a cause, we in reality do not know by what means it may come. Some will be as the Brother of Jared others as Enos. In whatever form they come, it matters not. Sometimes we are the very means of heavens power that we ask to be given to those around us. So sometimes we just must simply be willing to be the miracle in someone else's life. Then at times when it seems that no miracle has happened, remember that you are still breathing, the world is still turning and prayers are still being answered. Miracles are an everyday experience; sometimes we just don't see them as such. I hope that we may be able to see that. At times I forget it, and when I do, life is a little harder to bear. To be happy is an active decision, only to be determined by the one who wishes to be happy. Miracles are there for the taking, and or ceasing, but only to those who are willing to look, no matter how detailed. Hope for me has come in the quiet moments when I can appreciate the very breath I take, the snow on the ground, the mountains all around, and maybe even the weight of trial of which I am passing. Hope, Happiness, Faith and Miracles are always there for those who are willing to see them. Well I hope that this week is a great one for you, and that it is filled with those things which you desire. As for me, I will be panicking and trying to figure out what is going on. So wish me luck. I love you so much and can't wait to hear from you soon.

Love, Elder Paxman [:{D

The Chicago Temple and a Sealing

Elder Paxman and Elder Ryan at a dinner following the sealing of the Ramirez family in Chicago.

Elder Paxman riding the saddle at The Texas Roadhouse for his 21st birthday last week.

A member took him and his companion. 

Dear Mom,

The temple was amazing!! The picture you have seen was taken at a chapel in Chicago after we went to the temple.  We went there and ate with the extended family and friends of the Ramirez family. So it was awesome. All those girls with us in the picture, by the way are sister missionaries that serve in the Ramirez families older ward that they used to attend. We rode with the Nehring’s but the drive was hatin it. The road sucked the whole way and it was way snowy. So that wasn't awesome. Chicago was freaking butt cold, but other than that, a really pretty city. We were only able to drive through it at night. So pictures of it are scarce. Also my camera was having a freak out when I tried pictures, so I switched to video, so I don't have many pictures, but I do have a few videos. It was a beautiful temple! I liked it a lot. It was amazing going to the temple after not having gone in such a long time. I loved every minute of it and the sealing was amazing! My first one, so that was awesome! The peace and revelation gained in the temple is amazing. I can't wait to be able to go back once again, when I get home. Also I still have one more temple trip available before I return home. This one counted for the last six months. So it was amazing. I got to watch the old video again, which was nice, but I wanted to see the one I haven't seen yet! Oh well, one of these days I will get to see it. No one else from the branch went besides the Nehring’s and one lady named Catalina. She went and did baptisms.

I will work on the haircut before transfers. (I saw in the picture his hair was long, I told him he needed a haircut) Transfers are this next week... We will find out what is happening in this area here soon... My bet is that I am leaving... Which I do not want to, but that is my guess what will happen.

How was Texas Roadhouse for your birthday?  Tell Eddie thank you so much for the pictures. Yep I ate a pound and a half of steak and it was amazing!! Ribeye we even had to get it specially ordered. Eddie is a single member; he is coming back into activity. Great guy! I really like him a lot. I will tell him thank you from you for the pictures. He is a great guy and has returned into activity in the last oh probably 2 months. I really like him a lot.

How is the work?  Are you still teaching your 2 investigators? Can you believe that if I had not gone home, I would be coming home in a week!!! That is crazy to believe! It blows my mind, and I am thankful that I still get to serve every day! With Judy and Sergio things are going well. We are still teaching them, and we are hoping they can both make it to church this week. If so that would be amazing! We are continually trying to find people to teach and other than that, just doing our best.

Dad got your bike out because the weather has been nice. I cannot wait to get back on the motorcycle and enjoy that. It is snowing here finally. A decent amount too. 

I told him about our Valentines activities. What movie did you watch? Eddie said “The Kingsmen” is a must see! So add that one to the list! What movie did you watch with dad and Uncle Troy?  That is nice that Brooklyn and Mayce got to go to the Stake dance on Valentines. That was probably fun. I was always more of a tractor days guy myself! Yes mom I guessed the Chocolate covered strawberries. That is a dead giveaway. Brooklyn probably stole one too. Things don't change mom hahaha.

I sent him the picture collage I put together for his birthday. I was a cute little fart wasn't I?? ha-ha Oh how times change... Now it is like... "what happened!?" hahaha. Oh the days when life was easy, and all I cared about was how many snakes I could catch and bugs I could eat... Good times, good times...

So this week we had a Zone Conference with the two zones in the surrounding areas, and President was there. While it was going on, he turns and says. “Columbus Spanish, what is going on there?” I was shocked... I didn't know what to say. President is having a really hard time with this area, because he does not know why the work isn't going forward as it should be. There are a few reasons for this I believe. I won't really go into it too much today though. He paid us an amazing compliment though. He told the ZL's that he has some of the best missionaries down here and still not a lot is happening. I think we really need to be increasing the members trust in us, even more. I thought we had it, but I am not sure. That is the biggest issue that I can see at this moment, or possible issue. So we will see how this goes. Although I feel this area has grown well, since Elder Ryan and I have gotten here. We went from nothing to now two people on baptismal dates and some less actives coming back to church. This is all thanks to the blessings of the Lord. I really hope I can stay in this area, but most likely I will be transferred.

I have a question.  I would love feedback from anyone who reads the blog. I don’t know how I could get feedback, but if there is a way I would like to hear what they say. This is the question. "What do you expect out of missionaries?" I am curious to see what people say. (I think if you want to email him your thoughts ideas that would be great, benjamin.paxman@myldsmail.net)

Oh actually before I forget, I was wondering if you could do something for me. Could you get my CTR ring and get a dog tag chain and put it on it, and if you could then send it out to me that would be great. I never liked wearing it on my finger a ton because it bugged me, but around my neck, I can do.

Anyway... So this last week was really good. Karina Banda came to church this week for a bit. It meant the world to me. I was so happy that she was able to come. She is very dear to me. I can't remember if I told you this or not. So when I first met her with Elder Rowberry and Elder Blood, I had this distinct impression come to me, you will impact this women's life and she will do the same to yours. She, I truly believe is one of the reasons I came back. It has meant the world to me, to be able to get to know her and grow close to her. She is someone I hope to stay in contact with for the rest of my life. We were talking to the branch President last night about this. We were talking about what can we do to make this area flourish. I have felt that this area has the potential to baptize many and bring many others back. This area can be a great area. I have felt it, and I have felt it about everywhere I have had the privilege to serve. I know that this work is progressing. I am sad that I will only be a full time missionary for a few more months, but I am determined to prove faithful. In another man’s words, that I now take as my own; There are many souls whom I have loved, and to them I am determined to prove faithful. At times in my life, I have felt as if I have failed. I have felt it at times in the last few days; many times this is the adversary working his wiles and schemes to make us doubt ourselves and the potential of others. I know that I am so far from perfect and that I continually make mistakes, but I also know that every day is a new day, and that I can become better than I was and make up for my mistakes, through the Atonement of Our Savior. I hope to prove faithful in that great and last day and every day to it. I know there may be days I am not, but that if I try, I will get there, and so can everyone else. There is a section in the D&C I believe 76 and it states what kind of people will be in the Celestial Kingdom of God. It is those who will Overcome all by Faith in the One who has loved them. That is not exactly how it is phrased, but oh well. President gave us a compliment that was amazing, he said something like: "in the last year and some change we have had many missionaries come and go, but I feel that the 4 Elders we have now are truly great missionaries" This was touching for me to hear, and something I needed at the time, for I had thought that I had failed. We are destined to succeed if we but try. I have seen it in my life; there are times, when I feel that I am truly lucky to be alive. I know that I am. I hope and pray that I may live worthy of those extra moments I have been granted.

Well I love you all so much and hope that this week is an amazing one. Remember that we are the makers of our own happiness not the substance to be acted upon (or the consequences of someone else's actions. Whatever sounds better) We are to be happy and joyful, it is stated again and again throughout holy writ. Well I love you so much and hope that you can all make this week one worth remembering! 

Love, Elder Paxman

[:{D

I don't feel older!

Happy Birthday Elder Paxman!!

He is 21 years old today! 

His letter is below, but I just had to add a few pictures first!

I scanned a few pictures of our sweet, cute little blonde boy.

Now he's all grown up, but still just as sweet.

I am very proud to be his mommy!

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes!! I really liked the package mom it was great! I loved the little book!! It is amazing, I want its counterpart which I think is the little missionaries quote book, or something like that! Although I want it too!

Is your camera working good enough to take pictures? Are you taking pictures?  I am taking pictures, it is hard when the camera does shut down every once in a while.

I know you don’t usually choose birthday cake, so what would you have chosen in place of cake?  I would have Peanut Butter Frosts for my B-day dessert.

Do you have any fun plans for your birthday? We are going out to eat with an awesome member named Eddie tomorrow. He is taking us to Texas Roadhouse!!! He said we are all buying the biggest steaks and eating to our hearts content!! Maybe I will even ride the saddle!!

Are you going to the temple soon with the Ramirez family?  Are you still going to be able to do that? Brother Ramirez, Erik went and got Endowed this past week and we are going this Saturday. They are getting sealed this Saturday. So we are going to go do Endowments and then go to the sealing.

What do you think of a cruise for Christmas instead of spring break?  I am do down to go on a cruise!!! That would be awesome!! Especially since I want to work on having a rockin bod by the time we go ;) bahahaha. Yea right I enjoy junk food too much. Sounds like a fun Christmas to me!! I will look forward too it. What if I have a girlfriend though? hahaha if only mom... If only.

I told him we had the kids over for homemade Café Rio salad on Sunday and thought of him for his birthday. Also that the weather was so nice we went for a Sunday walk.  I am jealous of the weather!! When I get back it will probably be in the 100's and way hot! Here it is cold and snowing off and on. It was warm the last two days though. Homemade cafe rio salads huh... I would have had to adjust that a little. Salads are for rabbits, that and I can't really eat lettuce.

How has your health been?  Feeling better?  Does Sister Steadman check up on you frequently or just let you coast along? I am feeling better, today I am doing alright. I am not sure if I should start the anti-biotics or not. I hesitate sometimes to take it. I will get it in the works to go get my blood drawn soon.  She usually just lets me coast along. She calls and checks on me probably once a month, unless I let her know that I am sick.

We enjoyed your story last week and are glad you were a good example. I know missionaries can get a little rowdy, and that is fine. But there is a very fine line. Maybe I am just a stickler though. I am glad as well that we were able to be examples for one another and hopefully rightful representatives of the church. We goof around too, but it is all in its own time and space. I am glad you enjoyed the story and everything that came with it afterwards.

How are Sergio and Judy your two new investigators doing? Is Judy an investigator or a less active member? Sergio is doing really well, we had a lesson with him today that went really well. We have one with Judy today too! So that should be really nice and fun. They are both progressing well, Sergio very very quickly. Judy is an investigator although she feels like a member a lot of the time haha.

Do you think you can get a baptism before transfers? That would be awesome for Elder Ryan. That would be amazing, but transfers are in just a few weeks, so I am thinking that will not happen, unless we stay for another, which is near impossible.

How is the new convert Carlos doing? Carlos comes to church every week and is doing well. They struggle at times, but they are still active and are trying.

How are the Seymour Elders?  Have they still been teaching Bertin? The Seymour elders are doing good as far as I can tell. We will be going on exchanges here soon with them. Bertin though is now not taking lessons which is really sad. They ran into him having a huge bible class with a bunch of other people and he told them he had found his church... This broke my heart mom... I still believe one day he will be baptized. I have felt it, I just know it!

Are you still enjoying being DL?  What do you do at a DL meeting and how often do you have them? I am still enjoying it. It is stressful, but worth it at the same time. We have them usually once a week. It entails training's and talking about the work. Helping lift and inspire on all fronts.

Have you heard from the Diaz family?  How are they doing? I have not heard from them. I am going to give them a call this week, to hear how they are doing and everything. From what I know they are still doing well and going to church and everything. We will find out here soon.

Do you feel old now that you are 21? I am trying to get back into working out really hard in the mornings; it is hard to get motivated to do that sometimes. I have been working on drinking a lot more water as well, just to be healthier and everything. I don't really feel a ton older, yet I do... So yea that hasn't changed much.

I shared a few fun memories from when he was a little boy.  Hahaha the good old days when all that mattered was how many bugs I could kill, snakes I could catch, adventures I could have and time I had with dad, good old times. Now there is a lot more to worry about, although I enjoy just feeling like a kid sometimes. hahahaha. We will always be your little kids though mom, even if we live far and grow up and do other things. That is one of the promises isn't it? Although some of those memories I would rather not remember... hahaha so yep it feels so close yet so distant, as does much of the past and the future, so might as well enjoy today, before it becomes the same.

Okay so my spiritual thought and then I will wrap up. So we had a lesson this week with one of my favorite people in this area a LA (less active) named Karina Banda.  She is an amazing lady that I have come to love. I have had a many spiritual experience with her.  So it starts with Saturday, we were there visiting, and I told her something. "So it is my birthday on Monday and I only have one wish..." She asked what it was. I said "I want to see you in church this next week. I will save you a spot and everything. So she thought about it and said YES!!!! I pinky promised her on it. (yes literally). So she told me she always sat in the back right. I said okay, then I will be waiting back there. So about 45 min before the meeting she texts and says she won't be able to come. After much time giving her a hard time, I said okay. I will keep up my promise though and sit in the back right, all alone. So I did. We also got pictures of it. So anyway, later we were going to swing by seeing as she wasn't at church. We had Hno. Creast with us, who is an awesome guy. So we went and were able to talk to her for about 3 hours!!! It was long, but I think amazing! We talked over many things. The biggest one and the one I will talk about today is this. "You make your own happiness!" I realized that I had learned this or had to learn it early in my life. We are the makers of our own happiness. For we are here to have Joy as the scriptures say. So it was amazing. I feel so strongly about this. I have had an interesting life, and it has been filled with so much emotion. Gladly probably the biggest one is joy. Sheer happiness to be alive. Enough to smile at people and see them smile back. I have tried many times to be happy in my life. It is very hard some days, but it is so worth it! I love to laugh and have a fun time as do everyone. So we just try our best to be happy and move forward. For me it is in the little things. God is in the details for me. He is in the letters from home, the smiles from a friend. The letter from a girl you have had the biggest crush on since you met her. The love of the Lord, and so many other things. I truly know and testify that we are the makers of our own happiness!! SO be happy, make it happen, it will be hard some days. I know it is, trust me. Although I know there is always something to be happy about. There are always starts no matter how dark the night. The dawn breaks even in the darkest of days. I love this gospel and the happiness it brings me. I know it can bring it to the entire human race, if they but accept it. "So love your life, perfect your life, and beautify all things in your life. That way when it comes your time to die you can sing your death song, and die like a hero going home" I love that quote. Happiness is to be had, so my challenge is to go find it.

I love you so much and sorry this email is a little shorter than some. I hope you have an amazing week filled with the true Joy of the love of our Heavenly Father, for it is always there for the taking. I love you so much and hope you have an amazing week!!

Love, Elder Paxman 

"Done the Just"

Dear Mom,

I was sick on Monday, so I’m sorry you didn’t get email from me until today. (Wednesday)

Do any members know your birthday is next week?  Do you anticipate anyone celebrating with you and your companion? A few members know it is going to be my birthday, but not all of them. I would not be surprised if we celebrate it with a few people.

This is your last chance to make a birthday request. Anything specific you want/need? For the birthday package, I really am not sure mom. Maybe some music, or some ties or a sweater, or I have no idea mom hahaha. A book. Girls to write me, which would be nice. haha. I am really just happy with whatever surprise you get me. Or maybe just invest in a good looking helmet for when I come back or something. I have no idea surprise me mom!

I saw pictures on the missionary web site of some zone conferences.  Did you have zone conference? We had mini Zone Conferences at the end of January but not the big one, which should be here soon, probably in a week or so.

Where is Vernon?  Is it part of your area? I have seen charges to your debit card here and wondered where it is. Vernon is where we have district meetings.

Did you hear a lot about the football playoffs since the Colts were in it?  What about the Super Bowl?  Yes members keep us updated on the games and everything so I know the results and half the plays, so it was nice.

I noticed your debit card has been charged to pizza frequently in the last few days.  Have you been going out with members or just you and your companion? I love really good pizza and I have been craving it and if you remember I get on binges.  So, yes we had a little pizza binge.

How have you been feeling? Yea I have been feeling alright. I wasn't feeling very good yesterday, but worked through it as best I could.

That weather sounds really nice. I am really jealous of dad being able to take out the motorcycle and stuff. I am not going to lie I miss that a lot already...

How are your shirts, shoes, and pants?  Do you have holes or is everything holding up?  Everything is holding up decent. Of course, though everything is also getting quite a bit of wear and tear.

Any service projects this week?  No service this past week really. :/

How has the work been going? We had some good lessons. One was a referral from the English elders. It is a guy named Sergio who just had two surgeries and has had us over 3 times since Saturday. He is on a baptismal date and is doing really nicely. So we are really working with him to get him to progress towards baptism and conversion as quickly as possible before too much resistance comes and he has doubts. Another investigator is Judy, she is a funny old lady in Greenwood that we are teaching and she is awesome. So those are the big things that are going on in our area. We did go bowling yesterday with members for FHE, I did alright. A 127 on the first game and the second I was doing awesome but got cocky. I bowled strikes and spares till like the 6th frame and then stunk it up hahaha, it was really fun though. 

Do you get fed by the members there in Columbus?  If so how often?  Do you get fed Hispanic food or American? We get fed by members probably about 3 times a week sometimes less sometimes more. We eat a mix of things so it is interesting. I really like all the food we get; it is nice to get a variety. We have members from Brazil and Guatemala and Mexico so we get all sorts. I really like Guatemalan food as well as any other type of Hispanic food!!  

Do you think you will be in another bike area before the end of your mission? I have been riding a spin cycle and it’s killing my derriere.  I do not know if I will be in a bike area before the end of my mission or not. We will see I guess. Your butt kind of gets used to it after a while. I remember sometimes hitting a huge bump and it would hurt like a freaking beast! Mostly if it was a crotch shot or something then it would kill haha. Something that might help with the tush thing is to try riding it faster and with more resistance for shorter time periods. That might help. Or maybe doing intervals, that helps a lot.

Do you think you will transfer out of Columbus next transfer or stay? My guess is with this next transfer I will probably get transferred and depending on where and what I will be doing, possibly for the last area in my mission!! That would be crazy!! I wish I could stay companions with Elder Ryan for one more, but the likeliness of the happening is pretty much 0!

Mom I really liked hearing of your experience in the temple.  That is so cool that you were able to have the experience of that in the initiatory! I remember having some very amazing experiences in the temple. Has dad ever told you the conversation and story that goes along with when he and I were in the temple talking to the temple president? If he doesn't remember I would be surprised. It was an amazing experience for me. As I am sure it was for dad. Although I have never really told the story to anyone, I have kept it very sacred, but I am not sure if dad has shared it with you or not. I love going to the temple, I miss it a lot being out here on the mission. I am excited to go when I get back home. Also when we come back for the temple dedication... Right?? If you all don't come I might have to make a journey out here solo mio for that one.

Okay as far as other stories and experiences go for the week. Sergio is awesome and I am excited to keep teaching him. We always seem to have some fun stories tracting. One of which was we tracted a house and this man who had hair I swear everywhere except his eyeballs and he was shirtless. He comes out and the smell of weed smacks us like a ton of bricks and he starts talking with us a little and he is freaking baked. When we tell him who we are and he says "I think that is approaching the realm of Olmen"..... What the crap is Olmen is the first thing that comes to my mind? We asked and he said like a nothingness realm kind of thing or something like that. Pretty much this guy was so high I am pretty sure he couldn't distinguish reality from the video games he must have been playing. We got a good laugh out of that one. My companion and I have a fun time with each other and joke around and just have fun. Of course we do our best to get the work done as well.

(FYI this story is something I might usually edit out… but it is needed to understand his spiritual application.  I also thought it might be a lesson for all of us, to remember we are always being watched and should be examples) Spiritual thought time. Well actually another story to help illustrate it. It comes from something dad used to tell me throughout my life. He always used to say "I raised you differently..." After he told me this, he would always tie it with an example. Well this story links to that and comes from today. So we decided today to go get ice cream with some of the Sisters and a set of Elders. It was an open invitation to everyone, but only those two other sets could come. We went to this amazing place called Zaharakos. It is awesome and when we come back as a family, we will be eating here. Mainly, for the really good ice cream, but also because it looks like a really old fashioned parlor. It even has a museum there. Anyway it has this older feel that makes me feel like a kid in a candy store and honestly I love it. So we show up with the other Elders and sisters and we sit down and order. (by the way, really cute waitress... awesome!) Anyways, we get our drinks, homemade sodas which are amazing. After  about 5 minutes of being there the other elders and sisters start acting like freaking children! One was shooting spitballs the other was doodling on the paper mats they give you to cover the table. It had people on it and he was drawing beards on it and weird stuff. They were taking really dumb pictures and selfies and stuff. Pretty much acting like middle schoolers just older and dressed better. When the sandwiches we ordered came, it had the condiments in little containers on the side instead of on the sandwich and they whine about having to put it on themselves! Then they loudly complain about the music as well. (let’s just say at this point I was kind of ticked... Maybe I was in the wrong, but who knows) Well they are laughing really loud being annoying and we are in a restaurant, as missionaries! Now there are some restaurants where you can be a little more loud or whatever, but still this was not one of those occasions. So we are sitting there and I feel like I am babysitting a bunch of freaking whiny toddlers!! I was done; I could tell people were watching us, especially the staff. Both my companion and I felt that they were way out of line, as people and even more as missionaries!! Spit wads really!! So we get up to leave and my companion and I fake like we have to make a call and such so we can stay a little behind to clean up their mess the best we could. Spit wads everywhere, strange bearded children doodlings, and all sorts of junk. We were mad; we both know what it is like to have to clean up after someone, so we were not happy. We felt so ashamed to be there with them. So I left a bigger tip and we told the waitress upon leaving, we were sorry for how they acted. Not to be mean or degrading to them, but their conduct was NOT okay! She said it was fine, and thank you for apologizing. After leaving the restaurant, my companion and I said never again are we taking those two companionship's out to eat together. Maybe I am just old fashioned or just old and crabby in general, but acting like that is not okay, ESPECIALLY as missionaries. Having to apologize for other missionaries conduct in public is not okay at all. Maybe I was out of line, maybe I am the one who needs to loosen up or whatever. I do not believe so, but I should not judge. I felt like I wanted to walk away from the table. It saddens me how people act at times. I know it is fun to be with other missionaries and have fun, I love having fun, but there is a limit to all things. We are called to be servants of Christ. Yes we are still young and some are even teenagers, yes we still make mistakes, but I want someone to be able to watch me with any one of my friends on or off the mission, and be able to say. "There is a man who is good in character, not just popular in the people’s eye." I want to be known as a good man, not just a good missionary. Who I am and who I want to become are some of my greatest gifts to give to people. Yes we all make mistakes and need to improve, but sometimes we need to have been better 2 years ago! Uchtdorf quoted that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but since you didn't do it then at least you can do it now. I have never been a really "popular" person. I have never been a hermit either though. One reason I believe I have not been “popular” is because I chose not to be. Sometimes being popular and loved by the masses means bending your character to the point of permanent damage, or at least to the point at which great effort is required to fix it. Having true character and being a good man or women is far better than fitting in with the crowd, or being "popular" in my opinion. Think of the greatest life this world has ever known. Most of His life if not all of it, He was in no wise considered popular!! Yet He is the best man I have ever come to know! For us to follow His example we have to be willing to sacrifice what the masses think for what the one thinks, or sometimes not even anyone, but God. Greatness is not determined by the critic who stands on the sidelines, but by the man in the arena, with the bruised body and bloodied knuckles, who has fought for the right and "done the just". This is hard to do, because we all want to feel loved, but I can tell you now, it is far better to be loved by the few, who truly care, than the many who don't even care. I have been blessed to have some friends both on and off the mission in whom I hope to keep into the eternities. They are those few souls that have impacted my life, and I hope to have impacted theirs in some minute way.  I continually hope and pray for the greatest blessings to be upon their heads. They are those whom I call family, and close friends, they are those I want to stand next to unto the end. I have tried to do this in my life. I have failed at times, and the consequences were indeed grievous. I hope to be a friend to those who need me when they have nowhere else to turn. I hope to be one of the angels spoken of in D&C 84:88. We all can be, and we all should be for at least some "Poor Wayfaring man". For we would want someone to do the same for us!

Character is built by the forge of life, and we can either strengthen it or weaken it. The only determining factor is what you do with what you have been given. Well I guess one of the big factors anyway. I may not be able to stay friends with some of those I have met, maybe things in this life will prohibit that, but I will value those memories and experiences I had with them for many many years to come. So chin up and keep going, popularity is only what you take it for. I do not wish to be popular, even though at times I try to aspire to it, as we all do, I am trying to get better at this. I wish to be known as a man of character, a man of Integrity and a man of God, even after the mission is done. Even before it was something I wished. Those were my thoughts, and little rant of rage hahahaha.

Well I love you so much and I hope that everything goes great this week! I am very sorry to hear about Sister Dumont.  I will definitely keep her in my prayers.  I am excited to check the mail every day just waiting to see what shows up! Love you again and have a great week!

Love, Elder Paxman

[:{D  

P.S. D&C 84: 77,88.

Amazing scriptures that I hope to truly apply and feel. These are some of my favorites. As there are many more that go along with them. I fear the list would be over 100 scriptures long...