9 Weeks to Serve: Singles Wards, Vultures and Tigers!

Dear Mom,

This last week though was a rough one for me mom that is for sure. Not as far as health goes, but motivation. I will get into that later, well and it wasn't that bad, just different than I am used to.

I told him that we had a serious hair crisis with some highlights for his sister. Hahaha, you women and coloring your hair. I am sure it did not look that bad. Plus if Bai were to just keep it natural it would look plenty cute I am sure.  I am sure it was a lovely mess of things; I can see it now... ooohhohooh freak mom, I am not looking forward to those antics and female drama again, and I am supposed to marry one of you weird creatures!! The excitement level for that just went down a few solid notches. ;-)

Your aunt told me that your Cousin Alex is very excited for his buddy to get home so you can hang out.  I am excited to hang with him when I get home.

Thoughts on taking less active cousins to the singles ward with you when you get home? Singles ward!! What makes you think I am going to that torturous place where happiness and souls go to perish? You know how outer darkness is never shown to man for very long, it is because it would be a singles ward, where you are the only single!! Which is what actually happens!!!! It is freaking insane!! You show up the first time and they give you this dinky flower/boutonniere  thingie;  that says one of two things. Either: "Here I am a nice hunk of fresh meat!!" (Now imagine a a deer shaking its butt at a hunter who intends to kill the thing with his bare hands) Freaky I know!!!! Or option number two, (Some voice calls from the background) “Did anybody ask for a reject!! Anyone! No well if you need to find him, look for the flower!" What is this Prom!!! Freak mom, I am not even home yet and you bring that terrible place up. I would give a full discourse on singles wards, but it would take too long. Okay so maybe that was a little exaggerated... It isn't all that bad, just a giant meat market with vultures and tigers. You want to scare someone away... Send them to the singles ward. After you get friends it is alright. Until then, freaking nightmare! Now like I said maybe exaggerated, but it won't be as bad if you are one of the people who actually has a girl to sit with. Then you aren't in the recall section. Which in the ward I went to was the middle. Anyway, enough about evil things. ;)   I think his description of singles wards is harsh… remember the only time he attended one he was home for medical from the mission and his heart wasn’t in it, and all of his friends were on missions.  The people in the ward were actually very nice to him.

There is going to be a pot luck type gathering in Indiana when we visit, would you be interested in attending this?  Many members from Elkhart and Indianapolis will be there plus other returned missionaries that are there to go the temple open house. That would be awesome!! Although are we invited? I do not want to crash someone else's party I would feel really bad. Although that would be awesome! Plus it would be great to see some of the old missionaries again. Although, I hope to see Elder Hjelm before then. He is busy I am sure, and might not be able to make it to my homecoming.

How has the work been this past week? We continue to pray for you and your investigators. Thank you for the prayers. As far as the work goes this week, nothing too crazy has come up. We are really trying to find, and to this point with no avail. So hopefully things will improve on that front. I would love to find, teach and baptize a family before the end of my mission. Margarita is doing alright; she is still in the same place as she was before. She is so close mom, I can feel it. I just do not know when it will happen for her. I hope and pray that I get to see that day while I am still out here.

We did teach an English class this weekend which went really well actually. So we are doing that every Saturday and are hoping that it will open plenty of doors. There is a fiancé of a member here that we are really trying to teach. He has a desire, it is small, I think he is scared and a little nervous, but he is a really good man. So we are really hoping and working with him. Also we did find 3 really cool guys last week. They are not super interested at this point, but they are willing to have us come back. So we are really working on establishing friendship with them. Yesterday we went and spent time with them, watched some of a good soccer game, and also just talked about their lives and just hung out. It was really nice. They have potential; it will just take some time.

Have you heard from the Diaz family lately?  Will you get to see them before you go home? We will see them when we go back in July? I have not heard from the D family, I need to give them a call sometime and see how things are going. Thank you for the reminder to give them a call. Yea when I go down for my last doc appointment here on the 17th I really hope to be able to see them one last time before I go home.

You mentioned doing yard work, was this service? Yea the yard work is just for service, it is not too bad and I don't mind it.

You said you are working on listing or where you make an index using a map and list all the Hispanic people on it.  Is this to help with tracting.  It will help those that follow you as well. Yea we hope it will really pay off for those whom will come after us, and that we can really have a good base to work from. This week we will be in Frankfort for about half of the week really trying to help that area grow. So I am really hoping that all that goes really well.

Do you like the Branch President in this area? I really like President Horton, he is a really nice guy and way down to earth. He also has a motorcycle. So that is awesome as well. He has been the Branch Pres for a good amount of time, I want to say a good 5 years or so, maybe less. He has a family our size. He has 2 sons and a daughter. They are a super nice family.

Did you know Natalia Coffin had gone to China to do some sort of Study abroad? I actually did know that. Elder Labrum served in White River not too long ago, and she left when he was there, or close too. So he mentioned it. That would be really a really cool experience, although I would like to go to somewhere in South America or Spain. I hope she is enjoying it.

So more onto the spiritual thought. I have been thinking a fair amount about desires. I will continue to do so, because I have just started at the end of this last week. Well I found some very interesting things. As I mentioned earlier, this last week was really hard for me to get motivated, I am not even entirely sure why. My desires to really teach were just not as strong as usual. Luckily I would just drag myself out anyway. So I realized something, and I knew it, because we had been taught this principle since we were little, but it had never come to me so strong. That is this; that God grants us according to our desires. When we truly have the desire, God gives us the ways and the means to accomplish the task or whatever it may be. Many times it is just by helping us to continue to have those great desires. The will of one person can change the course of the world, not to mention the lives of those around them. Now Agency will not be hindered in this of course. But our influence will spread far beyond what we know, as I have come to find out. Now with me being unmotivated, there were several things I did to try and help. One of which was to try my best to be happy and go out there and do it anyway. Sometimes we obtain a desire whilst in the middle of the journey. Another one is when your goal is in sight it is easier to obtain it. For example I suffer from what I call hiker's syndrome. As many people can testify once I get to my destination or some point along the trail and I see something better or another peak ahead, I immediately press on to go to that mountain. Now there will always be more mountains so usually someone has to stop me or something else dissuades me from the next adventure. Overall though if we pray to our  Heavenly Father to help us to have a righteous desire, whatever it may be, He will help us obtain it. To me this just shows the great love our Father in Heaven has for us. He loves us so completely that He is willing to answer our prayers and even give us small mercies. Heavenly Father in reality cares for each one of us, so deeply and tenderly He is willing to give us what we desire. Now if our desires are not pure, we are the workers of our own destruction. I was talking once with a companion about this and how he thought it would be at the last day. We discussed it for a while and we came to the conclusion that we will judge ourselves just as much as He will judge us. Now this isn't doctrine or anything just the thoughts of some young men when they are bored. Heavenly Father will never force us to do anything. So if we like to drink, and have "fun" that is what we will receive. As Alma said Wickedness never was Happiness. I have learned that Sin is never happiness, but as many people know it sure can be fun. That is what makes things so tempting, if sinning sucked than nobody would ever even have the temptation to do wrong things. Fun is momentary and not all the time bad, Happiness and joy last forever if we let them. They are those memories we can look back on with joy and peace, and yes sometimes this does include fun, but I think you get my point. Some of my greatest memories are with Dad; we have had so many great times together. Like the time we tried to go Dove hunting on our pretty much last weekend together. The trip went anything but as planned, but we made the best of it, and I doubt dad or I will forget that trip for many years to come. I guess all in all, God will grant us what we desire, those who desire riches work for them till the point they obtain them. Therefore in a roundabout way, God grants them what they desire, no this isn't like a genie wish or anything. Desire means you are willing to work for it, I believe that is the difference between desire and want. Desire like faith is a concept of action, wanting like belief often times requires very little effort, and a thing of the mind. Now I am not the greatest with words so if I explain something wrong I am sorry, I hope this helps someone though. Desires are great if they are based on those things that matter most, and are of "good report". They can also be hindering if they are after something that brings about bad consequences. In my experience this week though I learned that we can always obtain those good desires, sometimes they take work in and of themselves, but they will come if we are willing to work. Dad used to say stuff like All things come to a man that works. Of course I phrased it differently, but overall to have righteous desires is the start to living a happy and righteous life. Now we must use those desires to fuel our lives and help us be better.

Well my thoughts were probably all over the place, but that has been my thoughts over the last week or so, along with a ton of others of course. Well I love you mom and you and the fam and many others are in my prayers often. I am excited to talk with you in about 2 weeks!! It is crazy that the time has gone by so fast! Then after that, I will only have around 50 days till you see me in person 8/ not sure how good that sounds. Well I love you and I hope to hear from you next week!

Love, Elder Paxman

10 Weeks to serve: "Lord, Thou knowest that I love Thee."

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good mom. Although you won't want to hear this, I am tempted to keep my SD card till I come home, to make it more of a surprise hahahaha.

How are you and your new companion settling in? We are settling in pretty good. We are different, but we get along well. I am interested to see if I will finish my mission with him and here in this area. We will see I guess.

If your companion is from West Jordan, did he attend West Jordan High school or Copper Hills? He went to West Jordan for a little bit, and then went to Itineras or something like that

How is your health?  Did you get over your cold? I am feeling pretty good. I have mostly gotten over the nasty cold, only thing left is the cough and it is good except at night. My belly has been doing alright. The drink was working really well, so I wanted to see if I could go without the antibiotics. I have been really tired lately, but I think it is just from the lack of sleep from the cough.

With transfers are you still a District Leader and if so were there any changes to your district besides you getting a new companion? I am still DL and we got a new sister. Her name is Sis. Bulman she is from Iowa. The sisters are really nice, other than that, the district is still the same. The number hasn't changed there are 3 companionship's including ours.

We are trying to plan our trip to Indiana for July.  How many days do you think you need in Indiana and which areas do you want to visit? As far as how many days visiting, as many as we can get! hahaha I would like at least 2 Sundays.  Mainly so I could go to some of the Sacrament meetings. We would have to hit two or three in one day. So it would be a little hard. Maybe do like Logansport and Lafayette Sacraments on the same day, and Indy and Columbus on another. I am not sure. I would like to take you to all of the areas, if I could. Although I am not sure how much time we will have. Elkhart only needs maybe one day. Logansport and Lafayette maybe 2 or 3. Indy maybe 2 or 3 and Columbus probably 2. So maybe like 10 days total in the mission area, just in case you want to see anything else. Also so I can take you by as many people as possible. It would help to plan if I could get in contact with people better. That will have to wait till I get home though. Also I will need to check with church times and everything. We can definitely talk more about it on Mother’s day. Also that way I know how many days the family wants and can spend and stuff like that. That way I can plan a little better on how to do things. So maybe like 18 days total trip. (He is delusional… 18 days. Ha ha :-D ) Also the thought came to me just barely if we only want to spend like 8 days in the mission that is okay. I can come back on the bike with dad or something again. Or me solo. Whatever works.

Mom.. That isn't good that Brooklyn has been really sick! Take her to the doctor! Goodness it reminds me of the time I broke my wrist nice and well, and it took you and dad like freaking 2 weeks to take me to the doctor. That is not exaggerating either! Okay so maybe it was like one week, but still, freak! hahaha.

That is good you did some yard work. I have been doing the same hahaha. Service of course.

You mentioned that you had a lesson with Franklin, isn’t he one of the people that was baptized a few weeks ago.  Do you keep teaching them after Baptism? We do keep teaching them, and they become a LARC after that. We usually keep an extra record with us for about 1 year. We teach them less, but still try to teach them when we can.

How is the teaching of Margarita going?  How has the work been this week?  Have you taught many lessons? Keep praying for Margarita mom. She is so close, so so so close. I can feel it.  She is coming to church every week pretty much, she knows it’s true.  I really hope I get to see her be baptized either before I leave this area, or before I leave the mission. You know whichever happens first. We teach an alright amount of lessons. We are really really working on trying to find more people to teach. Especially the elect. I kind of set a passive goal for me to find teach and baptize a family by the end of my mission. I really hope I can accomplish that goal. I will try my best. If not, that is okay as well. But I think it would be an awesome way to finish it out. Also baptizing anyone else I can find haha. If not though, at least make the difference in someone's life, even if it is just my own. (Which has already happened a lot!).

How was your Sunday?  Did you have a dinner appointment? We usually eat with President Horton and his family after church.

What are you plans for P-day?  Anything fun? Also as far as today, we did laundry, lounged and just the normal stuff. Tonight we will play b-ball with some members and that should be really fun.  We also have an FHE with some other members so that will be really nice.

Any unusual adventures this week?  As far as anything unusual I gave a golden statue of an angel to Margarita. It was in our apartment, and when I saw it the only thing that came to my mind was... "Has anyone heard of the story of Moses with the snakes? Anyone! Goodness freaking Idols in my apartment freak! I was going to junk it, well probably throw it in a river, (more fun), but she wanted it. So I thought that would be better than chucking it in a river.  Hispanics are super superstitious, I knew that before, but she did not want us throwing out that angel.  We are working on listing, which is where we get a street index and write down all of the Hispanics we can find on the streets so we can go knock on those doors later. So finding will be the big push here soon. I think I might have already told this story, but if so that is fine. So the Rodriguez family a while back with Elder Trapp and I, we were getting super duper close. So now I feel really close to that family. Well we are teaching Sis. Rodriguez and Jocy some English at times. Well this is some background. Other than the 2 kids that are with them here in the states they have two other daughters. One of which is dece. (Pronounced dees). Ask Bai or one of my friends what it means if you can't figure it out. So anyway she talks about them a lot. So Elder Trapp and I are leaving, and as we are walking down the hall to leave the apartment building she calls down the hall. "Goodbye son in laws!!" Of course Elder Trapp and I try not to lose it so she doesn't feel bad. We say bye mom, and get to the car. We laughed for a good 30 min. It was hilarious! So we told her and she laughed about it after. So it was really funny. I really love that family mom, they are amazing. Jocy reminds me a ton of Brooklyn it is crazy! Anyway so that was a funny story of the week. We had a few others, but I feel as though you would have to be there for them to be really funny. Also I play the hand slapping game with them; I think we call it bloody knuckles. They are either very slow or I am like freaking lightning!! hahahaha I wail on them, especially Jocy, she thinks I am magic or something. So that always makes for funny stories. Okay maybe one more. We were with the Rodriguez family and as we were talking Sis. Rodriguez stops and is like, you sound like a little kid Elder Paxman. She thought my voice sounded like a child. I was a little offended it reminded me of all the times people would mistake me for you or my sisters over the phone. So we laughed about that, and then she looks at Elder Labrum and says, although he looks like a giant baby... I couldn't help it I started dying hahahahaha mainly because people used to tell me I had a baby face all the time. It was really funny because he didn't understand what she was saying either!!! I got a kick out of that. Another awesome part about that is then the next like 5 lessons and meals with members they all said he looks like a giant 12 year old. I got a good bunch of laughs out of that one. I have felt his pain many a time.

How about the weather?  No chasing tornados..:) The weather has been warm, sometimes borderline hot. Some days have been rainier and cold though. Like today and yesterday have been pretty rainy and cold. hahahah I knew dad would agree with me about chasing a tornado, I mean come on, if you are going to have to go through one, might as well get pictures while it is still coming.

What do you think about me adding a countdown to the title of your blog?  I was thinking weeks. You can do a countdown if you like. Although days might be easier. Seeing as I only have like 68 or 69, something like that.

Okay so now onto more the spiritual. Again, as my mission comes to an end I think a lot about the blessing of being able to return. I expressed it to Pres. in an email once about I was curious what some of the reasons I was able to come back were. He has mentioned a few. This was from the response I got to that letter this week. There are probably a myriad of reasons you returned, but most important has been your example and influence on your companions and the members. You are also growing spiritually and establishing the church in each area you have served. You have an opportunity to help Elder Labrum become a confident and more effective missionary. Helping him realize his potential through your example of faith and diligence. That was really touching to me. It made an impact on my mind and heart. Also he said in an Interview once, that one of the things I needed to learn from coming back on the mission was Confidence. So I have thought a lot about that lately. I think Confidence comes from many things, but to me it is more directly related to the attributes of Faith and humility. Although I want to know what all of your thoughts are. What is confidence? How can it be built? Why is it important?  I have never seen myself as an example of anything to really anyone. I am but a young man trying to do my best. I do hope that I have impacted others for the better though. My second mission as far as I call it, has done many a thing for me in my life. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. That is for sure. I really hope I can be worthy of all the faith and love people place in me. I hope to touch the lives of people when I return home as well. I love you so much. I know that Jesus is the Christ, and that He indeed suffered for all mankind. His love for us is so amazingly unknown. I hope to prove myself worthy at the last day, so that I may obtain the blessings of an eternal family.  I know and have felt that this life is indeed a time to prepare to meet God. We will all meet Him again someday, and I look forward to it. I am so far from perfect or even tolerable, but I am trying to be better every day. “The man who travels the journey of a great distance risking nothing and has no troubles learns very little. But the man who makes another Journey, with the intent to learn, grow, and try to do things no one else has ever done before, they are those who learn a great many things, and help others learn along the path.” They are those heroes we think of. We all have our own heroes. And we all have our Champion, even the Savior Jesus Christ. I hope to be the man he needs me to be, so that I may not only be on the best path, but help others on theirs as well. I think often of Peter, who denied his Lord three times and whom later would have a personal appearance of the Lord. I wonder what happened in that moment. I am sure many tears of joy and sorrow were shed. Let us try to live our lives so when we come to meet The Savior of the World and Our Father of the Heavenly Courts, that we may be as Peter and say "Lord, Thou knowest that I love thee". So we may be worthy of all the blessings we deserve and wish to obtain. Well have a great week and I hope to hear from you again here soon!!

Love, Elder Paxman

P.S.  HR just told me he is getting married!!!  On the 27th of June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  I will just miss it by 3 days dangit!!!

The Lord invites us to change.

Dear Mom,

It does seem like a busy summer indeed! I am not looking forward to it as much as you are though... I am sad to see my mission coming to a close.

Did you know about the tornado warning they were having in your area last week? No and mom you just need to calm down, if a tornado hits here in Indy somewhere I will get video and then hide ;) bwahahahaha!! I think it would be so cool to see a tornado! Although not so much if it destroys things.

Brooklyn made MDT. She was so excited and we were so relieved. That is awesome that she made it! She will love it! So now the Paxman legacy will continue. I just had a freaky thought of Mr. Eaton thinking it would be cool to have us three in a musical number together... hahahaha no... That would not be cool, I would look like an idiot compared to those two on the stage.

Who is your new companion? Tell me about him. My new companion is Elder Labrum, he is from West Jordan, Utah. I knew of him before we were put together, but I did not know much. I think it will be a good companionship, he is very quiet and he has a good heart and I really like him. So we will see how the following weeks pan out.

How is the work? The work is going good and we have found a few new people to teach, but they are all in the beginning stages so we will see how they pan out. So we are going to keep finding as always and really work on helping people progress.  The baptisms last week went really well. We are teaching Franklin again this week so that should be good. Other than that, we are still teaching a few less active sisters, we are continuing to work with them and trying to keep the work moving forward.  We are still doing some service, we have a few things planned, but as of right now nothing too spectacular. As far as the teaching goes in general it is going really well. We are really working with Margarita Burton, she is a part member family that I have mentioned before. She is like a grandma to us. She is probably only in her 50's though. She knows the gospel is true she just has to make that jump. She is so close; I really hope to see her enter the waters of baptism before I leave my mission. So include her in your prayers. She is so close I can feel it.

Did you have flooding with the rain you have been having?  I read on the internet that there were some flood warnings in your area, because of the river.  We have not had any flooding that I know of, and we have had some rain, I wouldn't say a ton.

How are you settling into the branch?  Making good friendships and building trust with the members? I think I am making good friendships with many of the people in the branch. In fact we are going to go play some ball with some members tonight, which I am excited for.

Are the Branch President and his wife both Hispanic?  If so where are they from?  No they are both white. They are very nice people I really enjoy them, they are very nice.

You said you are getting fed dinners quite often, are you eating mostly Hispanic food or is there some American food as well? We are eating a lot of Hispanic food, but also American food. It is neither one way too heavy or the other. As far as the teaching goes in general it is going really well. Do you get together with the other missionaries from your district/zone for P-day?  Do you do fun activities? We do get together on P-day although lately we have not been going because we have been so busy doing other things. We will probably start getting together with them more often.

Do you have a washer and dryer in your apartment? We do not have a washer and dryer in the apartment itself. It is in the building, but we still have to pay for it. Which sucks!

How is your health? Are you still exercising? Only 11 weeks left to sexy. Ha ha. My health is hanging in there. Yesterday I was very sick, it stunk. I threw up and was in really bad pain all day... I really felt bad for Elder Labrum, he has been with me for less than a week and already has to deal with me being sick. So that really stunk. I feel a little bit better today, not full speed, but better and out working. I am still working out although I have also been trying to get over a really bad cold and cough which I have had for I swear two weeks now. That makes working out hard. But I am still trying, I am also trying to eat a little healthier to help with that. So now it is more like 11 weeks to not so ugly... Oh well...

The Lord does communicate with us in many different ways, sometimes we just have to be willing to listen. That is okay we drop the ball sometimes and that is okay as long as we try and improve more for the next time. Now for more of the spiritual thought. This week has been a good week; my mind has been put to thought on a topic I have thought about a lot at different times throughout my "second mission". One of the big thoughts I have been having is "why was I permitted to come back out and continue to serve...?" This question has been on my mind a lot lately. Yesterday with me being sick and all it was in the fore-front of my mind. I had a stark and very clear thought, I would say an impression. Well of course there are many reasons I feel that I was able to come back, but the one I felt so strongly about yesterday was this. I was permitted to come back, for me... The reason I was able to come back a second time was not because I didn't do a good job the first time, or because I had to come home to meet someone important, (although that could still yet to be foretold). I got the very strong impression that it was for me personally. I kept thinking well why. Several thoughts flowed into my mind. One was this, would we really be called to serve a mission for 2 years so that when the calendar hit 24 months we could just pick up where we left off. That is not only false, but a lie of the adversary, we young men and young women serve a mission to FOREVER CHANGE OUR LIVES!! And if your mission isn't doing that, or did not do that, then it is no one's fault, but your own. So the Lord invites us to change. Even missionaries I have seen come out on a mission and hate it for their time here has had their lives changed while here. So whether you serve for 5 months or 30 months the outcome is the same, lives are changed and the first is your own. Another thought that comes from that, there are still more things that I must learn while out here in the field. I have already learned so much, but it seems every day I learn more. Again, for me to remember that the mission is not just for two years, it is for life! Yes it is true the tag comes off after 24 or 18 or however many months, but the things we learn are meant to stick with us to and through the eternities! Many lives that a missionary will touch are found after the mission is done. I have struggled with the thought that my mission is coming to an end, and it is. I cannot change that no matter how hard I try, it must end. But the person whom I have become must get on and off the plane with me! If we leave what we have learned in the mission field; all the lives we have touched and all the things we have done, may be in vain, because we did not learn maybe one of the greatest lessons. The mission changes lives, and especially our own! Yes we go back and things change, and we change as well, but we must never forget whom we have become through those two years of sacrifice or however much time we serve for. The tag will go in a box and the memories will fade, but the person we become, must never be forgotten, in Elder Holland's words: "One missionary that goes less active is too many!!!..." Every member is a missionary, so every member that goes less active is too many! They are our brothers and sisters, the very sons and daughters of God! That is what we believe and teach isn't it?! So why at times do we judge those poor souls whom have left the church as being of less worth than those who sit next to us during sacrament meeting!? This should not be so. As I said last week, every soul is precious to God, and should at least have a piece of that worth to us! I learned that my second mission is supposed to have a profound impact on me. I may be the most important convert on my mission. I don't know, I just felt that this second time around is supposed to especially mean something to my own soul. Which, I felt it has had an impact and is continuing to do so every day. Now I and many others are so far from perfect, and that is okay, we are not meant to be perfect. But to try is worth more than we can imagine. I hope my mission can impact many lives, but if one person is to be impacted it better be my own soul. I am really sad to see these days go by. I am sad to see my mission ending. Although when it does, I hope to move on to the next phase of life, with a hope and dream of the future. Faith is in the future. If we don't fight today, than tomorrow we have already lost, in a way anyway. Every day is precious, everyday has a chance to change lives, and every day will count in the end. I hope we can use our days to the fullest and if we don't well that's okay, we try harder the next day, and keep going forward on the journey of life. Well I love you and I hope that this week goes well for you all back home!! :) I am excited to hear of the adventures of the next week. As I am excited to live some of my own. Well I hope you have a great week and I hope to hear from you soon!

Love, Elder Paxman

and Juan [:{D

EVERY SOUL IS GREAT in the eyes of GOD!!!

Elder Paxman and Elder Trapp on Easter Sunday.

Picture sent to me via text from the Branch Presidents wife. 

Dear Mom,

Were you able to watch all of the sessions of conference?  Where did you watch it?  Did you get any food as part of your conference weekend? I was able to watch all of the sessions of conference and they were amazing!! I loved them so much! We watched them at the church, like usual. We had food with Priesthood and also with the Sunday afternoon session.

Did you hear the people who opposed the sustaining vote of the First Presidency? Yea it made me mad, we laughed a little after the fact though, just imagining like a shoe flying from the audience and nailing the person who objected in the head, hahaha it made us giggle. People are ridiculous, they even managed to get President Uchtdorf in a little bit of a mood. Which I thought was impossible.

Did you have any favorite talks? Sister Burtons was one of my favorites. She did give an amazing talk, as did everyone. I loved Elder Holland's!! It was amazing, I really loved many talks this conference. Dad better get Saturday off for this next one in October, so our dinner tradition continues when I return!

Did you get your package? Was it all intact or did it fall out of the bags? I did get the package and I did get the candy, although my comp did not want any, and it was a little mixed up, so that means more for me!! Which is yummy, but sucks, I am getting fat mom!! I can't get fat!! I am though I am getting a gut!

Did you understand what the itinerary for the cruise meant when you saw it? I did and I was stoked to see it!! That made me excited! It will be fun to go and speak my Spanish as well! Plus by then hopefully I can shed all this weight and look lean and mean.

Transfers are this week?  Are you staying?  Is your companion staying? As far as transfers go I will be staying and Elder Trapp will be leaving. I will miss Elder Trapp, and I hope I get a good companion for this next transfer. So we will see how everything goes.

It seems like you had a really fun time with the wedding and everything. I wish I could have been there, but I am glad that I am out here. In fact I am really sad that so little time is left... I wish I could extend or something. Although that is never going to happen.  I did the math, and I will already serve a little longer than most missionaries. So that is a bonus.

How is the work?  Were you able to meet the goal of 20 lessons a week? The work is going good. This week we were not able to teach as many lessons because of conference and we did a lot of service. It was still great none the less. We did not meet the 20 lessons a week goal.  We were able to tract a little and we found a young man from Guatemala, he is really nice, so hopefully that goes well, and we meet with him tomorrow. The less actives we are working with are doing alright as well. They are hanging in there. Nothing too ground breaking.  We are going to keep working with all of them and hopefully things will continue to progress. We had Franklin and Santiago's baptism yesterday that was amazing. I had to conduct which was not fun... But it was really good overall.

How is your companion Spanish?  Does he hold his own or do you have to do most of the talking? I have to do most of the talking as far as Spanish goes, but he has a good heart and he is trying. So I think he will do just fine. He struggles with it at times, but he has got a good work ethic so it will all pay off. He is only 18 weeks in the mission.

Do you still do language study each day?  Do you still read the scriptures in Spanish as part of your language study? We still have language studies; we always try and have them. I am still reading in Spanish I also found the BOM in Spanish on CD here in the apartment. It is kind of nice when missionaries leave behind old stuff. So yep that is going good. I still do that, but Elder Trapp and I haven't done it together, but he reads it and I do.

How has your health been? My stomach health has been good, but I have caught a doozy of a cold and cough. Now it is mostly just in my throat. I hate colds, more than flu's. My throat is still bothering me, but other than that I am doing alright.

I am sad my mission is coming to a close, but I will do my best to work hard and still have fun. You know me mom... Okay so now as far as the spiritual thought goes.  The thing I have been thinking of a lot and was even addressed in conference is this; Nobody is too far gone! This is a very powerful and sometimes hard lesson to learn. We hear it so much from Apostles and Prophets, but I thought maybe from an ordinary young man, who has committed mistakes just as much, if not more than many who will read this, it would have more of an effect. If we are willing to give up those things we do that are wrong and return unto Him there is no distance too great nor too difficult. This is true for many reasons, but for one that I have believed for most of my life, and that is this: "The worth of EVERY SOUL is GREAT in the eyes of God." I have been blessed to see a fraction of the worth of many souls in this life. Believe that you are a daughter or son of God; you need not ever doubt your worth. No matter the sin, the mistake, the trial, the heartbreak, your worth to Him was enough to make worlds, send a savior, and offer as a sacrifice his only Begotten. Along with many other things. I wish to have a few words brought to your remembrance... "He is not here..." and because He is not in that tomb nor ever will be again, ours will only be a temporary place as well. If I could grab people by the shoulders look into their eyes, and peer into their soul, I would tell them that you mean something to HIM! I cannot say I love all of those who will read this email, for I have not met some, and others I know very little. This does not matter, whomever you are and whatever you have done, you are never too far from His loving embrace. The question is, are you willing to give up whatever it is to get there? It is a question I ask myself often, and sometimes it is harder than one thinks to give it up, but it will always be worth it, it will be worth more than we even thought. If we keep bettering ourselves and keep trying we will obtain the promise in D&C 90 (I believe), (This is the Lord speaking) "...You will see my face and know that I am..." What a great promise. I wonder when that opportunity comes, to see His face and know that He is, what will my reaction be. What will your reaction be? To me this changes as the days go by, but I hope that when that moment does come, I can look Him in the eyes and hear those sweet words "Well done thou good and faithful servant, you have been wise over a few things, I will make you ruler over many". Although I wish to change it a little. This is what I think it will be more like, "Son, peace be unto thy soul you have done as I have asked, come and inherit what is laid up in store for you". Many of us have and will fall short on the things He has asked us to do, but just because we fall short once does not mean we are doomed to fall short forever. Today is the day to turn around, to start heading back, the way is long, and hard, but it is with many journey's: The destination is only as good as the worth of every step. The journey is part of the destination. “If you do not ponder on the pathway of thy feet, both that has gone by, and that is yet to come, you will never reach where you wish to go.” Every day is a journey in and of itself, every week a legacy, but the life we live is just part of the adventure to be had. In my mind an adventure is the combination of a lifetime of journeys, and a journey is a combination of exhilarating events, we can perhaps call those seconds. Anyway I probably phrased that all funny. It is hard to put how you feel onto paper at times. Although I may never do it justice one can but try right? No pen or pencil can write the true feelings of one’s heart right? Or at least not all of them at once. Well this has gotten long. I love you so much and hope that you have a great week. You are in my prayers often. I hope this week treats you to many fond moments on the journey which makes an adventure. Anyway love you and I am excited to hear from you next week!

Love, Elder Paxman