The Amazing Miracle of Forgiveness

Picture of Spanish Training taken from Touch All The Lines, Indiana Mission Facebook page

Dear Mom,

I am doing pretty good for the most part!

How did the lesson you had to teach at Zone Conference go? Where was zone conference?  Is this something that President Cleveland comes to?  I will talk more about the training in Zone meeting near the end.  But the training went really well! I do feel that it was well received by some in the Zone. Zone meetings President Cleveland does not attend, and it was in Columbus.

Responses to news from home: That is awesome that you are on fall break for 2 weeks you lucky dogs haha. The family vacation you have planned sounds way fun!! You should see if you can find Elder Syrett and or his family!! He would freak out if he knew who you were!! I would too!!!  You bowled a 218, holy cow mom that is really good! I am glad you enjoyed the motorcycle ride with Dad, that way when I get back we can all go on some fun rides! That is a pretty cool story with the car! I am glad you listened to the spirit, so that the story ended in a good way. I love Bro. Smiley he is an awesome guy!

Where did you see meet the Mormons?  We saw it and my favorite stories were the ones about the Candy Bomber and the Mother, but I liked them all.  Did you have a favorite? We saw it both times as part of training, it was awesome. I really liked the Candy Bomber and the Fighter and really all of them!! I really liked the whole thing! Spanish Elders saw it first at our specialized training.  We were the first people to see it in all of Indiana!! We watched it in the church.

Transfers are next week do you think you will be transferred? For transfers it is probably about a 40/60 chance of leaving or staying so I am not really sure. It is crazy that I have been out almost an entire transfer; it blows my mind all the time!!

How are your investigators?  Bertin, Carlos and Freddie?  Any news on them?  How about success in finding any others?  You would think that opening a new area; you will be able to tract out many people.  Do you feel like you have covered much of the new area yet?  How is mission life going overall? So we got a total of 6 lessons this week...... Not ideal at all. I learned a lot this week. That is for sure. As far as finding more investigators, very slow because of some different reasons which I will not really go into.... :(  Freddie has fallen off the face of the earth, we can't find him. Carlos is still progressing, but just super slowly because of his very little understanding. Bertin is doing well, our main struggle with him, is committing to baptism. He is so close, but just not quite there yet... It drives me insane because I know of the happiness the Gospel can bring him, and those around him. I don't feel like we have covered much of the area, a chunk, but not a ton of it. As far as the work goes overall, it is slow for some certain reasons that make me very angry so they will not be discussed. I really like my companion.

Mom this letter is probably going to be shorter than usual because of the holiday so I am sorry. So now about the training. I taught my lesson last, and it was supposed to be something motivational, but the more I prayed and studied the more it came out kind of harsh...  I really put a lot of work into it all, and when it came time to give it I just went for it. So I started off by telling them that this is going to be a very personal training and not on how to do things with those around you, but on how to better yourself. I read a scripture in Alma that is very strong talking about how we are all guilty according to thoughts and actions and such and how we all must come to a realization of this, either now or before the Lord at the Last Day. So after that I said for this training to have any impact you cannot to yourself, and most importantly the Lord. I then went on to share some stories of my life and principles I have learned. One story I shared was the one about the baby duckling I brought home when I was really young. I don't even know if you remember the story, how Dad told me that I had done something very bad because the mother would now never take it back. I then later saw when I took it back how the mother ignored it, all because of something I had done. So I related this to how all of our actions have consequences no matter how big or small. Everything has an effect, kind of like the ripple on the water. I shared how we needed to be better not only in how we teach, but as in who we are. I shared with them ways that I had experienced this in my life. I shared a letter from Dad that I hold very dear which caused several in the Zone to cry... Including me, because I had not read it in a very long time. I told them how if we expect to be servants and representatives of the Lord we needed to be striving to be better than we now are. I told them that all things are possible if we are but diligent, and obedient. I have seen it in my mission, there are many other things we must do to invoke the blessings of Heaven as well, but if you start there, the others will follow as you continue to push forward with that steadfastness in Christ. I told them how they will never know the full value the badge they carry on their chest until that day when it is no longer there. I promised them many blessings if they improve themselves and truly commit themselves to the work. I had them do a commitment similar to the one the Stake President gave me when I came home, with the notecard.  I told them to take a note card and write down 5 goals and things you want to accomplish in this next transfer, and not like have 10 baptisms, but ways to improve yourself. I feel it went well.

Okay now for another story of the mission. So this week in the mission has been very hard.  As the week went on and my Patience continued to go down farther and farther, I not only noticed a decline in the work, but a decline in myself. Then one day I felt this feeling, and I will never forget it. It was along the lines of Christ’s discourse on the beam in one’s own eye. It hit me very hard, because to me my issues were because of things and people around me and how they had been affecting me. So I continued to ponder on that. I saw that yes because of the actions of others the area was struggling but that I was not helping it in any way by feeling negative and angry!  I got humbly to my knees one night when my companion had gone to sleep and asked for forgiveness and the spirit of forgiveness that I may forgive.  I felt the Lord's love for them and many others in that moment. I felt the amazing miracle of Forgiveness not for myself, but for others, which also helped me feel forgiven of my own sins and short comings, which there are many of. I learned as we were taught in Conference, that we are to love others as the Savior would, which is even more than I can imagine.  I feel as though I have been blessed to see a portion of the Saviors love in a time when I needed it. Yes things are still hard and at times I still get frustrated, but I know now that I must be better, follow the lesson I had given at zone conference.  It was a week where I learned a lot.

Well I love you so very much and hope that everything goes great for you this week!! I hope the vacation is fun and all goes well. I love you all and my prayers are with you daily. I hope to hear from you soon!

Love, Elder Paxman