A HUGE Monologue

Dear Mom,

The Indianapolis, Indiana Temple open house and dedication were announced this past week and Elder Paxman found out that he will miss it by 15 days. Yea I was really sad when I found out that I will miss all the temple stuff... Although it will be alright, it just gives me a reason to come back in August!!

We had a door bell ditching incident on Friday night at midnight.  I was very mad to say the least and if I hadn’t been alone would have ran the delinquents down.  I shared the whole story with Elder Paxman. The story was really funny, the little punk. Although, he is also lucky I wasn't there. I am not going to lie, but I am faster than dad and yourself, and I would run the little creep down. That would be getting off lightly.  Well next time that happens we will make sure it happens a little differently... I can't make a malicious face for I would :)  

Would it be alright if Brooklyn and guy her friends use your air soft guns? They may have already used them. ;-) haha Yea she can use my air soft guns. They all can, it doesn't bother me one bit. I am sure they will take care of them just fine. It made me laugh that she was the only girl.

How has your weather been?  Any changes or moisture? The weather has been pretty moderate; 30's most days, sometimes lower sometimes higher. No moisture what so ever. So that will be interesting later.

Did you get your small package and was everything intact? I did get the package so thank you for that. I am giving the book to the family tomorrow. So that will be really good. Everything survived in the package, so that is also good.

Did you have to go with the Seymour Elders to transfers or did they go alone?  Who is with Elder Porter in Seymour now? No they drove up on their own. So we just stayed and did the normal day things. Elder Porter is staying and Elder Baird is the new one. He seems great, very quiet, but that doesn't bother me.

How has the work been this past week?  Any good lessons?  The work has been pretty good this last week so I will address that later in the email. The teaching is going good, still slow at times, but better and we will keep improving if we can. We have had a few good lessons this last week and I will get to that a little later. 

We pray often that you will be able to find people to teach. Thank you for those prayers to find people to teach it helps us a lot.

Do you have a temple trip planned in the near future?  Will it be Chicago or Louisville?  It would be nice if you could attend the Chicago temple before coming home, since you already got to attend the Louisville temple. Yes so the Ramirez family is getting sealed in February, so hopefully we will be going up to see that.  It will probably count for my allowed temple trip for the last six months in the field. Then I will have one more chance to go sometime, and I am hoping that is with the Diaz family, if they are ready. We will probably go to the temple in Chicago with the Ramirez family because that is where they are from. So that should be really nice.

Any more service projects? I enjoy service and we are going to keep going and doing the wood chopping one. It was really fun, plus that way I can get better at it.

Do you spend a lot of time with the English Sisters and Elders serving in Columbus? We don't really spend a lot of time with the English Elders and sisters in Columbus. The only time is really P-day. Some times on other occasions, but it is very very rare. The Seymour sisters usually come up on P-days, but with the current mileage situation I doubt that, that is going to happen.

You mentioned having all the church films memorized, is that in English or Spanish or both?  haha yea I have seen those so much!!! I watch them in both, mostly Spanish so I have them memorized in both languages, it makes me laugh sometimes. It can makes thing fun sometimes when we joke around and laugh about being able to say the words before the actors do.

Thanks again for all the prayers they really do help us so much. Well this week has been really good. So there have been a lot of good stories this week. Elder Ryan and I had a really good heart to heart, where I hope I helped him see a few things and one of which is what I will be talking about a little today because it was the same topic that came up with a LA (less active). So we were coming home from church on Sunday when I felt just a twinkling of a thought to go by a LA that lives nearby. She has always been very friendly to us, but never really let us in for a lesson. So we knock and she answers the door.  We of course were smiling and she was smiling and you know we exchange pleasantries. So we first start talking about working out and stuff, because she is doing those things and so am I, with the whole 6 months to sexy thing. (Which by the way is a lot harder than it sounds). So we kept talking and she said something that caught my attention. It was something insignificant, but we talked about it a little. I felt then to ask her a few questions, which I did. Trying not to pry at all, but just very loving and concerning. During our conversation it got around to her telling us about some of the trials she had been having and how she has been exiling herself. I won't go into a lot of detail with that because it is not my place. She also shared some more emotional issues that she has, more along the lines of depression. Now I don't really think I have ever suffered from depression really, I don't know I usually find myself a pretty chipper person. Anyway, she says give me a second goes inside and grabs a coat. (good sign it means she is going to talk with us a while, we didn’t have our coats, coming straight from church. I was in a sweater and my suit.) So she steps out (also because her husband isn't home.) and we start to talk some more. It comes to the point where the spirit was incredibly strong, and we kept giving her advice from our own experiences. I told her, you know that is truly what we do as missionaries, we try our best to help others and bring joy into their lives, I said the way we do this and have it for ourselves is through our savior. Now more onto the part I am going to focus on also as my spiritual thought. We kept talking and the spirit was so strong!  Lessons like this one, where the spirit is so strong are the reason I came back, the reason I am doing this in the first place (along with a thousand other reasons as well.) Anyway we kept talking and offering her help about feeling alone and depression and things of that nature. Until I felt so impressed to leave an odd commitment and give her something. It started with something more like this. "You want to know something, one thing that helps me get through the day, it is of something of extreme worth to me. Something so small yet so powerful” I then pulled off my missionary tag on my shirt. I said “this little piece of black plastic means more to me than many things in this world. It has brought me more happiness than I can think of, along with many trials and sorrows. I have fought for this since I was a young boy, and I have even fought for it twice. You know I want you to have it." So I gave her one of my tags. I told her that in my mission and in my life, the tag has helped me in so many ways. I told her that I have seen my fair share of trials, haha, but that my mission has brought me hope and something to fight for. She took it and asked, "How have you stayed so positive through all of this, through all you have been through?” I wish I could just get inside your head, and see how you think and what you are thinking." I then said do you want to know? She said "Yea". I than said "right now three things are in my mind. First off it is butt cold out here, we laughed. (Remember this is like 6:15 at night and I don't have a coat) Then I said second, I have the wonderful opportunity to be standing here talking to a wonderful daughter of God right now. And third, I always know when I feel down at this time of night I can look up and see my absolute favorite star. That is the gist of what I am thinking." I went on to elaborate about how knowing that, that star (Vega by the way) is there I feel a sense of belonging, a sense of peace and awe at the marvelous world we live in. I have been blessed with a love of the outdoors. This is one of the reasons for that, it allows me to know of the great love our Heavenly Father has for each one of his children. Along with many other things as well.

I continued. (Now this next part is both from the discussion with Elder Ryan and also the LA). I said that the tag has a varying value. It is only really worth as much as we give it. It only means something to those who fight for it and desire it, with all their heart, might, mind and soul. Now the tag I wear on my chest has a lot of symbolism and meaning to me, so it would take too long to get into too much depth. Although every day I wake up get ready for the day and place that tag on my chest. Now after the mission and during my little "Vacation" as many call it. I will not be literally putting on a tag. But that does not mean it will not be forever ingrained on my heart!! The little tag I wear shows I am a worthy servant of my savior Jesus Christ. You look at a missionary name tag and several things stick out. One is the missionary’s name, the biggest thing on the tag. Usually engraved into it. This to me is a symbolism of how it should be not just a tag, but a feeling we keep in our hearts at all times. Our name is the name of those gone on before us; we carry their legacy; so make them proud of the deeds you do while wearing their name, for it is theirs as well as yours. So cherish it with pride. Second, is the Saviors name, showing who we are here to represent, and who we have with us always. Now why is our name bigger than His?  We are not more important or better in any way that is for darn sure. No, I believe it is because you are the one wearing the tag, you are his messenger. You are chosen by him to do his work. "Every soul is great in the eyes of God!" Including and maybe especially yours. Sometimes we will not teach hundreds and baptize thousands, but it will be of no import, if we can say when all is said and done, I did what I could, and I have him always with me. He will forever be on my heart, just as he was for those two years or 18 months, and for some even shorter. This tag that we missionaries wear better mean a heck of a lot to them, for it does to me! And if it doesn't... Change that; make it worth more to you. You don't even have to have a missionary tag to make it worth something in your own life. For we should all be wearing the Tag of Christ on our hearts. For every member a missionary, and "I will not leave you comfortless; I will not fail thee nor forsake thee," rang the words of the Master. So for me although my time to wear the tag is slowly (yet lightning fast) coming to an end. I hope to have it forever on and in my heart. So that when "Some poor fainting struggling seaman" crosses my way, I may be the lower light for him.

I have so much more to say on this topic because I feel so strongly about it. But alas I have already written a huge monologue.  So I will close. I love you all so much and hope that this week is an amazing experience for us all. Remember that men are that they might have joy. There is always something to smile about and be grateful for. I know it for I have felt it. I love you mom and I hope that you and everyone else enjoys this letter if not... well too bad I already wrote it! 8P hahahaha have a great week and thank you again for all you do.

Love, Elder Paxman