Sisters are interesting creatures...

Elder Paxman and a member from Columbus just before transfers.

Dear Mom,

How have you been feeling this week?  Better? I have been alright this last week. My health has been not the greatest. I have gotten very sick three times this last week including Monday. So I am not sure what is going on there.  I am nervous when I get sick. Anyway I do not want to stress you out anymore with that.

How are things going with your new companion? My companion and I get along decently. So far I really like him, he is a good kid. His trainer taught him some interesting things.

How are you adjusting to the new area?  Learning your way around? Did apartment cleaning ensue?  The new area is interesting; I am basically working from close to scratch again hahaha. It seems President likes to keep things interesting. We are really going to be making a push with less actives and part member families. So we will see how that goes. I am hoping that it goes well. We haven't really gotten the opportunity to clean the apartment. It is better than it was before, but overall not the best. We are hoping to get another chunk done today. I am starting to learn how to get around. I do live in the Bluffs apartments, yes right next to a cemetery. As far as rural goes... Not really.

Any requests for your package? Just both the anti-biotics, those will come in handy the way my health is acting. I am afraid I will lose more weight, because while being sick it is hard to eat, because it only makes it worse. So yep fun adventures of health :).  I can't think of anything else that I need in this package. Snacks are always nice. I am really not sure;  because I in reality do not have much time left in the mission, sadly!! 

Has the weather warmed up and is your car ungrounded?  The cars have been ungrounded now for a bit. The weather is starting to warm up which is amazing! I like the warmer weather.

How has The Work been your first week in the new area? The work here in Lafayette is slow as of right now, but I am hoping to change that with the help of the Lord.

Just when you had some commitments for baptism in Columbus you were transferred. Yea it is sad that I was transferred out of Columbus, but I am definitely here for a reason, I can feel it. I hope I can finish out my mission here, or really wherever the Lord needs me. We have found one man, he is the husband of a return missionary women. He is from the Dominican Republic, he is near impossible to understand sometimes haha. He although I feel will progress rapidly if we keep working with him, and do our best as missionaries. His name is Franklin. and he is a very nice man and wants to come closer to God. So we will see how that goes here shortly.

Do you feel as if you are a hard working missionary?  I know this is a dumb question but, I’ve been thinking about it lately, you hear of lazy missionaries or Jack missionaries, and I of course am biased and think you would be a hard worker, but what is your take on your own dedication? Mom I have asked myself that question many a times. Am I a good worker or not? My answer as of this moment, yes we are. We were not perfect and we had days where we were definitely not the best workers or missionaries for that matter. Although we had those days, I feel that we did good work in that area. I always strive to better myself. Although you will find, if you have not already, I am very very hard on myself. Why, I am not so sure, but I am. I feel as though I can always be doing better than I am, and when I don't do enough, or what I feel is enough, I beat myself up about it.  It’s hard to realize that there is only so much I can do, I am but one man, although, this one man can do many mighty miracles with the help of God. Maybe one of the biggest miracles is what happens with my own life. Who knows though maybe I need to humble myself more I am not sure. I feel as though the people in the mission feel my desire to teach and help others, yes. All of them I am not sure, but I feel as though they know what I am here to do. So yea that is a hard question, In the long run, I feel I have done what I have been called to do, and sometimes more.

Any lessons this week?  Anything stand out? We were able to teach a few lessons this last week. Not many, but a few. I am more of a quality versus quantity kind of a guy though. So we will see how things go. We are always trying to teach more lessons. It does not help that I was really sick for a good few days.

How do you feel investigators respond to the law of tithing?  Is it hard for them to commit to this? As far as the Law of Tithes and Offerings, I do feel it is hard sometimes for people to grasp it. I have not had too much of a difficult time with it though. Most people have the faith to do it; it is just committing them to act.  It is hard though, because many of these Hispanic members do not have much to start, so it is a lot to ask them to give up a tenth of what they have. They usually do their best though to do it. It is more of a person by person scenario.

Do you help members with Family Tree?  I have heard a lot of missionaries are helping members to do family history? We do work on that stuff with members. We helped a lady in the branch find and reserve 20 names just this last week. It was nice to help her with that. So yea we work on it with others.

Tell me about your new district?  How many companionships etc.? There are 3 companionship's in my district. Us, the sisters and the ZL's. No others are Spanish except us. Yes the district here is bigger, although I am not sure if I will really ever do exchanges because I don't do them with sisters and then with the ZL's I am not sure how that is going to work. We are also working with Frankfort which is stripped right now, so we will be blitzing that area at times, which means both me and my companion go down there and work. We are their only Spanish support in the Stake. I am the district leader still. We have district meetings about once a week. Sometimes that changes.

How do you feel about having Sisters for the first time?  Be kind to them. I will be kind with the sisters don't worry mom haha. I will be supportive to them, don't worry. Sisters are interesting creatures that is for sure though... Missionaries are kind of weird though. I have come to find this out in the last little while haha.

I told him a bit about my weekend at the Missionary Mom Retreat.  The mission couple that served in the office there in Indy were a part of a panel. That sounds like a cool thing with the panels. I am glad the Hodges sat in on that panel. They are amazing people. I am glad that you enjoyed them sharing that little tid-bit about me. I usually don't tell people much about those days. I feel weak at times when I talk about my illnesses and such. Although they have made me so strong it is hard sometimes for people to see that. I am not sure if you knew all that stuff that the Hodges said. I never included much of what happened in my letters home. Even when I got home, I don't think I told you and dad a ton of what happened. Dad a little more than you, sorry mom, but I am sure he told you none the less. I am glad I have made an impression on someone, but I do not wish to be talked about as some great young man. I only do what I believe is right, what I believe should be done. I am not some great person by any means. I am a simple servant of the Lord. I will do my best, and sometimes I don't it is sad, but true, but when push comes to shove I want to be able to stand and say, my mission wasn't perfect, but it changed my life and the lives of others. To this point I feel it has. Especially my own life, with all the experiences with my health. I have learned more than pen can write, or tongue explain. I hope I do enough to live up to the expectations of others.

I heard Sister Dawn Armstrong from “Meet the Momons” speak this weekend.  She said something I liked.  “Missionaries love people even when they are doing bad things.”  “We all need to be like missionaries and more like Christ and Love people better.” I am really glad she talked on those things. They are things that every good missionary wishes they could teach to members and take home with them after the mission. I have always tried to be loving in my life, at times I have done well, and other times I have not. We all work to improve, so I am glad she asked all to be better at that, because we all can be, even missionaries. We have some people in our lives that need that love. I shouldn't even have to name them for you to know. There are several people I have in my "sights" so to speak when I get back home.

Also we learned that Fear and Faith occupy the same space.  In Preach My Gospel is says the only thing that keeps you from finding people to teach is fear.  That is very true and at times I have had a lot of fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, but being able to move forward and act with Faith even when the fear is present. At least in my point of view. Fear is the opposite of Faith that is true, but many times we have to push through the Fear before the faith will come. Elder Holland says that if you have any converts on your mission the first one better be YOU! I hope that if there is one thing I have gotten out of my mission it is that. That I have been changed, sometimes I don't feel any different, and other times I look in the mirror and feel like I have no idea who I am looking at. The goal for me and I feel many missionaries is to keep that change even when we come home.

One other topic discussed was that the best kept secret in the church is how truly hard it is to watch your son or daughter walk away to serve the lord.  It is true that people do not realize the difficulty of the parents sending out a child to live on their own for 2 years or 18 months in places that are many times dangerous. It is also incredibly hard for the missionary themselves. Many people shrug off how hard it is because many people do it. This does not make the sacrifice any less. In fact, sometimes it’s harder. The decision to serve a mission the first time for me was easy. It was something I had desired all of my life, and that is a story in and of itself for another day. The second time though... Deciding to return, was nigh impossible, you know how hard it was for me, at least in part. I never shared all, nor may I ever, time will tell I am sure :) I am doing my best to finish strong; it makes me sad to think it is almost done... At least the part with the tag is...

Well this letter has gotten really long. So I am going to wrap it up after the spiritual thought of mine, although it was also throughout the whole letter. So as you know this week it will have been 2 years exactly from when I left home that first time, as a young man. My oh my how things have changed. Almost died once, well maybe a few more times than once ;) I have grown in these last two years I feel. Even if some of the things I have learned were things I knew before. There is a poem on my desk or maybe it is still on my desk. It was called my mission. Griff sent it to me at the beginning of my mission. I want you to go read it, and post it on the blog if you can. Some of its thoughts have been on my mind lately. Not all for I am not yet finished, but some. I hope these two years has treated you as well as they have treated me, blessed our family as much as it’s blessed me. These two years may not have been the best, but they will definitely be remembered as some of the greatest. Then again, our best year should be the one we are living right now. I am grateful for all the love and support I receive from all of those in my life. There are many, and many that I do not know very well, and for that I am sorry. Maybe that will change one day. I continually hope and pray that these two years have changed some other soul and not just my poor soul. If not though, at least I have grown. In around 3 months time, I feel as though I will be saying many of the same things. I know though without a shadow of a doubt that God Lives, and that He loves YOU! Each and every one of you!! Trust me sometimes it is so hard to see, but we cannot see what He can. You are divine spirit children of God. Never forget that He loves you. I have at times in my life, and it makes things a lot harder than they need to be. I hope that we may love others as He loves us. Overall I know that the mission is worth it for anyone who is thinking of going. Anyone who is on a mission or anyone who is back from one, you get out of the mission what you put into it, I do believe. If you put in your whole heart and soul, you will get it back, but refined and more pure. I am out of time, but I love you all so much and I hope this week treats you to a few pleasant surprises. My prayers are with you always. 

Love, Elder Paxman